The Crimson Side
by Fortuna
Summary: Can it be? Could the end be in sight...? I don't know about you, but I certainly hope so.
1. One of THOSE mornings

I asked Santa for a pony when I was five, and I never got one. Last year I asked for Zelda; I'm still waiting...  
  
Okay, the first chapter of this is gonna be pretty short; I want to take my time with this and TRY to make it good. ...Hey! Who's sniggering?! Fess up! The story isn't TOO clichéd; it's the OoT from someone else's perspective. And if you don't like that "someone", you can write a detailed essay pointing out my flawed logic and mail it to the center of the moon because frankly my deer, I don't give a dam. On that same note, all flames will be posted on my website to be mocked before they're sent in a rocket to the sun, where they belong. ^.^ *deep breath*  
  
  
  
It was a lovely spring morning, actually, as long as one ignored the rather conspicuous swirling, black clouds above Death Mountain nearby. Mr. Sun was just peeking over the hilltops to shine on a picturesque little village in northern Hyrule. This particular morning, however, that jolly orb of burning plasma seemed to be paying special attention to the south-eastern, second-story window of one quaint, cozy house in the quaint, cozy burg. At least, that's what it felt like to the owner of the aforementioned window.  
  
A pair of ruby eyes groggily fluttered open to greet the day. And quickly snapped shut again because the day was too dad-gum bright.  
  
"Unnn..."  
  
Half asleep, Sheik turned over in bed; trying to save his retinas from the mean, nasty old sunlight streaming through the open window...  
  
*Whump!*  
  
...and discovered, much to his chagrin, that his bed ended about eight inches sooner than he'd thought it would. Mmmm...Hardwood floor goodness, nice and cold, too.  
  
[Oh, this is gonna be a swell day; I can tell. Hmmm...This floor needs sweeping...]  
  
He lay there for a few moments, staring at the far wall and watching the pattern of shadows that the leaves of the tree outside were making.  
  
[I have this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something. Must have been really important, apparently.]  
  
Willing some of the cobwebs out of his brain, Sheik tried to remember what it was that he'd forgotten, but found it a bit hard to concentrate due to all the noise going on outside. About a month ago, a pair of robins had decided to nest in the tree growing beside the house, and every morning, without fail, the male would start chirruping and warbling as if it would explode out of happiness.  
  
[If only it WOULD explode.], Sheik grumbled silently. He could just picture the little bird singing away and then BAM!, it'd fly apart in a could of feathers and robin giblets. Then maybe he could have some peace.  
  
Reluctantly prying himself off the floor, he stumbled over to the by-now-infamous window and, leaning out over the sill, addressed the obnoxious avian.  
  
"Do you think you'd mind keeping it down to a dull roar over there?" He bore a glare that would unnerve many a stout hylian. The robin clammed up, ruffled his feathers...  
  
[Ha! The superior, highly-evolved sheikah triumphs!]  
  
...and burst into song even louder than before. [Stupid bird.] Sheik pulled back into the room and huffily brushed a wayward lock of blond hair out of his eyes. He was just turning his thoughts back to the thing-which-escaped-his-memory when he became aware of the door to his room being opened. He whirled to face his would-be attacker; simultaneously snatching the blanket off his bed to cover...himself. His timing was slightly off.  
  
"Eek! I didn't see anything!"  
"Goddesses, can you at least KNOCK before you burst in like that?!"  
  
A very shocked, slightly blushing Princess Zelda stood frozen in the doorway, eyes wide as saucers and hands firmly clamped over her mouth/nose region. As for Sheik, he had a white-knuckle grip on the blanket swathed around his hips, and his face had turned a rather fetching tint of vermilion. After he recovered a bit from his initial embarrassment, he glared indignantly and drew himself up to his full height (which still wasn't very tall).  
  
"Would you quit staring at me?!"  
  
Zelda had by now gotten over her own abashment, and was, instead, cheesed-off that she was being spoken to in such a disrespectful manner.  
  
"Why are you still here?! Impa and I both thought you'd left at least half an hour ago!"  
  
Sheik cocked his head slightly and his face assumed that cute, quizzical "What?" expression.  
  
Zelda rolled her eyes and sighed. "Didn't Rauru want you at the temple early today? Someone very important is waking up today; am I ringing any bells here?"  
  
Sheik squeezed his eyes shut and pondered, and mulled, and cerebrated; suddenly, he was wide-awake. He turned over his right hand and looked at what he'd forgotten all morning. On his palm was a note he'd scrawled in ink the night before: 'Sunday: Hero's Reawakening'  
  
"Holy crap; Link!"  
"Sheik, how could you POSSIBLY forget about that?! Hurry; get ready!"  
"Well I certainly can't get dressed while you're standing here watching me can I?!"  
"Oh. Right." And with that, Zelda slipped out the door, exasperated, leaving Sheik to fight down screams of panic.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yikes! Sheik is definitely not a morning person. How is it so far? I'll try to get more written fairly soon. Let's hope this loaded okay... 


	2. Punching the proverbial clock

Thanks, those of you who reviewed. About that plot hole, I've finished the game about 3 times now, so I know what plot hole you're thinking of...I just like to be contrary. In none of my fics will Sheik and Zelda ever be the same person. It's more fun that way.^^ On a more personal note, I lost my little kitty-cat.;-; Poor Megatron; poor, defenseless, buzzsaw Megatron.   
  
  
  
  
  
[Ow. Ow. OUCH!] When brushing hair, it's best that one starts at the tips and work one's way back to the roots. That way, small tangles are taken care of without big, knotted-up messes forming. Sheik knew this, but chose to endure the temporary pain of ripping through his hair with the brush for the sake of saving time. That done, he turned to the mirror (okay, it was a polished sheet of metal, whatever works).   
  
[Note to self: I need a new shirt.]  
  
Yet another tear was forming near what used to be the shirt's hem. Damning the economic slump, he opened the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out the bandages he'd be wearing that day. The strips that wreathed his forearms were beginning to fray. Oh, well, so he'd look a little ratty, such is life.  
  
[I could afford to sleep longer if I didn't have to do this every day...] Quickly checking to make sure the bandages around his arms and head were secure, he made a dash for the stairs, nearly omitting opening the door before trying to leave...  
  
Deftly avoiding a very ticked, ready-to-lecture Impa, our hero broke forth from his place of residence and proceeded to book it down the road like a bat outta' hell. It was a deceptively long run from Kakariko to Castle Town, Sheik realized with much dismay, and he certainly couldn't sprint the entire way.  
  
[I'm not gonna make it...Wait, what am I doing?!]  
  
Yes, at that moment, Sheik remembered that he was a sheikah, and sheikahs can teleport. The few hylians who were up and about that early wondered why they'd seen a young man darting through the town square shatter and vaporize without warning. A few of them decided to lay off the booze; all of them decided not to mention the spectacle to another living soul.  
  
[D'oh!...Probably should've waited until I was out of town. Too late now, though.]  
  
Bracing himself for the nauseating lurch that accompanied re-entry, Sheik envisioned the Chamber of Sages. In a little less than a jiffy, an infinitely spacious room seems to materialize. It was a pitch-black void, save for several luminescent pillars scattered randomly throughout the expanse. Sheik had alighted on what seemed to be the largest and brightest of them. All was quiet, even the ever-present, subsonic hum could barely be felt.  
  
[...Hey, maybe I'm safe, after all...]  
"Up with the cuccos, I see."  
  
After nearly falling off the edge of the pillar in fright, Sheik slowly turned to face his employer, Rauru. Sheik's gaze was firmly fixed to the ground, but he could feel the steely glare being sent his way.  
  
[Blast it!] "Uh...Good morning, your Excellency; I'm sorry I'm late, I-"  
  
Rauru cut him off with an irritated wave of his hand. "I'm sure you have some excuse, and I don't want to hear it. Consider yourself lucky you got here when you did. HE is just on his way out; you can catch him if you hurry. I trust you've been properly informed?" I was a statement, not a question.  
  
"Yes, sir. I know what I'm going to say..." [Dried-up, cantankerous old b-]  
"Good. Well, then, my boy, you'd best get going!"  
  
*SHOVE*  
  
"Ahhhhh!" [Last time I stand so close to the edge...]  
  
Sheikahs can fly. Just like a rock. As he reached terminal velocity, Sheik wondered if this was how one moved between the Chamber of Sages and the temple itself, or if the Sage of Light had it in for him. Best not to take any chances. Just as he was preparing to teleport, however, something else did it for him.  
  
[Whoa...it tickles!]  
  
The chamber was enveloped in stormy darkness and replaced a moment later with the Temple of Time. He alighted on the rafters, and had soon spotted his intended target in the dim lighting. Link was wandering about almost directly below Sheik's perch, looking a little disoriented and very confused.  
  
[Poor guy, must be pretty rough...]  
  
Waiting until Link was well clear of his landing spot, Sheik took a deep breath or two to steady himself, before his feet left the rafter and he fell gracefully to the marble floor, landing almost without a sound.  
  
*Thud*  
  
Almost. He didn't go unnoticed.  
  
  
  
  
Sorry, this one's short to. Soy muy ocupada hoy. Better than nothing, right? ;) Someone wondered if this was yaoi. Considering my love of adjectives, a yaoi by me would become either sickeningly fluffy, or sickeningly vulgar, so, no, it's not^^;;;. Disappointed? Relieved? Confused? GOOD! See ya' later, chickadees. 


	3. All that trouble for a five minute speec...

I WILL make this chapter longer. I will I will I will I will. Maybe. Okay, let's see...Noooooo! Writer's block! *sob*  
  
  
  
In one surprisingly fluid movement, Link drew his sword and spun, ready to reduce the whatever-it-was behind him to bite-size pieces.  
  
"Pleasedon'thurtmeIcomeinpeace!" Sheik blurted, trying not to hyperventilate. Much to his relief, Link lowered the sword and relaxed a bit. However, he kept the sword ready, and Sheik could tell that he was checking for any sudden movements on his part.  
  
[Better get this over with.] "I've been waiting for you, Hero of Time...[Sorta.] "When evil rules all, an awakening voice from the Sacred Realm will call those destined to be Sages, who dwell in the five temples. One in a deep forest...One on a high mountain......." [Uh-oh.]  
  
Link looked more confused than ever. "Um...I think that's only two."  
  
"I know, I forgot the next part...Oh, yeah, okay...One under a vast lake...One within the house of the dead...One inside a goddess of the sand...[That last one sounds a bit weird...]   
  
"Together with the Hero of Time, the awakened ones will bind the evil and return the light of peace to the world...This is the legend of the temples passed down by my people, the Sheikah." [Apparently. I've never heard of it...]  
  
Link was completely lost, but he felt stupid just staring and not saying anything. "I don't think I caught your name..."  
  
[He's not understanding a word I'm saying. Chalk up another one.] "I am Sheik. [Mock the name and die.] Survivor of the Sheikahs..."  
  
Link appeared to be torn between asking him a question, and making a jab at Sheik's rather unimaginative name; he wound up standing with a blank expression on his face.  
  
[Say something else.] "As I see you standing there holding the mythical Master Sword, you really look like the legendary Hero of Time...[I'm not the only one with a generic name...] "If you believe the legend, you have no choice. [If you don't believe the legend, you have no choice...] "You must look for the five temples and awaken the five Sages...[Goddesses, this is boring...] "One Sage is waiting for the time of awakening in the Forest Temple. The Sage is a girl I am sure you know...[Gee, who could it be...] "Because of the evil power in the temple, she cannot hear the awakening call from the Sacred Realm...Unfortunately, equipped as you currently are, you cannot even enter the temple...[Because everyone was too lazy to fix the stairs...] "But, if you believe what I'm saying, you should head to Kakariko Village...Do you understand, Link?"  
  
Link really wasn't able to process cryptic instructions at the moment. "Uhhh...What?"  
Sheik sighed. [I'm in the presence of genius.] "Just go to Kakariko."   
  
Link nodded, and, even more muddled than before, turned to leave. Sheik took that as his cue to leave. He formed an image of Hyrule Field in his mind, and let himself slip into the coolness of the void. Thinking he'd heard something, Link turned around; he was alone again...  
  
[That had to be the corniest speech I've ever given...] Sighing, Sheik took off in the direction of Lon Lon Ranch, keeping an eye out for poes. He hadn't had time for breakfast, and he was starting to feel shaky. He didn't relish the thought of dealing with the ranch's rather atypical staff, but a fast metabolism must be obeyed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay, I know this was really short, and I ought to make them longer, BUT I HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK AND THIS WAS as far as I could get. Sorry, left the caps lock on...Silly me. *sigh* I wish it was longer, but it wasn't, and it was just sitting on my hard drive going "Either write more or post me, you @#$&%." Or words to that effect. Bye. 


	4. Procuring brunchfast and starting for th...

STILL have writer's block, but maybe if I write a bit, it'll go away...  
  
  
  
Sheik eased along the inner stockade wall of Lon Lon, sticking to the shadows and dark nooks, and keeping one eye on the spindly man not ten yards away. Ingo had been the owner/manager of Lon Lon Ranch for going on four years. At first, he'd seemed a bit intimidating, with his wild eyes and unkempt mustache; now, though, Sheik was reminded of the clowns at carnival, especially with the style of clothing Ingo had taken a liking to.  
  
[Pantaloons; and people make fun of MY clothes...He could probably hurt someone with that ruff of his.]  
  
Slowly, and very carefully, Sheik opened the rear door of the main barn, trying not to let it creak on its well-rusted hinges. As soon as it was sufficiently ajar, he slipped inside, softly latching the door behind him. He sighed, allowing himself to relax for a moment, and then he crept over to the big double doors leading into the pastures. The doors, which hadn't been oiled in many moons, didn't appreciate being opened, and protested quite loudly.  
  
[Shhhhh!]  
"Who's there? That you, Malon?" A coarse voice rose above the noise those naughty barn doors were making. A voice that was shortly followed by footsteps.  
  
[Loathsome #$%#@ doors!] Casting a quick glance in either direction, Sheik made a dash for the stockade wall and wedged himself between it and the barn. And not a moment too soon; Ingo was around the corner a few seconds later, pitchfork at the ready. Sheik tried to concentrate on being invisible while Ingo prowled around the barn, every so often stopping to inspect some innocent patch of dirt or stray alfalfa.  
  
[Please don't check down here...] Apparently satisfied that there were no vandals or thieves in his precious ruin of a barn, Ingo shuffled off and disappeared around the corner to get back to his urgent and very important...supervising. Yes, he was supervising. Sheik, after a few attempts, managed to get himself un-wedged and sat down on the grass for a minute.  
  
"Whew."[I have got to be more careful...] Seeing Malon in one of the corrals, Sheik hoisted himself up onto his feet and started to work his way over there. The smattering of cows looked up from their grazing a moment to regard the weird-looking guy slinking towards the corrals. But, grazing and cud chewing took precedence over watching freaks, and the cows swiftly lost interest.  
  
Reaching his destination, Sheik hopped up and over the fence before announcing his arrival.  
  
"Nice weather we've been having lately, isn't it?"  
  
Letting out a surprised squawk and jumping nearly a foot into the air, Malon turned, recognized her visitor, and had Sheik crushed in a bear hug in the space of five seconds. Sheik could practically hear his spine cracking. Desperately, he fought to get oxygen into his lungs, all in vain.  
  
"Ruby! Ain't seen you round here for goin' on a fortnight!" Malon didn't have much of a social life anymore, and Sheik was the only person she had to talk to. She liked the animals well enough; they just didn't make for very interesting conversation. On the up side, Ingo stayed away from her far more once she started chatting with the cuccos and having one-sided conversations with the air.  
  
"Malon..." Sheik gasped weakly, "Air...!"  
"Oops, beg pardon. Don't know my own strength...teehee."  
  
Sheik eyed her in mock reproach, and dramatically dusted off his outfit.  
  
"And if I've told you once, I've told you at least seven times: my name is not Ruby." One of Malon's foibles was the fact that she invented pet names for almost everyone she met, whether they approved of them or not.  
  
"Yeah, but yer name ain't pretty; Ruby sounds better." It was really a waste of breath to argue with her. She'd go to her grave calling him by a girl's name. "What's the occasion, that you would grace me with yer presence, or did y'all just miss the melodious sound of my voice?" She teased, purposely making the twang in her voice more pronounced.  
  
Sheik suddenly felt a bit guilty that he couldn't stay longer. "I'm gonna sound like a freeloader, but I...sorta missed breakfast today..." He trailed off lamely.  
  
Malon stared at him blankly, until it clicked. "Oh! Well why didn't ya just say somethin!" And with that, she sauntered off to the ranch-house. Five or so minutes later, she re-emerged, a chunk of what appeared to be bread in one hand, and a glass bottle in the other.  
  
"Here," she said, unceremoniously handing the aliment to Sheik, who subsequently stashed it away in...that convenient blank space void thing that travelers keep their stuff in.  
  
"Much obliged."  
"And will you be paying now, or would you like to make installments? It's a joke, Ruby, you're supposed to laugh now." Sheik started to apologize for being a burden, but Malon cut him off. "Now, don't start with that, you'd do the same for me. It's just some old bread and a dribble of milk anyhow."  
  
"I'm at least bringing the bottle back."  
"No, yer keepin it."  
"Glass is expensive!"  
"And it ain't like we don't got plenty. Never know when you might need it."  
"Wooing me with gifts won't work. You should know by now I'm not that kind of guy..."   
  
Malon almost smacked him for that one. When she saw him flinch she just burst out laughing, or rather giggling. Sheik took a look at the sun, not directly at it, mind, that's bad for your eyes.   
  
"Listen, I'm sorry to take your stuff and run, but I've got to make the Lost Woods before nightfall."  
  
Malon took on a conspiratorial expression. "Oooh, on business, are we? Do tell."  
  
"Sorry, but it's highly classified. Wouldn't want me to get my tongue cut out, would you? Wait, don't answer that." He started for the eastern stockade. Malon had to jog to keep up with him.  
  
"Then I guess you'd better get goin'. Get back to yer assassination or military coup d'etat or whatever it's called." She watched as Sheik scaled the outer wall, balancing on the top planks when he reached them.  
  
"If the secret police show up, we never met, okay?"  
"Oh, I'm sorry; if they catch me, I'm gonna snitch. Sing like a canary!"  
"If only you could."  
  
*SHOVE!*  
  
And so ended the balancing act, and Malon got to see Sheik land in a heap on the ground outside.  
  
"...Oooog. I'm okay..."  
"Then you'd best be off. Yer burnin daylight!" After making a most unladylike noise in her throat that was somewhere between a giggle and a snort, Malon disappeared from view behind the stockade to get back to her chores. Sheik tried to stand up as painlessly as possible, quite a task considering the fall he'd just had. Spotting a suitably shady tree, he limped over and flopped down under it to choke down his meal. Lon Lon wasn't famous for it's bread, and with good reason. He was hungry enough, however, to make short work of it despite its somewhat staleness.   
  
[Wasted too much time, don't know if I'll make it...]  
  
Taking one more glance at the sun to gauge the time, he set off in the direction of the southeastern forests.  
  
  
  
  
  
I really didn't mean for there to be so much syrupy, platonic banter, but there was...Malon sounds weird; maybe I just can't write her. She always struck me as a bit of a smartarse. This fic's going to take a looong time and a lot of chapters, especially at the rate I'm going. *watches as snail types faster than her* But it's worth it, right? *crickets* 


	5. In the days before Motel 6.

It's incredible! I'm updating!  
  
  
  
Sheik looked up at the sun for the fifth time in approximately five minutes. He wasn't making good time; it must have been at least four in the afternoon by now, and the woods were only a thin line on the horizon. He picked up the pace a bit.  
  
[Good thing this country's so pathetically small...]  
  
As he was running, he became aware of a faint "whoosh" sound behind him.  
  
[What now?] Halting, he scanned the area for movement. His only company was some stunted clumps of weeds and a rather large boulder that was sitting in the field for some reason unknown to man.  
  
"Hm. Oh well." He was just starting off anew when he heard, quite distinctly, a cackle. [...Okay, I'm creeped out now...] He wasn't creeped out for long, though. Whatever it was that had cackled then decided that it would be oodles of fun to klonk Sheik over the head with his/her/its lantern, which it promptly did.  
  
"OW! %$#@!" Sheik rubbed his assailed noggin and finally got a look at the whatever it was. [Stupid poe...] The poe bobbed along in the air, swinging its lantern, giggling, and generally being a pest. It vanished and reappeared a few feet in front of him, seeming to say "I hit you, and what are YOU gonna do about it?"   
  
*Sigh* [I'm sooo not in the mood for this...] Taking out the only thing close to a weapon he'd thought to bring with him, Sheik waited until the troublesome wraith swooped within arm's reach...  
  
*KABONG!*  
  
[Well, that was easier than I expected...Not even a scratch.] Setting his harp back in....that void thing where travelers keep their stuff...He studied the grinning flame now hovering in front of him. [Waste not...] Taking out the empty bottle left over from brunchfast, Sheik rather roughly stuffed the flame-poe-thing inside and replaced the stopper. The poe was not amused.  
  
"How do you like THEM apples?" Sheik held the bottle up to his face. "Hmm...I think I'll call you Murry. You look like a Murry." Grinning proudly like an idiot, Sheik added the bottle o' poe to his ....void thing... and continued on his merry way.  
  
It was just after dark when Sheik reached the edge of the woods, probably thanks to a few long sprints on Sheik's part. The first monsters were just starting to rise from the ground as Sheik stepped into the log tunnel leading inside the dense foliage. [Heh. Suckers.]  
  
Very carefully walking over a bridge that groaned threateningly under his weight, Sheik ducked through yet another tunnel and found himself in a small, exceedingly primitive-looking village. [When Impa said there was a village I could spend the night in, this in not what I had envisioned...] Dodging the odd sentient killer plant, he entered the first empty tree stump-turned-house he found. It had surprisingly low ceilings.  
  
[Ow!]   
  
Rummaging through the absent owner's cupboards, he scrounged up enough of ...what appeared to be edible for a small meal. [Blech...] By that time it had grown too dark to do much besides sleep, which didn't sound like a bad idea, considering the day he'd had...  
  
[Great, the guy's a munchkin...] Gamely trying to arrange himself on the sadly undersized bed, Sheik ended up scrunched into a ball with one leg draped over the end-board because there wasn't enough room for another appendage.   
  
[This is gonna be a looong night...] He squirmed a bit, realized it was hopeless since he'd get cramps no matter what position he slept in, and let himself doze off.  
  
  
  
Meh, I don't really care for how this chapter came out...but what're ya gonna do? Might as well stick with the short chapters for now; it's pretty much all I can manage, anyway... 


	6. Don't you just hate it when this happens...

Whew! I've been getting lazy....Well, lazier, anyway.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was probably late into the morning by the time the sun had risen high enough to stream its rosy fingers through the crude doorway of the hut. Still half asleep, Sheik turned away from the evil light of dawn, only to have his neck seize up with pain. Being cramped up in one position all night hadn't done a whole heap of good for his muscles.  
  
"Ahh....ow..." Hissing a little, Sheik very slowly stretched out his spine as best he could. Lying still for a moment, as if just that much movement had drained him of energy, he let himself wake up a bit and remember where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. Taking a deep breath and mustering up the willpower to move, Sheik gingerly raised himself to a sitting position, unintentionally popping his back and several joints in the process.   
  
It was then that he got the distinct feeling that he was being watched. Looking up from the floor, he tensed momentarily to see a small girl staring back at him, a white-knuckle grip on the big stick she wielded. She looked as if she was debating the wisdom and practicality of challenging the stranger, and running like the wind. While she gawked at Sheik, he noticed that her hair was tinged with green, and a small, winged orb of light hovered above her left shoulder. [Kokiri. So that's why everything's so small...] Deciding that sitting and looking at her without saying anything probably wasn't very constructive, he was a little surprised when she spoke first.  
  
"Why do you wear such funny clothes?"  
  
Well, THAT was unexpected. It wasn't really a question you asked someone who had broken into your home, that was for sure.  
  
"They're not funny to me." Sheik answered patiently as he fixed a loose bandage on his face. He only showed his face around people he trusted absolutely. He didn't know why anonymity was so important to him; it just was. As an afterthought, he added, "I'm sorry if I've put anyone out; I won't stay much longer."  
  
"Where's Mido?"  
  
"Who?"   
  
"The kid who's house you busted into."  
  
"How should I know?"   
  
She shrugged at that, and the light fluttered nearer to him, making the shadows in the small house flicker. It seemed to inspect him critically for a minute, then it wafted back to its master, and the girl's grip on the branch relaxed a bit. I the short span of time following, Sheik found himself drowned in questions.  
  
"Wow, how come you're so tall? Hey! You have red eyes! What's with the red thingy on your chest? How come your clothes are so tight? Did you outgrow them? One of Stella's skirts shrunk once when she washed it, is that what you did? Where's your fairy? What's that stringy thing? Can I hold it? Why not? Aren't you hot with all those bandages? Did you hurt yourself? Can you cross your eyes? I can. See? ...How come you're in Mido's house, anyway? Where'd you come from? How'd you get here? Are you here to kill the monsters? A deku baba almost bit my foot this morning, but I hit it with my stick. You should get a stick or something. How come you're not answering me?"  
  
"You haven't given me the chance!" Sheik snapped, a little sharper than he'd intended. He glanced at her apologetically. If she'd even noticed, she was undaunted.  
  
"What are you, anyway?"  
  
"A sheikah."  
  
She blinked and cocked her head to one side. "What's that?"  
  
"Well...We're a little like hylians."  
  
"What's a hylian?"  
  
Sheik rolled his eyes. [They lead sheltered lives, don't they?] *sigh* "They're....like kokiri, only grown up. You know, taller."  
  
"Like you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What's the difference between hylians and shiekahs, then?"  
  
He winced a little as yet another person butchered his species' name. "There are lots of differences. We just look similar."  
  
"Oh." She stared at the floor for a bit, as if searching for something else to say. Sheik stood and made his way toward the non-existent door. Without warning, the kokiri brought her small branch down to block his path, at a very potentially painful level. Sheik jumped back half a step and gasped at his...near miss.  
  
"Where are you going?" The girl gazed up at him a little more sternly than before.  
  
"I have to get to the Forest Temple."  
  
The light above the girl seemed to jangle softly, and its glow intensified. She looked to the light for a moment, then back at him. "I don't think you can go there."   
  
Another frustrated sigh issued from behind his facial bandages. "I have to; please move."  
  
"You can't go into the Lost Woods, I mean. You'll turn into a monster, and nobody needs that."  
  
"Sheikah are unaffected by such enchantments."  
  
"It's still off limits to outsiders..." The girl paused in her lecture, seeing that the stranger didn't seem to be paying attention to her at all, and was focusing his eyes on something outside.  
  
"Hey, are you listening to me?"  
  
Instead of answering, the tall man simply looked at her a moment, raised a fist to shoulder level, and threw something at the ground. She was fast enough to cover her eyes before the flash of the deku nut blinded her. When she put her arm down, the hut was empty.  
  
"I'm afraid I must insist." came a voice from across the path. She spun to see the sheikah wave to her before he started off for the Lost Woods' entrance. Sheik was mildly amused at the wide-eyed, open-mouthed kokiri as she fumbled for words and ended up just opening and closing her mouth periodically. [At least she stopped talking.]  
  
Coiling his legs under him, Sheik sprang straight upward and hooked his hands over a fence rail to pull himself onto the high ledge that would lead to the woods. He paused to kick the gossip stone nearby.   
  
"The current time is 8:45 a.m. Nice weather for this time of year, isn't it?" Gossip stones were on friendly terms with the sheikahs, their creators, and were always up for idle chatter. It was rumored that the semi-sentient statues were originally meant to act as spies, but apparently, over time they had devolved into little more than chatty clocks. Though they were very fine clocks.  
  
"It's lovely, though we could use some rain." Sheik said as he half walked, half crawled through yet another log tunnel. He emerged in a small clearing; the trees and undergrowth were much thicker here, it looked as if the place hadn't seen a forest fire in centuries. [No wonder it's so easy to get turned around in here...]  
  
"Someone really ought to map this place," Sheik muttered to no one in particular. It was oddly silent for a forest, and a little intimidating. After around half an hour of meandering about in the woods, he realized that, perhaps, coming into the woods without enlisting some sort of guide had been a really stupid idea. [And I was JUST in a kokiri village, too.] While he wouldn't become an unsavory nasty, there were plenty of monsters regardless who would probably adore some filet of sheikah... Having a harp as a weapon didn't do much to ease his fears, either. Nothing had made any attempt to eat or otherwise mangle him so far, though; that was nice.  
  
Wandering in the woods with nothing much to think about made Sheik aware of something else, too. He'd made a long trip the day before, and then slept in his clothes in a tree-hut. He felt icky. Not to misunderstand, he wasn't obsessed with cleanliness, he and Zelda used to play in the mud all the time. However, he was the one who always washed the mud off in the nearest stream or other water source as soon as possible. Stale sweat and the mandatory 'road grime' weren't very comfortable. And it certainly didn't smell that great.  
  
Just as he was beginning to mentally complain about this, he emerged in another clearing, this time with a sort of spring/fountain at one end. [That water sure looks nice...] And it did, especially to someone in need of a bath. He didn't have any soap with him (how many people carry that around with them?), but the water would at least get rid of some of the grit and sweat. [Why not?]   
  
Checking, rechecking, and then checking again to make sure he was alone, Sheik walked back over to the spring and began unwinding his myriad bandages. Then he emptied his void-thing-where-travelers-keep-their-stuff, since it didn't seem to work if the owner wasn't wearing anything. That's physics for you. He set his now-poe-filled bottle, cache of deku nuts, and harp under a conveniently placed tree, along with his coils of bandages. Folding his shirt and body glove, he set those down and gazed at them for a moment, regretting that he wouldn't have time to rinse them out, too. [Oh well, can't have everything...]  
  
The water was unusually warm for a spring, though it was enough to pierce the calm of the forest with a 'brr!' sort of yelp from Sheik. After he got used to the temperature it was rather pleasant. The spring was amazingly deep, too, and had a back wall of sorts made out of granite blocks. [Pretty. I wonder what this was supposed to be...]  
  
He had been in the water for little more than five minutes, and had finally gotten a few sore muscles to relax, when a rustling of the bushes across the clearing made all those poor muscles tense up again, not to mention allowing Sheik to snort a good deal of spring water up his nose. Peeking over the lip of the fountain, he spotted the author of the noise, who was now not twenty feet away. [A skullkid. Shadows! I'm out in the middle of freaking nowhere, and I STILL can't get any privacy!] The skull kid, for his part, appeared to be innocently passing through, and for a minute Sheik thought that if he just stayed quiet, he would go unnoticed.  
  
Luck, however, didn't seem to be running with him. Maybe the gilding of his harp reflected the sunlight, or the red in his clothing stood out against the vegetation. Whatever the reason, the skullkid was nearly to the opposite entrance to the clearing, when he stopped, did a double-take, and decided that whatever it was under that tree deserved closer inspection. So, over he skipped.  
  
With a mental groan, along with some very colorful mental expletives, Sheik took a gulp of air and dunked under the surface to avoid being seen. [Please go away, pleaseohpleaseohplease...There's nothing interesting here; you're going to leave, you're leaving, you're gone. Poof! I guess telepathy isn't my thing.] By this time his lungs were beginning to burn; he hoped that thing wasn't looking in his direction...  
  
*gasp*  
  
...And back under he went. That idiot skullkid was still there, rifling through his belongings as if he owned them. Sheik went through his options. Teleportation was out of the question. No way was he teleporting naked, there just seemed to be something wrong with that, and teleporting under water was generally a bad move under any circumstance, as one had a tendency to drown oneself between here and there. [Hmm...] Meanwhile, the skullkid was staring at the water, trying to work up the gall to check what that sound was. He was sure he'd heard something, and if it was something dangerous, he'd just as soon know what it was. Crawling over to the fountain's edge, he chanced a glance into the water. Much to his surprise and utter terror, he found his gaze matched by a pair of big sanguine eyes staring up at him from below the surface. A moment later, the eyes, and the head attached to them, were above the surface, with generous splashing, soaking the skullkid and leaving his own eyes glowing dim with fear. His pace slowed a bit as he realized that the monster in the spring wasn't a monster at all, even if it WAS a little weird looking.  
  
"Well?" Said a soggy, annoyed, once-again-embarrassed Sheik, arms folded over his chest, and with a look of pure venom on his face.  
  
"...Well what?"  
"Aren't you going to run away screaming now?"  
"Why would I do that?"  
*sigh* [It WORKS on hylians...] "I'm kinda in my skin, here. Could you trouble yourself to scram for a few minutes, at least, while I get dressed?"   
  
The skullkid mulled over this situation, then its eyes glowed brighter. "Mmmmmmmnope. Can't say that I can."  
"Look, pervert, I have somewhere I have to be today. I can't sit here all day."  
  
The sprite ignored him. Instead, the skullkid eyed Sheik's rather worn-looking gilded harp. "Ooooh, purdy. What is it?"  
"It's a harp, leave it alone."  
  
The skullkid's eyes positively sparked at that comment, so he did the only thing any respectable skullkid would do in this scenario. He picked up the harp, and began plucking random strings.  
"I just said don't touch that! Put it down!"  
  
No response.   
  
[I had to go and open my big trap...] "By the thirty-nine exquisite hells of the Fierce One, don't make me come over there!" Sheik's embarrassment was quickly dissolving into rage at seeing his beloved old harp treated so carelessly.  
  
The skullkid was having a grand old time. "Heehee. Nifty sounds...What's with these peg things? Is that how you tune it?" Sheik was just about to issue another slew of threats regarding the un-requested tuning of his instrument, when...  
  
*SNAPoing!* With a little musical groan of anguish, one of the thinner strings gave out under the tension of the peg Skullkid was fiddling with. For Sheik, that was the straw that broke the bale. Indecent or not, his harp was in pain, and he'd be damned if he was going to let some punk forest imp vandalize his stuff right in front of him.  
  
"I SAID 'PUT IT DOWN', AND I MEANT PUT IT DOWN! NOW!" Leaping from the spring with a roar, Sheik probably scared a few years off the poor imp's semi-mortal life right there. He looked seriously un-amused, and that was about the time the skullkid decided that he'd had enough of playing with the crazy blond man's harp. Setting the instrument in question very gently on the ground, the imp took off in the opposite direction as fast as its stick-like legs would carry it. [Hooligan...]  
  
Giving his harp a thorough going-over, Sheik decided that that broken string and some scratches in the already-chipping gilding were the worst of the injuries it had sustained. Getting dressed and replacing his 'valuables' in that-void-thing-etc., he resumed his search for that darn temple.  
  
[You'd think something as big as a temple would be easier to find.] He was rewarded for his aimless meandering about forty minutes later, when he finally found the Sacred Forest Meadow more or less by accident. [About time.] Grinning triumphantly, Sheik ventured out into the clover, heading towards what appeared to be some kind of roofless hallway.  
  
*AROOOOOO!*  
  
[@%#$%!] Sheik spun on his heel just in time to see a wolfos dash out from the underbrush. The lupine circled Sheik predatorily and with a certain primal smugness at finding an unarmed traveler all alone.  
  
[What else could go wrong today?]  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry this took so long, and it's still short. This isn't a bad stopping place for this chapter, though. ;) The next one'll deal with the temple (finally!), and probably some other stuff. 


	7. If anyone can't remember a two-measure s...

Yeesh. I keep letting this slide too long. I WILL get it done. Eventually. ^_^;  
  
  
  
*ka-BONG*  
  
His harp, despite his over protectiveness, could withstand just about any stress or torture inflicted upon it, and whacking an overzealous wolfos into submission was right up its alley. Too bad the same couldn't be said for its owner. Sheik was wearing out fast; he'd kept up a steady barrage of vaguely musical attacks whenever the animal came within swinging range for over ten minutes without doing much damage. He just couldn't get at the blasted thing's back, and thocking it in the skull didn't seem to be doing much good.   
  
"Had enough...*pant*...yet?"  
  
Diverting his attention to his only plausible means of escape, Sheik tried to find a relatively easy-to-memorize high ledge. The ones walling in the maze were sadly non-descript, but they would have to do. The one on the right had a vine growing along its side, and Sheik quickly tore his eyes away from the predator to study it for a moment.  
  
*growl*  
  
Catching movement in his peripheral vision, Sheik whipped his harp up to block the wolfos' lunge, nearly knocking him down, and that would have been disastrous. The wolfos seemed to sense its prey tiring out, and was steadily making its attacks stronger, less playful in nature. It was an excellent strategist, Sheik had to give it that much credit, but he had an ace up his proverbial sleeve. Swiping at it to buy time and a little room, Sheik tried to let himself relax enough to slip into the void, not an easy task considering he had a hundred-fifty pound carnivore leering at him as if trying to decide what bits to eat first. Focusing his concentration on what the ledge and vine looked like, Sheik could feel himself melting into the void, slower than usual, since he was panicked. It was oddly comforting.  
  
He saw it before his mind realized what was going on. The wolfos had seen its meal for the next few days slipping away....somewhere other than where the wolfos could get at it, and leapt for the sheikah's throat. Sheik's concentration was broken, but by that time he was far enough gone for the void to pull him in on its own. He caught the light glinting off of the beast's sickle claws, and was almost immediately enveloped in cool darkness.  
  
It was when he noticed he was just floating there that his heart leapt into his nearly removed throat again.   
  
[Goddesses, what did that ledge look like?!]  
  
He was quickly losing his momentum, as it were, and the longer one remained in the void, the harder it was to get out again. Besides that, it was actually rather on the frigid side in there (or out there, depends on how you look at it). For a few moments, it was cool and comfortable, but longer than that, and one's body heat was siphoned away by the empty space.   
  
[I could freeze in here....]   
  
Angry at himself for losing the image like that, and even more peeved that he was falling to pieces mentally about it, Sheik forced himself to recall his destination. A fleeting moment of indecision and some much chillier appendages later, he had it. More or less. Putting the image in the front of his thoughts, he willed himself to "move". Relief washed over him as the familiar sensation of reentry made itself known.  
  
[Beautiful.]  
  
Then it stopped. Sheik suddenly found himself squished between two planes. He could see the ledge, though it was extremely blurry and distorted. Eyes don't function quite properly when they're in more than one dimension at once. [@#$%, I'm caught!] Looking at the ledge before him as best he could, he tried to pull himself from his dimensional snag; after a fearful bit of struggling, he managed to drop down to the well-earned perch, all particles present and accounted for.  
  
"Phew! You were too much trouble, you know that, dog?" He said drowsily, gazing down at the confused and frustrated wolfos. "I could do with a short nap, but you've taken up so much time, I'll be lucky if he's not here yet." The wolfos really couldn't care less about Sheik's scheduling ordeals, all it knew was that the odd looking animal that it had ALMOST taken down was now out of reach, and it was still hungry. Casting a final dour glare at the one that got away, the wolfos trotted back into the underbrush to continue its hunt.  
  
A little shaky from his mishap in the void, Sheik avoided the moblins, or "glorified bacon", as they were affectionately known, by walking along the tops of the maze walls, jumping when he needed to. Waiting for the last goon to walk by, he hopped onto the ground and darted up the awkwardly small steps leading into a narrow corridor. And, as luck would have it, an unusually sizable moblin with an equally sizable club nearly filled the width of the hallway.  
  
"Well, doodlebugs..." Whether it had just seen Sheik, or its miniscule brain had finally recognized the moving purplish object to be a person, was moot. Sheik was abruptly knocked several feet back to land in an exceedingly undignified position on the ground when the pig-guard slammed his club against the ground, sending visible shock waves rippling through the dirt. However, its simpleness was its undoing, as anyone with two brain cells to rub together (both of which the moblin was sadly lacking) could figure out that to avoid the waves, all one had to do was run in a zig-zag, and then slip past the guard, since he was too cumbersome to turn around in there. All of this, Sheik did without hesitation. He wanted to get this over with. Ahead, the Sacred Forest Meadow could be seen, and in it, the ruinous Forest Temple.  
  
[Finally! And no sign of him yet; goddesses, I'm good.]   
  
Climbing a nearby tree, Sheik nestled himself amongst the branches and dozed. He was tired. Completely bushed, but the hard part was done with; all he had to do was teach Link the warp song and he could get out of there. He tried to decide what to do first once he got home: sleep, eat, or take a bath. All three possibilities seemed rather high-priority...  
  
[That must be him now...]  
  
The pained bellows of a dying moblin announced Link's arrival just as well as any fanfare. [Well, what's the point of having a sword if you don't use it, I suppose...] Link tentatively stepped out into the clearing, shield strapped to his arm and sword at the ready. Flecks of blood and ichor graced his clothing and countenance; it must not have been a clean kill...  
  
[Here goes nothing.] Sheik dropped from the tree he was occupying to stand before a surprised Link. [You'd think he'd expect things like this...] Sheik cleared his throat and began.   
  
"The flow of time is always cruel...[Tell me about it...]  
Its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it... [Well, technically...]  
A thing that doesn't change with time is a memory of younger days... [Unless, of course, you have Alzheimer's...]  
In order to come back here again, play the Minuet of Forest." Taking out his slightly battered harp, and trying to ignore the broken string, Sheik picked out the notes of the song, which was actually rather on the short side to be considered a song at all... Link copied the pitches, and, after hitting a few bum notes, managed to get it right. They ran through the melody a couple more times to make sure Link remembered it. [No reason not to, it's only two measures long...]   
  
With that, Sheik backed up a few steps and called a deku nut into his hand.  
  
"Link...  
I'll see you again..."  
  
During the flash, Sheik teleported back to his home in Kakariko, leaving a puzzled Link standing in front of the Forest Temple. 


	8. Ahh, the joys of sleep-deprivation.

I really don't know how Jo keeps conning me into going to these stupid church lock-ins with her. I'm not even Baptist....All the crying and insincere religious ecstasy really creeps me out...Ah well. I guess Tammy and Tiff are going, so it won't be so bad...We can all complain together! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was mid-afternoon, so the village was fairly calm. The house was empty, apparently. Impa and Zelda must have left to run some errands, or something. Good. Sheik wasn't in the mood for conversation, especially since Impa hadn't had a chance to deliver her lecture yet, and he was much too tired to pay any attention to her anyway, which would probably get him into even more trouble. Stumbling up the steps to his little room in the loft, Sheik scrounged around until he found a change of clothes and some soap. There was a thermal spring near Death Mountain that Zelda had found about three years prior, and, by the goddesses, he was going to get a decant bath if it killed him.  
  
Slipping out the back door to avoid any hylians who were out, Sheik slipped out of the village and into the copse on the northwestern side of the gate. The spring was in a shallow enclave in the rock, very convenient for holding in the heat. Sheik let himself soak for nearly an hour, falling asleep twice and coming dangerously close to drowning himself. Deciding that that was a subtle hint to finish up, he scrubbed at his hair and skin with the slightly unpleasantly gritty soap, rinsed off the suds, climbed out, and let himself dry in the sun for a few minutes before putting on the loose cotton breeches, hand-me-down shirt and pitifully worn-out sandals he'd brought with him. Taking another half-hour to wash his blue outfit and bandages, Sheik hung them on a nearby branch to dry; he could come back for them in a few hours.  
  
Feeling considerably cleaner (and a clean sheikah is a happy sheikah), Sheik took his time walking home to admire the sunset. It was really quite lovely, though the view wasn't as good as it was in Taranis... Oh well; he'd always wanted to travel... Sheik tried to dispel this unexpected wave of homesickness by thinking about something else: food. Maybe Impa or Zelda had dinner ready... Maybe just Impa had dinner ready... Zelda was a competent young woman, but no one can be good at everything, and the only nice thing Sheik had to say about her cooking was that it was usually better than his. The sole reason Sheik didn't prepare his own meals most of the time was simple: he never ate poison. ...They had to be back by now...but then...why was the house so dark? [Hmmmm....Now, that's odd...]   
  
It was at about that time that Sheik got one of those weird little sparks of intuition. There was no reason why Impa and Zelda should be out that late, was there? Sheik thought back to a few days ago, trying to remember whether either Impa or Zelda had said anything about taking a trip somewhere, or visiting so-and-so. No...nothing... And there was that nagging feeling that something wasn't quite kosher.   
  
[It's probably nothing... They just lost track of the time, or got invited to dinner, or something...]  
  
But it was difficult to convince himself of that theory. He rested his hand on the door handle momentarily as the standard worst-case scenario flashed through his mind. Had they been run out of town? Killed? ...Arrested? "No," he said aloud, more to comfort himself with the sound of a voice than anything. [I'm just over-tired and overreacting.] With that, he took a breath and gently opened the door, unconsciously steeling himself for a gory crime scene to unfold before him. He stood still in the doorway, taking it all in.  
  
[It's....]  
  
Untouched. Everything was just as he had left it the day before, if not a bit cleaner. [Well, that rules out a break-in, at least.] Unfortunately, it didn't rule out much else. He wasn't too worried about Impa, which may sound ungrateful, but she could take care of herself. Zelda, however, just might let something slip...Not that she ever had, but still...  
  
[I'm acting like an old hylian...] Slightly flustered, Sheik walked out to the small kitchen/dining room/parlor. The kitchinglor. Rummaging through the cupboard, he came up with a hunk of bread, some butter, and a flask of goat's milk that... *sniff* ....smelled okay...but it wouldn't keep for very much longer.  
  
[Better than what I've been eating, I guess.] It wasn't a meal, per se, but Sheik was too anxious over the ladies' absence to be very disappointed by his makeshift supper. [If they're not back by the time I wake up, I'll go out and look for them.] That decided and his bread and milk finished, Sheik set about searching for some kind of note that one of them may have left for him. Not that he expected to find anything; notes were dangerous if anyone other than the three refugees got a hold of one... Seeking long and arduously and finding nothing, Sheik resigned himself to sleep, and stumbled upstairs.  
  
Flopping down on his bed, he was asleep almost immediately. As he drifted off, he reassured himself of his "family's" safety a final time. [They're all right; I'm just forgetting something because I'm tired...]   
  
*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*  
  
Sheik hadn't been asleep for more than a few paltry hours when he was rudely jolted awake by the sound of someone pounding on the door. His heart raced. [Who could that be at this ungodly hour...?] But he already knew who it had to be. [Best answer them before they force the door off its hinges...] Even so, it was surprisingly difficult for Sheik to stand up, walk downstairs, and open the door. Yet somehow, he managed. He paused by the door for a moment to calm down a bit and assume his "game face".  
  
The stern faces of a three-man patrol in full armor just about ruined Sheik's act, and it took every ounce of control he had to look calm and unafraid. He hoped to Nayru that they hadn't noticed that he was shaking like a leaf in the breeze, and tried to keep his voice steady as he greeted them.   
  
"Good evening, officers," He stammered just a little, hopefully they were as tired as he was. "Is there a problem?"   
  
The officer nearest to him glared down at him, and if he was trying to hide his contempt for the carmine-eyed villager before him, he certainly wasn't trying very hard.  
  
[Yeah, I love you too, Hylian traitor.] Sheik thought bitterly, praying that he couldn't tell how disgusted Sheik was. "Can I help you with something?" Sheik repeated, getting a bit nervous at the fact that they were just standing there watching him, or studying him... [I could tell you where to put that spear, if that's what you're confused over...]  
  
Without answering or even looking at him, the taller man shoved past Sheik into the main room of the house, his two subordinates following and closing the door behind them. [That's not good...] Sheik struggled with the little bits of his brain screaming at him to either attack or run like hell; the worst thing he could do was put up any resistance, or even look like he was thinking about thinking of putting up resistance. He caught himself glaring at the lead officer; thank Din the man's back was turned. The man gazed around the room, making a subtle gesture with his hand. The remaining two drones moved between Sheik and both the front door and the hallway. [Good monkeys.]  
  
[Get ON with it...] The hylian didn't speak right away, instead walking through the room, idly toying with the sparse wall hangings and furniture woodwork. [Live to work, I see.] While the majority of hylians did as they were told reluctantly out of an intense fear of their conquerors, a few took to the new regime like rats to bilge water. This turncoat obviously enjoyed terrorizing the populace, savoring every moment like a fine wine, giving his victims ample time to metaphorically turn to jelly. And Sheik had to admit, he wasn't doing a bad job of that... Finally, he met Sheik's eyes and spoke.  
  
"Well, we've been a bit rude, haven't we? I expect my men and I have woken you and everything," he extended a hand to Sheik, who hesitatingly gave it a quick shake, afterwards inconspicuously wiping his hand on his breeches. The polite apology had caught him completely off guard. The man continued. "I'm Captain Dominic, and you are...?" His face had softened into a businesslike smile, but the playful malice in his eyes bespoke cruelty and ruthlessness underneath the faux amiability.   
  
[Be polite...] "Sheik, sir." It sounded too much like an alias...  
"And your surname?" Dominic thought he had Sheik trapped now.  
[Saw that coming....Goddesses, think of something, quick!] He had no surname that he knew of, and that was dangerously unusual. He could feel Dominic staring at him, and it wasn't helping him think. "Arracht." Okay, so it wasn't the best he could have come up with, but it was the first thing to pop into his head.  
  
Dominic quirked an eyebrow. "How poetic." He paced a bit more, feigning contemplation.  
  
[What, aren't you going to ask me my star sign?] Sheik knew how tired he was, and he was certain Dominic could see his exhaustion as well. He had hoped that Dominic would be a poor interrogator, but those hopes were beginning to fade in the face of the man's poise and cool calm. [Better pay attention...]  
  
"So, who else lives here?" Dominic said suddenly, turning to pin Sheik with that icy gaze of his.  
  
[Is this a trick question?] Sheik's worry over Zelda and Impa came back with a vengeance. [Do they know? Is he just playing with me...?] Deciding that if he was, or if it was a test of some kind, he'd be screwed however he answered; Sheik decided to stick as close to the "truth" as possible. "My aunt and cousin. ...They're visiting family...in...Elmvale." The town was close enough to allow for their sudden return, but far enough away to assure him that no one would ask about them or go looking for confirmation. Hopefully they wouldn't waltz through the door in the next five minutes.  
  
"So...that leaves you to hold down the fort, eh?"  
"Erm...Yes, sir." [Where is this going...?]  
"Would you mind showing us around?" Dominic grinned in what was supposed to be a casual manner.  
"Why?" Sheik immediately cursed himself. That was the wrong thing to say. [Idiot!] Apparently Dominic agreed with that sentiment, and in what was as graceful a movement as a hylian was capable of, he closed the distance between them and cuffed Sheik over the ear with a gauntleted wrist. While Sheik was still dizzy from the blow, Dominic caught hold of Sheik's jaw in one hand, forcing him, rather roughly, to make eye contact. [Ow...] That really made Sheik's blood boil, but he knew better than to fight back...Though Dominic's face was temptingly within spitting range... [I could nail him right in the eye, point blank...]   
  
Dominic regained his composure and gave Sheik a bit of that glare he'd worn when he first came in. "We're just making sure everything's all right here," he explained coolly. "We've gotten some reports of some suspicious sheikahs living here, and it's our duty to check these things out. You know how jittery folks are these days," he sneered, "I'm simply making sure the village is hunky-dory and normal, that's all. It's my job to protect the citizens from criminals and radicals; checking for monsters in the closet." He smiled at his unintentional pun before tightening his grip on Sheik's face and continuing. "So, just give us the grand tour, quell our fears, sate our curiosity, and we'll be on our way." He pushed Sheik away from him and motioned for his men to keep an eye on their disgruntled tour guide.  
  
Sheik rubbed his sore face and, sighing, bade them follow him. After they had poked about the front room to their hearts' content, Sheik led them into the kitchen. "And if you'll look to your left, you'll see a lovely pile of dishes. I'll take care of those later..." Sheik was finding it nigh impossible to keep the venom from dripping into his voice. The patrolmen peeked in cupboards, felt under tables and counters and sorted through the bookcase. [Or, you could just make yourselves at home and turn the place upside-down, whatever blows your hair back...] He made a displeased click in his throat that he disguised as a cough.  
  
Ten minutes of snooping later, Dominic herded his men to the next doorway, and gestured for Sheik to "lead on". Next up was Impa and Zelda's room. While the two nameless thugs practically dismantled the beds and emptied the bureaus, Dominic walked over to Zelda's nightstand, and, taking the pictograph he found there, returned to stand next to Sheik. It was a bit bleached from sunlight, but it was clearly a family portrait of sorts. Sheik wondered why she had the boldness to have anything like that out for all the world to see. [Guess she thought it made the place more home-ish...]  
  
Dominic seemed intrigued by it. "Is this one you?" he asked nonchalantly, pointing at Sheik's likeness standing on the left side of the picture.   
  
[Well, I can't see how I could be either of the two WOMEN in the picture...] "Yes, sir."  
"And the tall one is you aunt, I assume?"  
"Yes, sir."  
"What's her name?"  
"Olga ....Wakefield, sir." He wasn't about to give Impa's real name. Neither of them; she was too well known.  
"So, that's your cousin? She looks almost hylian..." Dominic smiled, admiring the girl in the picture, but admiring how well his search was going even more.  
  
Sheik was thankful he'd given Impa a hylian surname. "She is half hylian, sir."  
  
Dominic's lip curled in distaste. "And....her name is..."  
"Ze-Zoe, sir."  
  
Dominic gave Sheik a sidelong glance. "She's very pretty."  
"Thank you sir. We think so."  
"...She almost looks like the late princess, wouldn't you say?"  
[Sloppy...] Sheik was ready for that one. "She'd be very flattered to hear that, sir."  
  
Giving up on the pictograph, an undoubtedly frustrated Captain Dominic continued the search, going through the closets and Sheik's room with similar luck. At length, they came back to the front room and prepared to leave. "Well, thank you for your cooperation, Sheik. Maybe we'll see each other around the village, eh?" He ruffled Sheik's hair in a brotherly fashion. Sheik managed a strained smile. [Maybe not, and thanks for messing up my home, Cap'n.]  
  
Dominic made for the door after his companions had already left. "Sorry for the inconvenience; let's see if we can't stop making the hylians nervous, hmm?" [Translation: I'm watching you.]  
  
With that, Dominic shut the door, and Sheik was alone again. Collapsing into a chair near the kitchen window, he tried to stop himself shivering to no avail. That was too much. He took some deep breaths and ran his fingers through his hair.   
  
[That's it. They've officially been gone too long.]   
  
Waiting a few minutes to make sure the patrol was far enough away, Sheik silently crept out the back door, and had soon disappeared among the rooftops of Kakariko.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The chapters are slowly getting longer! I swear it! A small note: the "pun" about the monsters in the closet refers to Sheik's fake last name. "Arracht" translates to "monster" in Irish. Voila! 


	9. No rest for the weary. Thanks a lot, Ze...

Okay, I know I don't update this often, but it's fourth term, and finals are coming up, one of which is for drama, so I'm working on memorizing lines and getting the set ready. Other than that, which eats up all my time, colorguard is starting again, so I'm spending a lot of time in clinics helping with the newbies. Ay, caramba....  
  
  
  
  
  
*grumble, mutter, random sheikan obscenities*  
  
In his haste, Sheik had forgotten to put any shoes on, and the shingled rooftops were reminding him of his folly at every step.   
  
[Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow...]  
  
Forsaking the safety of the less-traveled area of Kakariko for the soft grass and dirt of the alleyways, Sheik dropped over a storm gutter and slipped into the shadows made by the buildings. He mulled over likely places to begin his search. He was certain they wouldn't just show up walking through the streets, but where could they have gone? That was what he didn't want to think about too much. His mind kept picturing the dungeons of Castletown, or the river under Death Mountain, or the bottom of the River Zora, and other such unpleasant images. He pushed those thoughts from his mind as best he could, moving more or less in the direction of the graveyard.   
  
[As good a place to start as any...]   
  
Daring to walk instead of the usual "slink", Sheik gazed up at the sky, admiring the few bright stars that could make themselves seen despite the moon. The was the Huntress, and the Sight, the Goat, the Guardian, and the Wol-  
  
*Slam!*  
  
"Ugh!" Looking at the stars, Sheik had let his guard down for a minute, uncharacteristic, but true. He found himself jolted out of his reverie by his back being suddenly set, quite forcefully, against a wall, knocking the wind out of him and stunning him momentarily. With bleary vision, he could make out a dark shape that he assumed to be hylian.   
  
The shape spoke. "'Ere, now! Ain't it a mite late for walkin'? Hmm?"  
  
Sheik noticed, with much dismay, that there was a cold, metallic something pressed against his neck. Deciding to play it safe, he tried to pacify the mugger. "I don't have any money..." He stifled a gasp as the dagger bit into the skin of his neck.  
  
"Now, that's a real shame." For an instant, a white smile glinted in the dim light.   
  
[Okay....You're a nutcase.....I think I'm scared now...] "......Uh......So.....y-you can just.....let me go now, and....I'll be on my way...." Once again, Sheik cursed his own thoughtlessness in not bringing a weapon...again. He didn't even have his harp.  
  
The scruffy vagabond sniggered at that. "Hoy! Should I, now? You say you ain't got nothin'....Wot be I wastin' my time on you for?" He seemed a bit reluctant to have spent valuable attacking...energy... on a rupeeless whelp who had the audacity to not only walk carelessly through a dark alley without any valuables to lure unsuspecting criminals, but also to speak to him in that condescending tone he loathed. He wasn't a moron.....  
  
[I don't know, maybe to learn how to speak Common? Goddesses! Why didn't I bring my whip, or needles, or a rock-something?!] "I....wouldn't know....." He was getting the feeling that this loon wasn't going to just let go and say 'Well, I guess you can just run along.' He was going to have to get tough. He quickly looked for any discrepancies in his attacker that could be exploited... [....He has me pinned all wrong...] And he did. Mr. Scum, Dredge of Society extraordinaire, had Sheik held against the wall with his right arm and left shoulder, while also keeping Sheik lifted slightly off the ground. Also, his thoughts seemed to be wandering slightly; Sheik saw his chance and took it.   
  
Curling his legs to his chest, Sheik gave Mr. Mugger a nasty double kick right in the collarbone. As he stumbled back a few paces, Sheik sprang forward and gave him another roundhouse kick smack dab in the kisser. It was lights-out for Mr. Mugger, who had been relieved of a tooth by Sheik's final blow. Intent on putting as much distance between himself and the now-unconscious vagabond sprawled in the alley, Sheik took to the shadows again and slipped through the village as quickly as stealth would allow.   
  
In ten minutes time, he found himself at the entrance to the graveyard. The scent of damp earth pervaded the air. It was reverently quiet, and while to most Kakarikoans the place was avoided like the plague, Sheik found it calming, but then most sheikah have a bit of a soft spot for cemeteries. Instinctively and mechanically he wandered towards the back of the graveyard. Impa sometimes went to the temple back there, though never before at night, and never with Zelda. Princess or not, the place was taboo. But if she had to hide somewhere....what better place?  
  
Clambering up the steep slope that kept the entrance hidden and inaccessible to unwanted visitors, Sheik looked upon the unadorned hole carved into the hillside. [Breathtaking, as always....] With a small sigh, he entered the front lobby, which was little more than a shrine by its size. A large circular design was inlaid on the floor, and was surrounded by myriad torches and candles. Normally, the central torch was lit at all times, but over the course of a very unpleasant seven years, someone had allowed the flame to go out. That was rather sad.  
  
[I wonder what happened to the priestess...]  
  
Sheik was once again rudely interrupted from his thoughts when a pinkish blur tackled him to the ground. Too stunned to even scream, he lay, wide-eyed and shivering, while the pinkish blur-turned hylian laughed at him.  
  
"Some sheikah you are, if I had a knife you'd be toast by now!"  
"Zelda! A simple 'hello' would have scared me enough, thanks..."  
"You're so jumpy!"   
  
It was then that Zelda noticed a rather nasty-looking bruise forming on the side of Sheik's face. "Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't hurt you, did I?" Her tone had shifted from jesting to one of sisterly worry as she tried to evaluate the damage in the dim light.   
  
Sheik gently but impatiently shoved her to one side as he stood up. "No, it happened earlier; I've had worse." It wasn't entirely true, Zelda's overenthusiastic greeting had been rather painful to someone already sore from several days worth of ill-treatment, but Sheik was sure she wasn't feeling that great either. Besides, what kind of sheikah whines about a few bruises? And scrapes, and unaligned joints, and a splitting headache, and being overtired, and hunger, and..... Well, what kind of sheikah whines, anyway...?   
  
"Don't worry about it, but you have some explaining to do." He tried to look stern. "You can start with why you were here while I was back at the house, getting white hairs worrying over you two."  
  
  
  
  
  
I know, it's very short. I'm kinda busy, so be happy for what I have done.... 


	10. A serious interlude. Darn you, Zelda...

No, I haven't forgotten about this fic....  
  
  
  
  
Zelda's face darkened.   
  
[Oh no...What happened......?]  
  
{I.....I really don't know...} A sudden wave of emotions followed Zelda's projected thought, catching Sheik unawares as he was overcome by confusion, fear, loneliness, and grief. He saw Zelda sink to the temple floor and felt himself do the same simultaneously. He felt tears running down his face unbidden as he saw Zelda's shoulders shudder with quiet sobs.   
  
[Zel. Zelda! Please calm down!] He hated having his emotions controlled like they were now. Zelda wasn't doing it intentionally, but if he didn't think of a way to distract her so he could regain control over himself, he might give over to her completely and cry right there on the floor for hours-until Zelda regained her composure and let him go. He tried to recall some sort of pleasant emotion to project to her, but it seemed like nothing had existed before what he was consumed by now. Then, as if by its own volition, it struck him.   
  
The void. With leaden limbs, he crawled over to where Zelda was still in the midst of a nervous breakdown and laid a hand on her arm. She barely noticed. As a psychic, her emotions could sometimes be so strong they blotted out everything else; she was literally trapped within her own mind. Sheik pictured the front room of the house, since it was the only one the patrol hadn't ransacked, and tried to relax. After a fruitless five minutes, the pair was swallowed in nothingness.   
  
{*gasp*} Shocked out of her trance by the sudden absence of warmth, light, matter....well, pretty much everything, Zelda started to panic. But Sheik had bought the time he needed to wrest his mind away from the bereaved princess.  
  
[It's all right, Zel.] She loosened a bit at the reassurance. Keeping up a steady stream of pleasant emotions and memories to keep her calm, Sheik felt them materialize in the house, the first sensation being scent, as usual, followed closely by sight, sound, and lastly, touch as their feet hit the ground. Funny how he'd never noted the order of those things before. [Maybe it's because I'm traveling with Zelda...] It was certain she was very powerful, though the nature and extent of her powers was unknown by anyone, especially Zelda herself. This was apparent now, as he saw her slumped on the wooden floor, dazed, swimming in soothing memories and dreams. They were Sheik's memories and dreams, but he didn't mind sharing most of them; after all, she was in a rather pathetic state.  
  
Gently, he lifted her shaking frame off the floor and set her in a chair near the empty fireplace. He noticed that she was shivering not only out of shock, but also out of cold; she was clad in just her white cotton nightshift. Darting into Impa's and her bedroom, he snatched the blanket off of Impa's bed, then rushed back and wrapped it around Zelda's shoulders and arms. Then, he kneeled beside her, watching her face intently for any sign of change. Gradually, he felt her reassert herself, and he was smoothly shoved from her mind.  
  
Choosing now to speak in words, Sheik broke the uncomfortable silence. "Are you all right, Zelda?"  
  
The princess of Hyrule gazed straight into the eyes of her protector and confidant of seven years for a few moments before answering. "Yes, Sheik. Thank you." She sighed as she curled up in the chair. She looked worn, strained. Sheik stood to find her something to eat, but she suddenly clutched at his hand and looked pleadingly up at him. She looked almost as she had when they had met: a frightened little girl with no idea under heaven what was going on. Sheik wondered what had her so scared. "You're weak, Zel; you need to at least drink some water."  
  
She shook her head. "Not thirsty."  
  
"Zel..."  
  
"It can wait!" She silently apologized for sounding so sharp, then gestured for him to sit. Even in this state she was as regal as ever. Sheik pulled another chair close to hers, spun it around backwards, and sat with his arms resting on the back. After waiting a few minutes that seemed to take a lifetime to let her collect herself, he managed to whisper: "What happened?"  
  
Zelda sighed again. "It's very embarrassing. I shouldn't be so frantic about it, but..." She was in no mood for talking about what had happened, so instead she beckoned Sheik to lean closer, then she rested her hands on Sheik's temples and closed her eyes. Sheik did the same. To a casual observer, the two were more than a little comical: one, a shivering maiden in her nightgown with her eyes shut and her hands firmly pressed against the forehead of her companion; and the companion, a scruffy-looking youth leaning forward over the back of a chair, hands held in a similar fashion, eyes closed, and with several scrapes and bruises. Precious few could have known or inferred that the impoverished villagers were in actuality Princess Zelda Harkinian and her loyal sheikan warrior, Sheik, apprentice to Impa, and that they were at that moment sharing a memory of the events that had transpired earlier in the day.  
  
Seldom had either Sheik or Zelda projected a memory to the other with such vividness; it was really more of a flashback, with both of them reliving it together, yet unable to communicate while it lasted. Sheik softly gasped as he found himself inside the consciousness of Zelda, looking down at her arms instead of his own as the memory began, thinking the same thoughts she had in those moments, yet knowing he was separate from them, a bystander.  
  
{This was at around four in the morning.} Zelda informed him before she too lost the ability to think outside her memory. 


	11. The flashback aka 'Sitting a long time w...

Curse band boot camp! Curse it I say! And curse the flute section, with their ceaseless cries of: "And this one time, at band camp...^_^ Tee hee!" Oh, how I loathe August. T_T()  
  
  
  
  
  
The memory lost its dreamlike quality as it played out...  
  
Sitting up, Zelda looked about the dark, quiet room. She was still half-asleep, but something had woken her. What was it, though... A noise? Or rather, the absence of noise. Impa's soft (as soft as the growl of a bear can be) snores couldn't be heard from the bed across from hers. Sighing, Zelda hoisted herself out of bed to investigate. She wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now, anyway.  
  
"Too earrrrly..." She groaned as she shuffled across the cold hardwood, looking like some tormented apparition, with wild, tangled hair and an all-around droopy expression. Teenagers' circadian rhythms are such that most are not fond of morning, and Zelda was sound proof of this, oh, yes indeedy.  
  
"Impaaaaa, what are you doing?" She managed to grumble out in a most un-princesslike fashion as she entered the small kitchen/parlor....thing. Klivingchen. But Impa only glanced up, gave Zelda a warm, loving, entirely uncharacteristic smile, and went back to strapping on her armor: shoulder guards, breastplate, gauntlets, shin guards, et cetera. Then, slipping her dirk into its sheath, she replaced the floorboards over the cunning hole from whence the armor came, crushed Zelda in a brief hug, gave her a light peck on the forehead, and blithely strolled out the back door.   
  
By now, of course, our hylian heroine had become a bit more lucid, and the curiousness of these recent events she found most puzzling. {What.......................was THAT all about?} Acting more on premonition than logical thought, as was her custom, she quietly but quickly followed, catching a glimpse of white hair and violet clothing just as her guardian disappeared around the corner of the next-door house. Running to catch up, Zelda shadowed Impa as they made their way east through the village, sticking to the dark places, and finally running while looking almost straight up, since Impa had decided to take to the rooftops. {What is it with sheikahs and climbing over things?} she thought exasperatedly.   
  
Then, without warning, Impa dropped from an eave and padded across the town square, Zelda not far behind. Impa seemed oblivious to the world, and Zelda was so engrossed in not loosing track of the woman that she was a bit shocked to discover that they had entered the graveyard. It was all rather picturesque, in that morbid, grotesque sort of way. Curling, damp mist laid near the ground, blanketing and all but obscuring from view the weathered and mildewed headstones, the moping, stunted trees, the sickly and pale vegetation. Zelda shivered a little, having nothing more than a cotton nightgown as protection from the elements, not to mention the general creepiness of the area.  
  
{She never prays at this time of day...and you don't need to be armed to the absolute TEETH for that, anyway. I wonder what she's doing... I hope she hasn't gone mad...} Up the steep hill at the very northernmost edge of the cemetery Impa sprang, Zelda scrambling and toiling behind her. Impa really must have been in a trance, or she just didn't care, because Zelda was making all sorts of betraying noises as she fought her way up the slope.   
  
When Zelda reached to door to the shrine, she was amazed to find every last torch and candle lit, sending blazing light into all but the far corners of the room, casting a warm glow over the carvings on the walls and the intricate gold inlay on the floor. In the center of the inlay stood Impa, before the central torch, with her back facing the entrance. {Wait...isn't that space sacred? I thought no one was allowed to walk on that.} She recalled both Impa and Sheik's past admonitions regarding the beautiful circular design wrought in gold into the very stones of the floor. It was an alter. No feet, save those of the priest or priestess keeping the flame, were to touch it. To do so was sacrilege. But here was Impa, who was certainly no priestess, tromping right through the middle of it... Trying to unravel the meaning behind her guardian's very very very unusual behavior, Zelda became aware of something else. You know, the way you become aware of a hard, blunt object just as you smack your head against it. A terrible grinding and scraping came from the north wall, and then....THEN....a very unexpected thing occurred.  
  
Doors slid open. From an unassuming fissure in the wall, two doors slid back along unseen tracks, making loud protest the entire way. Zelda unintentionally did a spectacular and convincing impression of a fish out of water and gasping for air. Impa sedately watched, as though it was an everyday occurrence, until the whole tunnel behind the doors was exposed.  
  
"Impa?"  
  
No response. And then Impa walked in.  
  
"Impa!" Dashing unheedingly across the gold inlay, she dove towards the doors, pulling herself back just in time as the doors slammed shut with impossible speed for things that heavy, nearly catching her nose and making an unbearable CRACK! as they met. Uncovering her ears as the last deafening echoes died away, she stared at the closed portal before her.   
  
*whoosh*  
  
The shrine was plunged into blackness as the myriad torches and candles were simultaneously and miraculously snuffed out by a chill gust of wind. Then stillness.   
  
Numb with shock, Zelda turned and gazed at the smoke twisting up from the extinguished candles, then back to the doorway, finding it from memory though it was now only a mere crack running up the wall. She fingered the seal, knowing she couldn't open it again; whatever was back there, it obviously hadn't invited HER in. But Impa...Impa had gone through, and was now totally out of reach. And her actions earlier... The surrealism of it all, the inexplicability, was mind-boggling. She came to the conclusion that she was dreaming, and pinched herself.  
  
"................Ow..." she whined quietly as she blinked and found herself, not in her bed in Kakariko, but still in the shrine, and now with what was going to be a bruise on her left forearm. Zelda's lip began to quiver as she stood alone in the darkness.  
  
"I'm having a bad day.....!" She wanted to cry, no, to the dark realm with wussy crying, she wanted to SCREAM! She wanted to scream and scream and scream her frustration and fear until her poor little hylian lungs went POP from the pressure. Finding herself too tired and weak to follow through with this whim, however, she contented herself to sink to the floor and stare at her own lap.  
  
And stare.  
  
And stare.  
  
And, just for a change of pace, stare for a bit.  
  
The memory skipped and sped up randomly as the uneventful parts of the day transpired. Sometimes she'd start crying. She lay down and dozed fitfully for a few hours. Boring.  
  
After a bit, the memory skipped on to the middle of the night, when, at the height of Zelda's despair, who should come slinking through the entrance but that loveable masked minstrel: Sheik. Zelda was so dazed she hadn't noticed him right away, but her relief at seeing a familiar figure was nearly overwhelming.   
  
Good ol' Sheik. Her bonded soul, her best buddy, her homie, her brotha', and so on and so forth. With an enthusiastic yelp of joy, she leapt at him as the deadly jungle cat leaps upon the helpless and doomed fawn. His panicked scream was pleasantly comforting as she tackled him to the ground, a huge smile stretching her face.  
  
Sheik slowly felt his own limbs again as the vision wavered and faded. He and Zelda lowered their arms, and Zelda sighed, snuggling deeper into the folds of Impa's blanket. She looked worn-out and fatigued. Fragile.  
  
"..........................." Sheik looked thoughtful for a moment, then, "Does my voice really sound like that?" He leaned his head against his hand, disappointment and wonder etched on his features.  
  
In spite of herself, Zelda giggled. One really never knew what he'd say at times, not even if one was bonded with him. "It does tend to catch people unawares, a sheikan warrior who sounds like a choirboy tenor. One would think puberty had completely forgotten you. You can look so menacing at times, but then you speak!" She winked, baiting.  
  
Sheik stuck out his tongue and pulled a face. Zelda reciprocated. Then Sheik looked pensive again.   
  
"Zelda, I take it you were in there all day..."  
  
"Yes...I was."  
  
She shot a reproachful glare her way as he stood and felt her forehead with the back of his hand. "Why?! Do you have a death wish? You might get sick! It's cold and wet in there and you haven't eaten or drunk anything and-"  
  
"And you're as bad as Impa!" She softly slapped his hand away. "I swear, you two must be related!" A sigh. "But I am wearied. You may fetch me some food and drink now, I have a bit of an appetite; after that, I am going to bed. I'm so very tired." She waved him off, sighed again, and looked into the fireplace  
  
Sheik would have balked at her imperious manner, but she looked so pitiable, huddled up in the chair and nearly disappearing in a mass of blanket. And she HAD been through a lot today, and she HADN'T had anything, after all...and it was a bad time of year for colds...  
  
"I can't believe I'm such a pushover..." Sheik grumbled as he stalked off to procure sustenance for his princess.  
  
A chunk of bread and butter and a mug of nearly-expired-but-still-safe-hopefully goats' milk later....  
  
Zelda sat curled in the chair like a contented cat, staring with drooping eyelids into the sputtering fire Sheik had lit for her. Sheik had made her eat the small meal slowly, so as not to upset her stomach, and she had sipped the goats' milk tentatively, since it was a little old, and milk is notorious for encouraging nausea. She had taken around half an hour to eat, the memory had taken two hours, and now it was only one or two hours before dawn. She watched as Sheik, red-eyed from lack of sleep, strode out of sight, presumably into her and Impa's room, from the sound of it.   
  
Ten minutes later, he reappeared, gamely smiling as he stifled a yawn.  
  
"Tired? Good, so am I." Not waiting for an answer, he helped Zelda from the chair, and gave her an arm to lean on as she walked, a bit unsteadily, towards her room. In the ten minutes in which he was there, Sheik had cleaned up after the small tornado of a patrol that had been there earlier, putting mattresses back on their frames, putting clothes back in drawers back in dressers, and straightening out the sheets and pillows. He hadn't told Zelda about the search; she seemed stressed out enough as it was, and he hadn't let her see any of the mayhem the officers had left in their wake. Best that she find out when she was coherent and not likely to have any sort of mental breakdown.   
  
Zelda fell into her unmade bed, unaware that it wasn't unmade as she had left it that morning, pulled the covers over her, and grinned up at Sheik.   
  
"Thank you."  
  
Sheik shrugged, muttered "No problem." and turned to leave.  
  
"Sheik?" Zelda propped herself up on her elbow. Sheik stopped and looked back at her through messy blond hair. Zelda continued, unleashing the dreaded cute puppy eyes, "Could you.........could you stay here......please?" Her independent side was revolted, but she really didn't want to be alone just no, she had clung to Sheik's presence like a lifeline for the past several hours, keeping her from despairing again.  
  
Sheik was just plain bushed. His eyes were sore and his limbs were dead weights. Without hesitation, he turned on his heel, and walked back into the room.  
  
"Well, if you insist." He then promptly collapsed on Impa's bed, and was sound asleep within seconds. [Finally, some rest...]  
  
Zelda felt herself nodding off, lulled by Sheik's steady breathing. {If only he snored...} 


	12. What a good samaritan he is

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated this. Oh well. If you had to read 1000 pages of classical literature in nine weeks, you wouldn't find much time to write, either.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sheik was pleasantly slumbering, basking in the warm yummy-ness of the sunlight streaming in through Impa and Zelda's bedroom window. Then, unbidden, his nice, cozy, fuzzy dreams turned into a dream of him falling through an ice-fishing hole in Lake Hylia.   
  
Awakening instantly, he looked up in time to see Zelda standing over him, poised with a cup of water held over his head.   
  
"Nice try."  
  
Zelda stomped her foot in that furious, yet dainty manner that only princesses and the most effeminate of men can accomplish. "How do you always know?!"   
  
Sheik plastered a smug grin on his features. "Sheikah intuition."  
  
Zelda rolled her eyes, and for a moment, Sheik thought she was going to drench him. "Dork..." she muttered. "Just get up; there's someone downstairs who wants to talk to you."  
  
"That's a fine good morning. If it's that imbecile Dominic, tell him I'm hung over, or something."   
  
Zelda's all-too-thin patience was being sorely tried. She noticed her left eyelid twitch slightly, and attempted to stop it, as it wasn't a very dignified action. Her eyelid twitched more. "It's two in the afternoon!" She punctuated that statement by dumping the water in her cup on Sheik's head. "And it's not him. There's a woman here who's willing to pay us for something, and seeing as you've probably lost your job at the potion shop by now..." She started towards the door.  
  
"All right, I'm up, I'm up..." Money was always a rather important issue, seeing as it was so extremely useful in procuring food and paying for shelter. And it was true, now that Link was awake, Sheik hadn't shown up for work in several days. Pedro likely wasn't too thrilled with that. "What's she paying us for?"  
  
Zelda positively snarled in grammatical disgust. "It's 'For what is she paying us', and I'm not saying anything more about it. You'll have to talk to her yourself." With that, she left, and Sheik heard a muffled 'He'll be right out' through the door. Heaving a sigh, Sheik clambered out of bed, straightened his bandages, and stumbled out into the klivingchen.  
  
When Zelda had said 'woman' Sheik had been expecting a hylian, or perhaps even a gerudo, but he was definitely not expecting the woman who was seated at the table across from Zelda. Her skin was gnarled, greyish-brown in color. Her hair was a darker shade, very long, and very curly. All this, and judging by the soft, large eyes and the way the chair groaned miserably under her impressive bulk, she could be nothing less than a goron. Fortunately, she couldn't see Sheik's jaw drop.  
  
Zelda broke the brief silence. Sheik, this is Diamondi. She's come all the way from the goron city. [Well, obviously...] He nodded curtly and took the remaining seat. Diamondi needed no further prompting, but explained her situation in detail.  
  
"Well, now, I don't suppose you know what's been going on in the mountains, and I don't see why you would. None of us rightly know how it happened, but last year a dragon found its way into our mountain, right in the middle of our temple, to be exact."  
  
Here, she found herself interrupted. "But there are no such things as dragons," murmured an incredulous Zelda.  
  
The goron woman was unshaken. "That sounds good to me. Now, if you can walk up there and convince Volvagia (that's what we've taken to calling her by, you know) that she doesn't exist, I'll be most grateful!" She beamed proudly at her retort, continuing after Zelda's nod of resignation.  
  
"As I was saying, every now and then, there's a goron what goes out, and that's the last we see of him. And Darunia (he's my husband, you know), he-"  
  
"Oh! I know that name! He's the goron king, isn't he? Which makes you a queen." Zelda silently congratulated herself on being such a clever duck. Patiently, Diamondi rose and bobbed a polite curtsy.   
  
"We mountain folk don't have royalty, young miss, that we can speak of. I'm just the Big Mother."  
  
['Big' is a very appropriate term...] The Big Mother remained standing while she re-gathered her thoughts, and if not for the knowledge that articles of furniture cannot vocalize, Sheik would have expected her chair to heave a sigh of relief.  
  
"Clay and rust, I can't keep getting sidetracked so! We'll be here 'till midsummer! As I was saying," Here, Sheik shot a warning glance Zelda's way, as much as to say 'Don't you DARE say anything else.' "My husband got mighty fed up with folks disappearing, and being so smart, he decided that dragon was the cause of it all. So, he gathered up some of the missing folks' kin and went off to crack the pesky thing's skull. Well, that was a full two days ago, and by that time, I was getting mighty fretful. So," She seemed overcome by emotion, for she beat her hands together and let out a piteous howl, startling her audience so that they nearly fell out of their seats. "So, I took off to look for him. I wasn't thinking, oh! May dodongoes eat my toes for my foolishness! I forgot about my little son, who was still fast asleep at the time. Ah, I forgot! Addlebrained dunderhead that I am! I left my son at home, and now I can't find him anywhere! I've searched the city and the mountain all morning. Then I came down to your village (I am desperate) and heard there were sheikahs here. Sheikahs are trackers, you'll take pity on a poor, stupid, worried mother, won't you?" She was pulling at her hair by this time, and tears were streaming down her plump cheeks.   
  
Zelda was thoroughly moved by this heart-breaking scene, and volunteered Sheik without further hesitation. "Of course, Sheik would be honored to help you, Big Mother!" Ignoring the 'what?!' look from the party in question, she leaned over and patted Diamondi's hand in womanly reassurance. "Sheikahs are very protective of children; he'll have your son back safe and sound before you know it."   
  
Just as quickly as it a switch had been flipped, Diamondi whooped happily, clapping her hands and hopping up and down a few times, rattling the cottage down to its foundations and endangering the lives of several dishes. Laughing, she swept an unsuspecting Sheik into an enthusiastic goron hug. Our hero's eyes bugged out as all the breath was squeezed out of his lungs by Diamondi's vice-like grip. Also, he found that his face was being unintentionally pressed into a very indiscreet area. [Oh, THIS will look good on my epitaph. 'Here lie the earthly remains of Sheik, killed tragically in his youth-smothered by goron bosoms.']  
  
Now, to the outside observer, this all looked a bit hilarious. Seeing Diamondi, her mouth stretched into an impossibly huge grin, and Sheik, flailing his arms in an effort to regain his balance and giving muffled cries for air, Zelda caught a laugh welling in her throat, turning it into a prim cough at the last minute. "I suppose he should start off right away, so he can take advantage of the light."  
  
Diamondi immediately released Sheik, who sat down heavily, gasping. "Oh, he will? Wonderful! Oh, you're both such gems! I'm so lucky!" Sheik looked from Zelda, who was looking back at him meaningfully, to Diamondi, who was grinning at him in adulation. [So much for a day off...] With a slight sigh, he stood and stepped back a couple paces. Bowing a little more elegantly than usual, he took a deku nut from its satchel. "I'll try my best, ma'am." He hadn't wanted to ruin Diamondi's good mood by saying that he really wasn't the greatest tracker in all sheikahdom. Heck, he wasn't even the most okay tracker in all sheikahdom. He was really kind of lousy at it, but she had been so adamantly sure that he would be able to find this son of hers...  
  
The goron woman returned a gravely sincere curtsy. "I will be forever grateful to you, young sir. He's just a wee mite of a thing, after all..." She wrung her hands and sat down again.   
  
Letting the deku nut fall, Sheik began his teleport to Goron City's entrance just before the flash could blind him. [I'm such a sucker.]  
  
Back in Kakariko, Diamondi was quite impressed. "What a delightful trick! I was right to go to the professionals, I was." With a broad smile, she crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair (with was rather close to breaking from the stress), fears allayed. 


	13. Ah, children

Razzle-frackin' English! Hostickilfeifer oratorical research paper! How am I supposed to come up with a current issue to talk about with 'Dracula' and 'The Three Musketeers' as reference?! *sigh* I suppose it's my own fault for reading old books... Pardon my cartoon French, but I just think it bites...  
  
  
  
  
  
Rematerializing in his room, Sheik shuffled through some drawers before finding his whip, then reached under his bed and snagged his harp. No way was he going unprepared again, no sirree Bob. That done, he teleported over to the hot spring and changed into his now-dry clothes. Securing his mask over his face, he picked up his harp, stuffed it into that...void thing where travelers keep their stuff, wound his chain whip around his arm, and set off.  
  
The gate separating Kakariko from the trail leading to Death Mountain had long ago bitten the big one, and the gatekeeper that went with it had been unceremoniously retired, so Sheik wasn't expecting to meet anyone. However, to his unmitigated consternation, there sat along the side of the entryway not only a soldier, but Dominic, carving an apple with his dagger and whistling "Exa of Thirty-One." Sheik remembered, years ago, the hylian children singing it. Sheik had liked it as a child; the words were all utter nonsense, and the tune was blessedly simple, as youngsters are, essentially, tone-deaf. Zelda had later made the mistake of asking Impa what the song was about. (Apparently, Exa had, a hundred years ago, been a female zora serial killer who had managed to brutally slaughter thirty-one victims before being chased into the Lost Woods by a group of officers and vigilantes, never to be seen again. This little tidbit of information had very successfully sucked the fun out of "Exa of Thirty-One" entirely.)  
  
[Amazing, what children make up songs about...]  
  
Before he was noticed, Sheik hurriedly stuffed his chain whip down his shirt, and hoped it wouldn't be noticeable. Carrying a weapon was a big, no-no, bad thing to do, according to the (Somewhat Revised) Law of Hyrule, and the penalties for violation were superlatively harsh. The law had also become admirably creative with regards to sentencing. The whip would stay out of view.  
  
Fervently wishing that there was more than one path to take, Sheik walked quietly, in the ridiculous hope that he could just breeze on by unseen. As expected, Dominic looked up. "Oh, hello there, sheikah."  
  
[Wow, my heart just trembles at that tender greeting...] "Good afternoon, Captain." Sheik acted as though he had just realized that the hylian was even there.  
  
Dominic eyed Sheik in perlustration for a moment. "Why all the wrappings? You look ready for interment." He wore an obnoxious, galling smirk, but his eyes were unadulterated venom.  
  
Thinking quickly, Sheik whipped up some bull-pucky excuse. "Uh...I'm fasting. Religious thing, inner peace and whatnot." [Goddesses, sometimes I'm so clever I scare myself!]  
  
Dominic nodded sagely. "Ah, yes. Okay. All that cult worship you people do..." He looked pensive for a minute. "Where are you headed off to?"  
  
Relaxing slightly, Sheik replied, "Up the mountain." [Duh...]  
  
"To do...?"  
  
[Goddesses, get a life...] "Oh, you know. Fasting, meditation...other ...spiritual...thingies...like that..."  
  
Dominic quirked an eyebrow. "O...kay. You do that." He went back to eating his apple. Sheik stifled a sigh of relief and began walking again.   
  
"And let's keep the blood sacrifices to a minimum, all right?" the hylian called after him. Without turning, Sheik waved a hand in the affirmative. [Sacrifices indeed...Stupid hylian...]  
  
*grumblemutter*  
  
Dodging tektites and the occasional falling rock, Sheik worked his way up the twisting path. He had never actually climbed the mountain; when Impa had brought him to Kakariko seven years ago, they had taken a detour around Death Mountain on the left side. The farthest he'd ever been was to a funny looking wall-thing an hour away from Dodongo's Cavern when he was twelve, and he'd caught Dark Realm for it, too, when Impa found him. He was rather surprised to note that there was no vegetation growing on the slopes except a few low, bulbous little bush whatchamacallits. [Must be bomb flowers. Kinda homely plants...]  
  
After a two-hour hike, the ground leveled off as a steppe. A tall pole with a strip of ragged red cloth tied on top marked where the path diverged. One path sloped up pretty steeply, and sections of the trail had crumbled away. The other rose gradually, turning to disappear around the side of the mountain. A signpost nearby labeled them as 'Death Mountain Summit' and 'Goron City', respectively. Gazing around for a minute or two, Sheik memorized the pole and signpost, just in case he had to come back quickly, or wanted to save himself a climb.  
  
Tired out, he sat on the dusty ground, leaned back against a boulder, and let the breeze cool him. [Which way...] He sighed, closed his eyes, and picked out some notes on his harp absently. Somehow, the notes turned into 'Exa of Thirty-One.' [Curse that Dominic...!] Letting his hand fall to his lap, he sighed again. [Where to start looking? The ground's too hard for tracks, there's no grass or leaves to leave marks in... If I was a goron, where would I go?] He couldn't think up any sort of answer to that, and he was just starting to get a doozy of a headache, when a voice accosted him.  
  
"Hoo hoot! Hoo! What are you looking for, sheikah?"  
  
"AAGH!" Leaping from the ground and spinning to face the noise, Sheik brandished his whip, the links making a crackling *snap!* Perched atop the boulder was an enormous, terrifying, heinous, razor-taloned...owl? "Guh?"   
  
The owl ruffled his feathers indignantly. Clacking its beak once, it spoke, "Well, I say! A fellow makes an innocent query, and he's threatened with violence. How rude! Why, back when *I* was an owlet, people had manners, and didn't go about-"  
  
"Excuse me!" Sheik cut in, while simultaneously trying to get his brain around the fact that he was talking to a giant OWL of all things. "But *I* think it's pretty rude to sneak up on some poor, unsuspecting soul and nearly give him an aneurysm!" He began rewinding his whip, keeping a weather eye on the curiously large bird of prey, who stared right back.   
  
The bird blinked a few times, then chuckled (or an owl's equivalent of chuckling). "Oh...Well...Yes, I suppose...that may have been a bit...improper." That seeming to serve as an apology, the owl began talking again at once, as though nothing had happened. "I'm Kaepora Gaebora. Hooo might you be?" he said, stretching his neck out forward and twisting his head upside down. It looked a little disturbing.  
  
"Sheik," Sheik answered, tentatively shaking the Kappybarra...Koroba Golloppa...Kabobo...the owl's proffered talon. [I'm shaking hands with an owl. I wonder if there are hallucinogenic gases near volcanoes...]  
  
"Why are you looking at me so strangely, Sheik?" the owl asked, still spinning it's head around.  
  
[That doesn't look natural...] "I could say the same to you."  
  
The owl clacked its beak. "It's not often anyone comes up here, especially sheikahs. What are you looking for?"  
  
"There you go again. What makes you think I'm looking for anything?" Sheik said, a little too defensively.  
  
The owl was unperturbed. "You wouldn't make a climb like this for nothing."  
  
Sheik saw that he wasn't going to get rid of the owl unless he made an answer. Besides, maybe he had seen the kid. "I'm looking for the Big Mother's son. I've never been here before, so I don't really know where to begin looking."  
  
The owl appeared to nod, and closed his eyes in concentration. He didn't move for five minutes; when he suddenly spoke, Sheik jumped slightly. "The little one is very young; I doubt he'd be outside the city. Therefore, the city would be the most logical place to begin." He looked very pleased with himself, spinning his head first one way, then the other.  
  
"Thank you very much," Sheik said, and, giving the owl a small, polite bow, he started up the path to the goron city.  
  
With a soft rustle of wings, the owl was airborne, swooping over Sheik's head as he called, "You're most welcome, Sheik! Hoo, hoo, hoot!" He flew very quickly for a bird his size, and was soon a small speck in the sky.  
  
Sheik shook his head in confused amazement. "What a weird bird..."   
  
Within the hour, he found himself at a big tunnel entrance decorated with banners and lettering he couldn't decipher. A hylian signpost to the side read: "Goron City." [Gee, interesting name.] Walking in, he emerged in a huge cavern lit by torches. The size of the place was staggering. Walking to the edge of the walkway, Sheik could see that the place had at least three levels, with doorways carved out of the solid rock leading to who-knows-where. He walked slowly around the circular street, looking for signs of life. The city was silent; it appeared deserted. [Did the whole blasted town run off to fight that dragon?] Cupping his hands around his covered mouth, he started calling to try and get the attention of whoever might be left. "Helloooooo! Anyone here?" he yelled. Only his echo answered. This continued for a good half hour. Sheik had checked through the entire third story; at least, as far as he could see. This was frustrating. Why couldn't kids stay where they were put? [As if I ever did, but still...] "I said, is anyone he-OOF!"   
  
*WHUMP!*  
  
Out of nowhere, something had just barreled into the back of his legs and sent him flying through the air, unfortunately, over the ledge. Twisting himself around, he made a grab for the edge, but missed by a few inches. That would have been the untimely end of him, if the next street hadn't been a measly nine feet below to break his fall.  
  
*THUD!*  
  
Sheik landed flat on his back, knocking the wind out of him as he gazed up, bewildered, at the spinning cavern ceiling. After a few seconds he got his breath back, and sat up veeery slowly. Everything hurt. His head hurt, his back hurt, his arms and legs hurt, his butt hurt, and his stomach and chest hurt. He hadn't even landed on those last two, either... "Ouch..."  
  
A smallish boulder rolled up to him and stopped. [Well, this day just keeps getting stranger...] Upon uncurling, though, it turned out to be a goron child. His black eyes sparkled in righteous anger, and he wore a scowl that would have been intimidating, had he not been so tiny. "That's right, and there's plenty more where that came from, you dirty spy!"  
  
Sheik stared blankly. "Spy?"  
  
The pint-sized goron continued his tirade. "The gorons will never pay tribute to any slimy gerudo! You can go tell Ganondorf that yourself if you can get past me! Here my name and tremble! I am Link, Hero of the Gorons!"  
  
Sheik blinked twice. "Are you done?"  
  
The goron nodded. "Yep. Whadda'ya say to THAT, punk?"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Sheik picked himself up off the ground to tower over the little goron, which was pretty neat, considering he was too short to tower over most people. "I say: I'm Sheik, a warrior of the sheikah, and I don't take too kindly to ruffians who think they can just plow into whoever they want." He narrowed his eyes for effect, giving the child a withering glare.   
  
It worked like a charm. Actually, it worked a little too well, for the kid screamed and curled up in a ball. "Waaaaahhh! Don't eat me!"  
  
That exclamation almost knocked Sheik back a couple steps. "Eat you? Where did you get that idea?"  
  
The goron kept wailing. "I don't WANNA be a lampshade!"  
  
[Was this kid dropped on his head, or something?] "Lampshade? Where are you getting this stuff, kid?"  
  
The child uncurled a bit to look up at the sheikah, big tears in his eyes. "My momma said sheikahs eat bad kids and make lampshades out of them. And you're a SHEIKAH and now I've made you MAD, and...and...and I don't WANNA be a LAMPSHADE!" He went back to sobbing.  
  
[Oh, great...] Sheik didn't deem himself good with children. He liked kids...at a safe distance. He desperately tried to think of how Zelda would handle this situation. Not that any child would ever be in mortal terror of her, but... [That whole 'talking gently' approach might work...] "Hey now, kid...I'm not really going to do anything..." The goron sniffled and looked up again, uncurling himself. [Sweet...] "There you go. Just shut up for a second, kiddo." Sheik knelt down to Link's height. "Sheikah's don't eat and/or make lampshades out of kids, bad or otherwise. In fact, we consider even smacking a child to be a crime. Ease up. You mother was probably just exasperated with you, or something like that."  
  
Link fidgeted a bit. "You're not gonna eat me?"  
  
Sheik shook his head. "Or make you into a lampshade."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
"...Okay." The child stared at Sheik closely for a few moments. "Do you work for Ganondorf?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. What are you doing here, then? The city's empty. Everyone's either eaten, hiding, or fighting the dragon with Daddy."   
  
"I'm looking for a lost child. Do you know the Big Mother?"   
  
The child perked up and started dancing around. "Momma! Momma! You know where Momma is?! I've been looking for her all day! I thought she'd gotten eaten!"  
  
Sheik heaved a sigh. At least he wouldn't have to search the entire mountain. "I take it you're the one I'm looking for."  
  
The kind nodded. "I'm the Little Brother! Where's Momma?"  
  
"She's in Kakariko; I'm to bring you to her."  
  
"Yay! Let's go, let's go!"  
  
[Well, that was easier than I thought it would be...] "All right, then. Come on." Sheik headed towards the nearest staircase, Link ambling along beside him. Outside, it was nearing sunset; Sheik reminded himself to keep an eye out for any potentially hostile animals. Soon enough, a steady torrent of words were tumbling out of his youngster companion.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Sheik sighed again. "It's a chain whip."  
  
"Is it hard to use?"  
  
"It's tricky."  
  
"Did you ever hit yourself?"  
  
"Now and then."  
  
"Where?"  
  
*sigh* "In the face, mostly. Walk, Link."  
  
"How come your eyes are red?"  
  
"They just are. Why are you eyes black?"  
  
"How come your ears are so long and skinny?"  
  
"They just ARE, Link."  
  
"You're not a very good answerer... ...How come your face is covered up?"  
  
Sheik simply sighed.  
  
"Do you have a big, icky scar?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Can I see it?"  
  
"There's no scar, Link!" Sheik pulled down the mask for a moment. "See? Nothing. Stop asking me about it."  
  
Link kept quiet. After about two seconds, he said, "You're kinda' grumpy, Mister Sheikah."  
  
"Sheik."  
  
Link kept going, more to himself than to Sheik. "I like you, though. You're nice, even though you're grumpy."  
  
Sheik didn't answer. Quite honestly, he was beginning to tune out the kid's constant jabbering.  
  
"Do you have a girlfriend?"  
  
Even with the mask, one could make out a grimace of sheer pain on Sheik's countenance. "No."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"'Because' isn't a reason; Momma says so."  
  
Sheik noticed that he had begun to grind his teeth and tried to relax, in spite of this miniature Inquisition. [He's not going to understand, but...if it'll get him to clam up for a minute...] "I don't have a girlfriend because I'm submissively soulbound. There. Happy?"  
  
Link crinkled his brow in deepest concentration for at least five seconds. "What's 'surbissimally solebownd' mean?"  
  
"It means there's been a psychic bond made between me and a woman I'm supposed to protect, and I'm the less powerful of us two."  
  
"Is she like your wife?"  
  
[Will the pain never stop?!] "No. In fact, part of the binding spell makes it so that I..." Sheik blushed and stumbled for words. "It kinda...it...prevents anything untoward from happening between us, and keeps me loyal by making sure I can't get...distracted...by someone else...and WHY in HYRULE am I discussing the gory details of my personal life with a six-year-old?!"   
  
Link cocked his head to the side, rather lost.  
  
*sigh* "It basically just makes me asexual, okay?" Sheik hoped that would end it.  
  
Link's eyes widened in shock. "You said s-e-x!" This sent him into a fit of laughter, which, fortunately, kept him from asking any more prying questions while he was thus preoccupied. Sheik blessed the reprieve, and they walked on for ten minutes without inturruption. He also realized that he didn't feel that great. He hadn't eaten anything all day, after all... [I want this day to be over...]   
  
"Mister Sheikah?" came a small, plaintive voice.  
  
[I'm never having kids...] "What?" Sheik asked (a bit snappishly), as he turned around.  
  
"My feet hurt."  
  
Well...the kid wasn't that big, so... [@#$%!] "Okay..."  
  
*five minutes later*  
  
Trying to piggy-back a goron, even a small one, when he was already exhausted had proved to be a bad idea, indeed. Sheik lay sprawled out on the ground on his back, taking big, shaky gulps of air and wincing at the spasm-inducing pain shooting up and down his back. [Who knew gorons were so HEAVY! My goddesses, I'm paralyzed!] Link sat on a rock nearby keeping vigil over his rescuer, who now lay writhing in agony, with the attention children pay to all such spectacles. He felt sympathy for the sheikah, of course, but it was also very interesting, like watching flipped-over tektites trying to get back on their feet...only, Sheik really wasn't making any attempt at moving at all, he just groaned now and then.  
  
"Gee, are you okay, Mister Sheikah?"  
  
[I'm dying!] "Just give me...a minute kid...I'm fine..."  
  
"You made a real funny noise just before you fell down."  
  
"...I'll bet..."  
  
"Me and Daddy found a dodongo makin' noises like that once. I was just lying there, like you. Daddy said it should be put out of its misery and then he hit it on the head real hard with his hammer."  
  
Sheik tried to glare at the goron without having to turn his neck. "How lovely."  
  
"After you get up, how much farther is it?"  
  
Sheik briefly considered stopping for the night. Looking up (which was pretty much all he could do at the moment) he could see that the moon had risen. However, it was slightly chilly tonight, and considering that they had passed the crossroads half an hour ago... He figured they weren't more than an hour or so from the bottom, since descending was always faster than climbing. "Not too much farther." He eased himself into a sitting position.  
  
Link sighed. "I'm tired. Your legs are lots longer than mine; I can't keep up..." He looked at the ground.  
  
"Hmmm, I think we've verified that I can't carry you..." While he was thinking of a way to get the child moving again, his stomach choose that lull in the conversation to make itself heard, quite assertively. [Eek.]  
  
Link's jaw dropped in astonishment. "Wow! Even Daddy's tummy doesn't growl THAT loud!"  
  
Sheik shrugged and said, "Well, I haven't eaten anything today..."  
  
"Nothing ALL DAY?!" Link couldn't fathom it. "How?!"  
  
"I'm...a little absentminded."  
  
Link took a scolding tone. "How can you forget to EAT?"  
  
"I just did, I guess." Sheik retrieved his near-lost train of thought. "Hey, could you roll down the path?" It seemed a tad mean, but he couldn't think of anything else, and it would be fast.  
  
Link considered this. "Could you give me a push? Gettin' started's the hardest."  
  
Sheik thought this was fair, so after he managed to stand and move fairly well, Link curled himself up. Sheik braced his hands against the goron's hide, planted his feet, and gave a mighty shove. After about three such attempts, the animate boulder was moving, bouncing merrily along and accelerating down the path, leaving a thoroughly bushed sheikah wishing he could do the same without sustaining a fatal head injury.  
  
Sheik gasped, resting his hands on his knees and trying desperately not to keel over from dizziness. [Need sleep, food. ...And a deep-tissue massage. Sleep, food, massage...] He forced himself to stagger along down the trail, keeping the goron in sight.   
  
When Sheik had dragged his poor, abused carcass down the mountain, he found Link sitting on the ground near the entrance to Dodongo's Cavern.  
  
"You look kinda bad, Mister Sheikah." Sweet kid.  
  
Sheik panted for a while before answering. "I'm fine...just...fine...it's all right...Wait here for a minute, Link." Sheik started walking slowly down the path. He called back over his shoulder, "And I mean it: don't move."  
  
He was really hoping that Dominic wasn't there. He didn't remember when shift changes were, but he prayed that no one had been able to replace him when the irritating captain went off-duty. It wasn't Dominic, but unfortunately, there was someone there, and he wasn't sleeping. Making sure he wasn't seen or heard, Sheik made his way back to the cavern, running as fast as he could without his lungs bursting.   
  
Upon reaching Link, he slid to a stop and blurted out, "Hey, Link, wanna see me do a trick?" Earlier, he had tried to talk the goron child into teleporting with him, but Link had adamantly refused, saying it was too scary. Sheik was too tired to walk anymore. He could also be crafty as a keaton when he was so inclined.  
  
Link took the bait. "What?"  
  
Sheik grinned. [Yes!] "Grab my hand." The child obliged. "Now, close your eyes, and don't open them until I tell you to." Link squeezed his eyes shut.   
  
Rallying his strength, Sheik pictured the klivingchen at home, he and his cargo melting into the void, rematerializing in record time. Sheik gratefully dropped to the floorboards, tears of utter rapture welling in his eyes. "Okay, open your eyes."  
  
Zelda and Diamondi were sitting with their backs facing the newly arrived pair, but upon Link's shout of "Momma!" they spun and leapt from their seats. Diamondi's was probably permanently bowed, the poor thing.  
  
"Link!" The Big Mother wept as she scooped up her son, weeping and scolding him. "Don't you ever wander off like that again, you hear me? Lava and sulfur, if you ever scare me like that again...You just wait 'till your father gets home! Oh! Thank Din you're safe!" The little goron squeaked out something like "Air..."   
  
Zelda knelt down by Sheik, and they both watched the enthusiastic reunion. [Do you think we should remind her that she was the one who 'wandered off?'] Sheik thought, absolutely NOT going to let Zelda's sentimentality seep into him and reduce him to a sniffling puddle of goo.  
  
Zelda sighed as though she was long-suffering. {Whatever. Don't ruin the moment, Sheik.} Then she gave him a congratulatory hug and peck on the cheek. "Good job, Sheik. I thought you'd find him."  
  
[Just 'thought?' You weren't certain?]  
  
{...I was fairly sure.}  
  
[Nice...Real nice...]  
  
They had forgotten the presence of the Big Mother, who swept them both into a goron hug amid startled yelps. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're both just GEMS, absolute gems! I was so worried, you know, so worried!"  
  
Zelda's eyes bugged out. "Air!" Her plea was unrecognizably muffled.  
  
[Not so hilarious now, is it?]  
  
Finally, Diamondi released them, Zelda trying to catch her breath as daintily as possible, Sheik just trying to stay upright. "If there's anything either of you ever need from us gorons, don't you be too proud to ask; it's the least we can do, after all." She stood up tall, looking both slightly intimidating and ingratiated.  
  
"Of course. It's been an honor to help you, Big Mother," said Zelda, bobbing a curtsy. "Sheik agrees."  
  
Sheik managed a wan smile. He wanted to go to bed.  
  
{We still have to get them home.}  
  
*sigh* [I know...]  
  
{Listen. I know you're tired, so how about I lend you some of my power. Then you can teleport them back into the city.}  
  
[Sure, sounds okay...]  
  
Sheik made an attempt at cheerfulness. "Hey, Link, want to see the trick again?" Link had been very rapidly telling his Mother how Sheik had 'made everything cold, and then...POOF!' as he put it. Sheik held out one hand for each of the gorons. "Close your eyes again, or it won't work." As he said this, he sent a knowing wink in Diamondi's direction, who nodded in understanding, quite excited herself and hoping that the 'trick' was the one she thought it was.  
  
Sheik envisioned the place in the Goron city where he had somewhat violently met Link, and slipped into the void. Zelda's aide was wonderful; he doubted he could have taken two extra people on his own. The reentry, however, was a little rough on him, seeing as he wasn't really physically up to teleportation at the moment, helped or otherwise.  
  
"Ha!" The goron woman had, apparently enjoyed her first trip through the gap between dimensions, and she danced around happily with her son for a while. Then, espying Sheik, she crushed him in another hug. "Regardless of being the first, you, young 'un, are the most gemmy sheikah I ever met! Thank you so much for all your trouble!" With that, she planted a big ol' kiss on his cheek, and set him down before he expired from lack of oxygen. "Oh! You look like a dodongo with the measles! You get home and go to bed!" She laughed, gathered up her son, and began trundling off for home.   
  
[That's an excellent idea.]   
  
Sighing and gathering himself a final time, he envisioned his bedroom, and, with Zelda's help, teleported fairly quickly. The reentry nearly made him retch. Lack of food really wasn't a great thing for sheikahs; they tended to be energy guzzlers. Sheik dragged himself across the room and flopped onto his bed, not bothering to change, and too tired to sleep right away.  
  
Zelda had seen his destination, and came upstairs, carrying a bowl of the thin soup she'd made for her and Diamondi's dinner. "All right, sit up. You made me eat." She grinned mischievously at Sheik's sidelong glance.  
  
"You've poisoned it, haven't you?"  
  
Zelda giggled, careful not to spill. "No. Who'd do the menial labor around here if I did that?" She handed the bowl to Sheik, who slurped it down alarmingly quickly. Zelda raised her eyebrows incredulously. "Nayru, Sheik, don't choke! That's the fastest I've ever seen you eat my cooking. You MUST be hungry..." She watched him drain the bowl in wonderment.  
  
Sheik grinned sheepishly. "I...kinda forgot to take food with me." Deftly changing the subject, so as to avoid the 'if your head wasn't screwed on' lecture, he looked into his empty bowl. "I take it it's time to rustle up some grub if dinner was cucco broth and old celery."  
  
Zelda nodded. "It's time to 'rustle up' some rent money as well. The first of the month is in a week."  
  
Sheik sighed. "Great. Well, I'll see what I can do, okay?"  
  
Zelda gave him another little hug. "Please do. Princesses shouldn't sleep in boxes in the ally." Sheik chuckled half-heartedly. He'd hate to see it come to that. "Get some sleep, Sheik. It's late." Sheik nodded, lying down and dozing off almost instantly now that his stomach was full.  
  
  
  
Zelda watched him sleep for a few minutes. {He looks like a child when he's asleep.} She thought back to when they were children, at the beginning of Ganondorf's reign, before everything had changed too much. He hadn't seemed very promising then, just a short little boy who got beat up a lot, didn't like mud fights, and was scared of spiders (so, of course, Zelda used to pick them up and chase him with them, cackling madly). He really hadn't changed much since then; he had matured, but he'd somehow retained the light-heartedness that had deserted his bonded soul, something for which Zelda was very grateful.   
  
He was tough; she just hoped he wouldn't get too weighed-down, now that Link's quest had restarted. She knew what was going to happen to poor Link. She would hate to see her protector as jaded and cold as she and Link would be by the time this was all over.  
  
{It's not fair. It's too much for so few people.}  
  
She headed downstairs, walking quietly so as not to wake Sheik, and got herself ready for bed, trying to think of people who might be willing to take on an assistant. She couldn't ease his burden as far as the Sages and Link were concerned, but she could at least help out with the ever-present issue of money.  
  
{I hope nothing happens tomorrow. He doesn't get enough rest. I hope he doesn't get sick...} 


	14. Nothing quite like being everyone's emot...

Hey! Guess what! Almost time for the second temple! Yeah! And it only took...like...13 chapters! Woo!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[I shall vanquish that accursed robin YET!]  
  
The cheerful twittering outside his window wrenched sleep from our heroic sheikah. Sheik sat up, hair sticking out in all directions, one eye open slightly wider than the other, the very picture of grace and beauty. He stumbled over to the window and leaned out. The female robin was in the nest, and the male wasn't too far off. Sheik shook his fist at the red-breasted fowl. "Buddy, if you didn't have a wife and kids, I'd pluck your feathers out one by one, roast you over an open fire, and eat you!"  
  
The robin paused in its joyous song of the morning, looked straight at Sheik, and left a happy little birdy present on the branch. Then it started chirruping again.  
  
Sheik narrowed his eyes in an icy glare. "One of these days, bird. One of these days..."  
  
"Sheik, who are you talking to?"  
  
Sheik spun and saw Zelda standing in the doorway, a look of concern on her royal visage. Sheik sputtered, "I was just...um...it was.........nothing." He suddenly took a great interest in the floor. [I still haven't swept it...]  
  
Zelda rolled her eyes heavenwards. "I worry about you sometimes..." She remembered why she'd come upstairs. "So I've gotten a job with Widow Spinkly."  
  
Sheik wasn't expecting that, and his groggy mind took a few moments to process what Zelda had said. "You mean that crazy old lady next to the windmill?" Sheik had a theory that the windmill had a sort of aura that induced mental illness in those living near to it. It was not entirely without merit.  
  
"Yes, that lady. And she's not crazy, Sheik; she's very nice, just...eccentric."  
  
"Right." [If she's just eccentric, I'm the Great Fairy of Rutabagas...]  
  
{I heard that, Great Fairy.} "I'm helping her with her potions, and I'm to live there so she has someone to help her, in case she falls down or somesuch. She's not as young as she used to be."  
  
"I guess that sounds okay..." Sheik knew Zelda would be safer there than at home, what with Impa gone and him traipsing all over the countryside, and the money would be helpful, but still... It was going to get lonely.  
  
"You can visit, of course. I'm sure Mrs. Spinkly wouldn't mind. And it will give me something to do."  
  
Sheik shrugged. Well, that was that taken care of. "I suppose it sounds all right. I'm okay with it if you are."  
  
Zelda nodded. "I am. Besides," she smiled devilishly, "she lives next door to Victor." Zelda had had an off again, on again crush on the clerk of the potion shop for the last three years. It wasn't serious, after all, Zelda was royalty, but hormones will be hormones. Unfortunately, because of their link, Zelda had accidentally made Sheik act like a giddy teenage girl anytime Victor was in the general vicinity, blushing, nervous stammering, and stupefied gaze included. Needless to say, the poor clerk avoided Sheik like the plague.  
  
Sheik crossed his arms, sounding and looking alarmingly like Impa. "And you'd better keep your distance, or should I stay here and watch you?"  
  
Zelda laughed. "Now, now, there's no need to be jealous of the fact that some of us have functioning romantic lives."  
  
"Why do I need one, I get too much of yours as it is." Sheik knew Zelda would never try anything, she was far too aware of her social status for that, but he had to say something. Impa would have.   
  
Zelda giggled. "Well, I'd better get going. She seemed very enthusiastic about finally having some help, and we're to start cleaning house today."  
  
"You? Clean a house?" Sheik sounded incredulous.  
  
"I'll have you know that I am perfectly capable of housework!" Zelda stuck her tongue out and turned to leave. Then, she turned and ran back. "You got me so peeved that I almost forgot," she said. "Rauru contacted me last night. Link's freed the first sage, and he'd headed back to Castletown."  
  
"Already?" Sheik's eyes widened in disbelief.   
  
Zelda nodded. "That's what I said. He should be there by tomorrow morning, or tonight. Rauru wants you at the temple by this evening, just in case."  
  
[Perfect.]   
  
Zelda made for the stairs again. "I'm going to be late if I stay much longer. Oh, and Spinkly's feeding me as part of my payment, so help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen." With that, she hurriedly scampered down the stairs and out the front door. [Well, don't smother me with tearful farewells, or anything...]  
  
{Crybaby.}  
  
Flopping down on his bed again, Sheik decided, since there was nothing especially pressing that needed to be done as of yet, to lie like a slug for a few minutes. Upon looking out the window, he saw a very lovely and charming sunset. [Sunset?! I fell asleep!] Grabbing his harp and rewinding his bandages, Sheik crossed the room. A thought occurred to him, he walked back, snagged his bottle o' poe off of his dresser, and walked downstairs. "Might as well take care of you while I'm in Castletown, right, Murry?" The poe swirled around in the bottle bemusedly.  
  
After a few minutes of rummaging through the klivingchen cabinets, Sheik came up with the last chunk of bread in the house. "Hmmm..." Choking it down hastily, Sheik pictured the Chamber of Sages and slipped into the void. [Ha! I won't be late THIS time...]   
  
Alighting on the largest of the pillars again, Sheik noticed a smallish green circle glowing softly next to Rauru's golden one. [That one must be for the Sage of Forest...]   
  
"Well, even at my age, it seems I can be surprised. You're early."  
  
Indulging in a small, triumphant grin, Sheik turned to Rauru. "Well now, I suppose I AM a little on the early side, aren't I?"  
  
"Of course, seeing as that is what is expected of you, I hardly see any need for recognition."   
  
Crestfallen, Sheik nodded assent.  
  
Rauru sighed quietly. "I was about to sit down to dinner. I highly doubt that you've eaten, correct? You're welcome to join me."   
  
Sheik perked up at the mention of food. "Thanks, you Excellency!" [When has Rauru ever fed me? There must be an ulterior motive...]  
  
He felt himself teleport; it shocked him, Sheik still wasn't used to the idea of an outside force moving him. He reappeared in a small, spartan stone room with one small window. He glanced outside at the ruins of Castletown, the charred, skeletal support beams of houses reaching toward the darkened sky.   
  
"Well, are you waiting for a written invitation? Sit."   
  
Sheik jumped and looked at Rauru, who was already seated at a little table and eating something that looked like soup. Sheik took the seat across from the wizened old sage, and looked into his own bowl. Whatever it was, it was white, and sort of milky-looking. Sheik picked up his spoon and warily swirled it around in the soup a few times. It smelled nice; that didn't mean it was safe. "It's poisoned, isn't it?" Sheik couldn't believe he'd said that, and braced himself for the scolding he was bound to receive for his impertinence.   
  
Instead, Rauru's wrinkled face wrinkled up even more in a smile. "I assure you, Sheik, it's perfectly harmless. Why, if I wanted to do you in, I'm sure a sage such as myself could come up with a more original way of going about it, don't you?"  
  
That seemed sound reasoning, and, at that point, Rauru could have told Sheik that the secret ingredient was cyanide; Sheik was too hungry to care. It turned out to be clam chowder, very good clam chowder, and Sheik had the bowl scraped dry within two minutes. He looked up to see Rauru staring at him slack-jawed, eyes wide in astonishment. Sheik's face suddenly matched his eyes. "Um....This is really good...Eheh..." He forced a weak smile.   
  
Rauru forced a weak smile of his own. He had forgotten how young men could eat. And eat. And eat... "Erm....Would you like some more?"  
  
Sheik beamed. "Oh, well...I really shouldn't, but...Yes. I think I will." Sheik ladled himself another helping of chowder, which soon enough met its terrible doom. [This stuff is @#$%ing good! No wonder he's five feet tall and five feet wide...] "Did you make this?"  
  
Rauru finished his own bowl slowly, taking small sips. "Well, I should hope that after nine hundred years I would be able to manage a decent clam chowder."   
  
Sheik blinked. "Oh, yeah."  
  
"Now, if I could tear your attention away from eating for a moment..."  
  
[I knew it! The ulterior motive!]  
  
"I'd like to speak with you before Link arrives."  
  
"Oh?" Sheik couldn't keep a worried frown from gracing his features. [Great. What did I do THIS time?]  
  
Rauru met Sheik's eyes steadily. "Are you aware, Sheik, of how important this is?" No clarification on 'this' needed to be made.  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"If we fail to overthrow Ganondorf now, we cannot try again. Ever."  
  
Sheik nodded meekly. "I know, sir."  
  
Rauru sighed once more, and shut his eyes wearily. "I understand that sheikah take longer than hylians to mentally mature. I bear that in mind. I also see that it is in your nature to cope with stress by flouting the stressor." Sheik really wasn't sure where this was going, but he felt oddly chastised. Rauru opened his eyes and continued. "If I seem harsh toward you, it is merely through frustration. Sheik, I see in you great potential, yet you seem to settle for mediocrity. You answer a summons when you feel like it; you get your work done, but barely. Why, you nearly missed the Hero both times you've met with him! If this is going to be a habit with you, I need to know. This is not a matter to be taken lightly."  
  
Sheik stared at the tabletop for a moment. He hated lectures, especially when the lecturer was right. "I'm sorry, you Excellency... I don't mean to be...flippant, or anything, it's just that...."  
  
Rauru finished his sentence. "You're scatterbrained. I know you're trying; fortunately, memory and organization are things that can be improved over time. I want you to remember that you are more important than you may think; perhaps that thought will sharpen your mind a bit."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"And I am as well aware of your strengths as I am of your shortcomings. You are very intelligent. More importantly, you are also very compassionate, more so than most people in these times. Sheik, you guide Link well, and you teach him the songs he needs to move safely here. But I could pull any hyrulian off of the street, and he would fare just as well. You were chosen for other reasons." Rauru stood, and Sheik followed. "That's all I wished to tell you. If I were you, I would await the Hero."  
  
Seeing that as his dismissal, Sheik made a polite bow and envisioned the sanctuary of the Temple of Time. "Thank you, you Excellency," he managed to say before the void pulled him from the room.  
  
Mindful of the threadbare, fading carpet of the sanctuary, Sheik wandered about for an hour or so, sifting through small piles of rubble where a particularly nasty storm had stripped holes in the roof. Some of the roof tiles weren't even broken, and could be used again, once it was safe enough for anyone to make the repairs. [Hopefully, that will be soon.] He leaned against the cool stone wall, picking out melodies on his harp. The tune fell into a nice, comfortable little rondo, for a while, at least.  
  
-I know a zora maiden,  
and she paints all the lilies,  
She goes about the rivers,  
and visits all the cities,  
  
Exa Thirty-One's her name,  
her kiss is sharp and chilly,  
It's how she makes her paint red,  
so she can paint the lilies.-  
  
[Curse that Dominic! I'll never get that out of my head!] Putting his harp away, Sheik eventually wandered into the inner chamber. Sitting, staring at the Master Sword's pedestal and generally being bored out of his gourd, Sheik wondered how much longer Link would be. As if in answer to his silent complaint, footsteps made their way through the sanctuary of the temple. Standing, Sheik stayed back in the shadows, so Link wouldn't see him immediately. Listening to the uneven steps, Sheik surmised that Link had taken some wound to a leg or an ankle-he seemed to limp or stumble rather than walk. [And he had to walk all the way here. What good is that fairy of his if she doesn't even heal him?] He slowly paced into the middle of the room, careful to keep himself between Link and the sword pedestal.   
  
"You destroyed the wicked creatures that haunted the temple and awakened the Sage..."   
  
Link jumped as much as his injuries would let him, startled and noticing Sheik for the first time. Sheik caught sight of tears as Link was reminded of his dearest friend. The sheikah felt a twinge of guilt, but kept talking, hoping to get his instructions over with, and perhaps distract Link in doing so.  
  
"But there are still other Sages who need your help." Sheik saw Link's face fall a bit more than it already had. "In order to awaken all the other Sages, you must become even more powerful." [There's a vague generalization, if I ever heard one.] "You must travel over mountains...um......." Link brightened, just a little, as he watched his solemn and extremely absentminded guide tried to find his words. After a few moments, Sheik had it. "Oh! Yes...under water...and even through time..."  
  
He wasn't sure if he had set it off, or if it was merely stress, but as Sheik looked more closely, he could see Link's breath hitching, as though he was biting back sobs. [Oh, wonderful...] It was easier to comfort someone when you shared a mental bond with said person, but in the absence of that... "And you are clearly in no condition to listen to my dry words or play music." As he walked toward Link, the hero's frame shuddering with silent weeping, one hand covering his eyes, Sheik was accosted by the pale blue fairy that had flitted out from Link's hood.   
  
"Of course he's not! Does he LOOK like he wants to stand there and listen to you prattle on like one of those stupid statues?" The little fairy rammed herself lightly against Sheik's chest, indicating the insignia dyed onto it. "You even look like one of those stupid things..." If she had intended to continue her tirade, Link silenced her.  
  
"Navi, stop." The fairy seemed to sigh, her aura pulsing with anger. She floated back to her charge and seated herself on the hylian's shoulder. Link looked up at Sheik after wiping his eyes on his sleeve. He wasn't fooling anyone, of course; his eyelids were red-rimmed, and twin tracks had been carved through the grime on his face. "I'm sorry; she doesn't usually fly off the handle like that."  
  
Sheik shrugged. "It's all right." He dropped his formal speech style. "I probably deserve it." He held out an arm; Link took Sheik up on the offer, leaning heavily on the sheikah for support. The reek of blood and stale sweat wafted through Sheik's facemask. Link was in worse shape than Sheik had thought; the hylian shivered from exhaustion and pain, each step taking more and more effort. Finally, they made it to a wall, where Sheik helped the aching man to sit down on the floor, leaning back against the stone. Link sighed gratefully. Sheik plopped (gracefully) down onto the floor next to him, regarding the hero for a moment before realizing that Link must have used a Phoenix Tear potion (or Red potion) to heal his injuries. Something like that would seal any wounds and broken bones, but would do nothing for pain (narcotics were a bad idea when in battle). [Well, not much I can do about that...]   
  
Taking out his harp, Sheik idly plucked at the strings, then settled into the Song of Songbirds. He wasn't really all that adept with conversation, especially when delicate words were needed. Zelda was the orator of the pair. He set his harp gently on the floor. "Your return to the forests must not have been a happy one."  
  
Link sighed, his voice shaky. "Nobody knew me." He shifted a bit, grimacing as some part of him protested. "...They just called me 'mister.'"  
  
[Impa would have been better at this...] Sheik spoke softly, "It's been seven years, Link. They weren't expecting you to leave the forest a Kokiri, and come back a full-grown hylian. Goddesses, they don't even know what a hylian is..."  
  
"I didn't tell them; I was afraid that they wouldn't believe me."  
  
"Well...look on the bright side. At least you weren't attacked. I was nearly savagely beaten with a large stick!" Sheik clasped his hands and batted his eyelashes. "Is that any way to treat an innocent bard?" he whined plaintively. The fairy giggled; the corners of Link's mouth turned up, just a tad, not quite a smile. Sheik leaned his head back against the wall, glancing sidelong at Link, waiting for the hylian to go on. Link stared at his boots for a minute, then spoke.  
  
"Everything's changed so much. It's like a different world. Dampe's gone, no one remembers me but Malon, and she's so miserable...Saria...S-saria..." Link couldn't finish, the tears he had been working so hard to suppress came, and with a choking sob, he rested on Sheik's shoulder and wept.   
  
Sheik fidgeted uncomfortably. If Link had been a child, this would be considered a normal reaction to what he'd just gone through. [Actually, I suppose he is a child, in a way.] Sheik hadn't a clue what the proper thing to say to Link would be, if anything, so he took up his harp again, the strings barely sounding, letting the instrument wander on its own, the Song of Songbirds melting into Zelda's Lullaby. Link's grip on the sheikah relaxed a bit, and his breathing steadied; Sheik realized that the hylian had fallen asleep. [Great. That's my noblest ambition in life, that's why I'm here: as a pillow. I'm going to have one mother of a backache...again.] He heaved a sigh; he was afraid that if he tried to move much, Link would wake up. A faint, bell-like sound caught his attention.  
  
"Your playing was very beautiful," the little fairy said, by way of starting conversation. She alighted on the old harp's curled scroll.  
  
Sheik couldn't help but blush. He grinned sheepishly from behind his mask. "Harps can't help but sound beautiful, no matter what clumsy doofus plucks at them..."  
  
Navi laughed, silvery and tinkling like small bells. "Link says something similar about just about everything...What was your name, again?"  
  
"Sheik."  
  
Her aura had faded considerably since she had landed, and Sheik could see her smack a hand against her teensy forehead dramatically. "Now, how did I forget that? Sheik the sheikah," she murmured to herself, "I'll remember it this time." Navi seemed to shift slightly to get herself comfortable. "I'm sorry I got mad at you."  
  
Sheik shrugged. "Like I said, no harm done. I'm used to it."  
  
Navi pondered something a moment, then... "Hey." She said it so briskly that Sheik's heart nearly leapt into his throat. The little fairy didn't appear to notice how shrill she could be. "How old are you, anyway? I thought sheikah were disciplined and wise, and all that stuff."  
  
The red-eyed minstrel counted on his fingers, rolled his eyes up to the sky in mental strain, looked down to his fingers again, then started counting fingers and harp strings. Finally, he gave up. "I don't know. Somewhere around twenty, I guess." He frowned. "I'm still considered a juvenile. I won't even reach my majority for another ten years!"  
  
"Oh," Navi giggled again. "I'd forgotten about that. I'm 357, myself."  
  
Happy for idle chitchat, Sheik chuckled as well. "My village's chief is around your age."  
  
The fairy flitted up an inch from the end of Sheik'd nose, glowing brightly with the motion of her wings. "Is he cute and two inches tall?" she purred teasingly.  
  
"Actually, she's six foot seven and looks like she's been drinking nothing but vinegar for the last few decades."  
  
"Oh, poo."  
  
Link uttered a small groan and stirred, sitting up. Navi floated back to her charge, and Sheik helped the young man to stand. It seemed easier for Link, now that his leg had gotten a rest. Navi bobbed in the air lazily. "Do you feel any better, Link?"  
  
The hero looked rather distraught, and both Sheik and Navi wondered what he had dreamt. "I want to go home..." He was hardly more than audible; his ten-year-old side making him look smaller and frailer than he was.  
  
[Perfect.] Sheik cleared his throat, reassuming his formal tone. "If you want to return to your original time, return the Master Sword to the Pedestal of Time." [What, do they just tack 'time' onto the end of everything they name?] "By doing this, you will travel back in time seven years..." Link looked past his guide into the room containing the pedestal, but was stopped by a sharp glance from Sheik. [Where do you think you're going, buster; I'm not done yet!] "The time will come when you will have to return here quickly...I will teach this to you for when that time comes..."   
  
Link knew the drill, and fished his ocarina out of...that void place where travelers keep their stuff.  
  
Sheik picked up his harp, cradling it in his left arm. "The song to return you to the Temple of Time...The Prelude of Light."   
  
Link got the song right on the first try; after a few run-throughs he was fairly confident that he would remember it. Sheik nodded, squirreling away his harp and taking a deku seed in his hand. "As long as you hold the Ocarina of Time and the Master Sword, you hold time itself in your hands..." [Not that time is anything more than a man-made theoretical concept...but...] "Link, we shall meet again!" Throwing the seed to the stones, Sheik envisioned his room in Kakariko, pulling into the void and leaving a surprised and very much confused Link and Navi in the Temple of Time.   
  
Navi jangled in irritation. "Why does he DO that?"  
  
Her companion shrugged, limping resolutely to the pedestal and plunging the sword into it. A glaring blue light filled the chamber, and when it receded, the temple was empty. 


	15. The selling of Murry

Y'know, I'm not much of an angst writer, but I saw an episode of the Powerpuff Girls (don't ask), and now I have an idea....*shrug* Whatever.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Roughly twenty-three seconds after Sheik had arrived at his house, he smacked his forehead with rather more force than was necessary. [Ow... Dangit! I forgot about the poe...] Envisioning the ruined bridge of Castletown, Sheik appeared in Hyrule field, looking across the river at the town wall. [Wrong side again...It never works right.] Not too thrilled with the idea of fighting monsters with a harp again, Sheik ran toward the bridge, ignoring the sounds of stalchildren shuffling after him.  
  
Launching himself over the gap in the rotting wood, Sheik instinctively flipped in midair so as to come straight down when he landed. As luck would have it, he misjudged his jump a bit; he landed at the very edge of the opposite planks. The wood there was constantly damp from the water below, and the weight of a grown sheikah was intolerable. With a juicy crunch, the plank Sheik stood on collapsed, dumping him into the river below with a loud splash and an equally loud obscenity. Kicking to the surface, Sheik grumpily swam with the current, working his way over to the bank and hauling himself out of the cold water. Feeling somehow naked, Sheik reached up to find that the bandages around his head and face had been swept away by the water. [Well, this is obviously one of those nights...] Standing with all the dignity he could scrounge up, Sheik heard sniggering from the other bank, and looked up to see a small crowd of stalchildren pointing and laughing. "Oh, get a life!" Sheik hollered crossly, then, rethinking that statement, he muttered, "...Afterlife," and strode regally into the town.  
  
Thankfully, the creepy old man (at least, Sheik thought it was a man) who bought captured poes made his home in the old gatehouse, so Sheik wouldn't have to contend with any redead on his way. Still, the thought of them being so close sped up Sheik's journey to the little hovel considerably.   
  
Stepping inside, Sheik was grateful for the overpowering smell of pipe smoke that filled the room and covered the scent of river water. Across the hazy room, Sheik saw the pile of rags that was, in fact, a person. A glowing red light shone out from the hood of the old man's tattered robe. A staff was clutched in the left hand, which was covered by an over-long sleeve. The man cackled and sat back down, his grip on the staff relaxing. "Ah, no harm in you. Heh heh heh..." Sheik was a bit uneasy already. He had heard that there was a man in Castletown who bought poes, so Sheik wasn't expecting a poster child for sanity; no one living in Castletown could be completely 'there,' and why anyone would need poes was beyond Sheik's grasp. This old man was just....ih. [Does he have dementia or something?]  
  
The old man piped up. "Now, Sheik, leaping to judge strangers isn't very becoming to a young sheikah."   
  
Sheik staggered back a step, and after a moment discovered that he had ceased to breathe. Gasping, Sheik was about to ask a question (if a string of confused grunts and whimpering noises qualifies as a question), but he was cut off by the old man's cackling. He gestured for Sheik to come closer, and Sheik hesitantly complied. "Don't look so shocked; I simply read minds."  
  
"Simply?!" Sheik froze. [If he can....then he'll know about...!] How was he going to get around this? [What if he decides to tell...]  
  
The man sounded very amused. His voice really didn't sound so much old as it did raspy. "Calm yourself. I have no great love for the gerudos and their associates. No great disliking, mind you, but no great love. Your secrets are quite safe with me." Sheik heaved a sigh of relief, and produced his Murry-filled bottle from... Oh, you know what the void thing is. The man took the bottle from Sheik and peered into it appraisingly. "Murry?" he asked. "You named it?" Sheik nodded, a blush creeping into his face. "And you talk to it?" Sheik blushed more deeply.  
  
"No. ...Not much, anyway..."  
  
The still-unseen man cackled again. "I like you, kid. I've never met anyone who treated poes with any respect before. So, I'm going to give you a good deal for this...Murry of yours. How's twenty rupees sound?"  
  
[Twenty! I could find that on the ground!] Sheik huffed in irritation. "Twenty rupees for getting a concussion catching that thing hardly sounds fair. A person could get himself killed fighting those things."  
  
The man nodded. "A person could get himself killed falling off the bridge into the river." Sheik looked at the floor, embarrassed beyond words. The covered man continued. "I'm not made of money, you know. I'd like to know who else would buy a poe from you. Twenty; take it or leave it."  
  
Sheik took it, and the man immediately uncorked the bottle and let the poe flow out of it. "What are you doing?" Sheik yelped. "You'll lose it!"  
  
But the poe didn't seem to go very far. Murry floated around the room, more or less content, judging by the smile that moved around on the flame-like being. The man sat up straight, saying, a bit smugly, "Poes like me." He pointed to one of the torches in the room, around which several other poes drifted. "I take care of them, and they keep me company. I find them more agreeable than people." Sheik nodded politely. "You, however, I don't mind so much."   
  
[My, such flattery...]  
  
"Even though you're a bit rude," the man said pointedly. They were both silent for a minute, and Sheik took that as a hint that he should be going. "Wait," said the man impatiently; Sheik was surprised by the command and stood still. The man sat quiet for a second more, then looked up, the red glow seeming to fix itself upon the door. "The redeads have been getting bold since that forest boy ran through the town teasing them. It would be safer for you to leave when they've gotten a little farther from the gatehouse." Sheik was about to say that he could teleport if it was hazardous outside, but in a rare flash of intuition, he reasoned that the mind reader knew perfectly well that Sheik didn't have to leave by the door. [Perhaps he's lonely. Poes can't be very interesting conversation...]  
  
"You'd be surprised," said the man. Sheik thought bemusedly that he wouldn't get used to that. "But that's what I was aiming for, yes." The man cackled a bit. "How could I pass up an opportunity to talk with a fellow lover of poes?" Sheik was cut off from saying 'I'm really not all that fond of them.' "I was about to have a cup of tea; you'll join me, of course; you've resigned yourself to humoring me already." Sheik shrugged and sat down on a nearby crate. [It's not like I have anything better to do.]  
  
The man limped into the back room, leaning heavily on his staff, and returned shortly with two mugs. He nearly dropped them, but Sheik saw it in time and jumped up to help. "Thanks, my hands aren't very strong."  
  
After about a minute of trying not to burn his tongue on the scalding tea, Sheik heard the man say, "My name is Edgar, by the way."   
  
Sheik extended a hand absently. "Nice to meet you." Edgar leaned back a smidgen and gazed at the proffered hand, befuddled. Sheik grinned. [Ah, sweet vengeance.] "Hylians shake hands when they meet, right? Come on now," Sheik said, mimicking Edgar's voice, "Don't be rude."   
  
A gnarled, misshapen hand clasped his lightly. It wasn't wrinkled, and had no age spots. [Well, that answers the question of age, at any rate.] Sheik raised an eyebrow. "You have a really weak handshake. People must forget that you have hands to shake because you keep them in such long sleeves," he jibed.  
  
The man seemed a bit offended. "At least I have a reason for keeping myself veiled."  
  
Sheik retorted, "Well, if I'm unmasked, I don't think it's very fair that you've covered."  
  
Edgar made a 'pah!' sort of noise and sipped his tea. "Who said life was fair?"  
  
Sheik half-stood and smiled wickedly. Seven years, and his mischievous streak still wasn't gone entirely. "If life isn't fair, then I'll lose no honor by throwing that hood of yours back by force. I can see that I'm the faster and stronger of us."  
  
Edgar seemed to stare incredulously. "You won't."  
  
Sheik stood. "Oh? I have no great love for a cheapskate who only pays me twenty rupees for a poe that might have killed me, and then guilt-trips me into drinking tea with him. WHICH, by the way, doesn't have nearly enough sugar in it."  
  
Edgar sighed and motioned for Sheik to sit. "No need to threaten; I was merely concerned for you. Wouldn't want to traumatize a comely creature like yourself." He said this with no small measure of bitterness.  
  
Sheik waved a hand. "Enough dramatics; it's just a face, for Nayru's sake."  
  
Edgar pulled the hood back, and Sheik had the presence of mind not to gasp or make any startled movement. The red glow was in actuality a red lens tied over Edgar's right eye, like a patch. The left eye wasn't there, as a rough scar covering most of that side of his face testified. The scar also pulled the left side of the poor hylian's mouth up into a permanent grin. The left ear had been amputated about an inch from the side of the head, and the right one grew so that it spiraled back on itself. Curly black hair went some way toward hiding the severed ear, and his moustache and beard were neatly trimmed, despite the fact that no one ever saw them.   
  
Sheik grinned. "There. That wasn't so bad. See, I haven't clawed my eyes out or anything." Edgar shrugged noncommittally. Sheik gulped down his tea; by now it was only warm. "Since I'm a bit rude, may I ask as to what..."  
  
"Caught in a bomb explosion," Edgar said, holding a twisted hand to the scar before pointing to the stub of his ear. "And gangrene. The rest, I was born with."   
  
[Makes sense...] Looking more closely at what he could see of Edgar's left arm, Sheik discerned old burns and scratches. The man finished his own tea.  
  
"Now, what say you take out your harp and play a few songs for the poes," he said in a business-like tone.  
  
"Why," Sheik replied. Quite frankly, he was ready to go home and catch a little nap before morning.   
  
Edgar leaned back and steepled his fingers. "You have had the privilege of looking upon my face and drinking my tea, WHICH, by the way, tastes perfect the way it is."  
  
Sheik sighed. [Whatever...]   
  
It really wasn't bad after the poes had gotten tired of diving between the harp strings in attempts to make Sheik miss notes. Some of the poes seemed to enjoy the music, wafting sleepily through the air, or keeping time with their movements. Edgar must have nurtured this behavior, as he played on a roughly carved wooden flute, harmonizing with the tunes he knew and playing along quietly with new melodies. After a while, he and Sheik switched, Sheik playing harmony to familiar songs and adding new ones to his repertoire. For having hands that looked rather clumsy and deformed, Edgar was a skilled musician.  
  
When they were tolerably played out, the two chatted for an hour more, mostly about mundane things: when they'd started playing, how they'd come across their instruments, the odd temperament of poes, etc. Exciting. [Still,] Sheik thought as he teleported back home, [It's not like I had anything better to do.]  
  
The following week passed uneventfully. Really. It did. After several days of searching through the countryside's weeds, Sheik had come up with just enough money to pay the landlady and buy some food for himself. He had spent most of that day wandering around Kakariko, and hadn't gotten back until late. Sheik had been asleep for about six hours and the sun had not yet risen. He awoke to the sound of footsteps hurrying along the path in front of the house. Curious as to what kind of masochist would be awake at this hour, Sheik crept down the stairs and peeked out the front window...just in time to see none other than Link pass by, apparently on his way to the gate that lead into the mountain path.  
  
[@#$%!] Sheik raced upstairs, tripped over the second to last one, rolled most of the way down again, grabbed the banister to stop himself, stood up, raced upstairs more carefully, and wrapped new bandages around his face and hair. [Thank the Goddesses I've been sleeping in my clothes lately...] He snagged his harp and whip and envisioned the wooden pole, and the sign that pointed toward the goron city.  
  
Landing in the familiar spot, Sheik looked around until he found what he wanted-the path leading to Death Mountain's summit. 


	16. Nothing like credulity!

Whew! This update took forever! Sorry. Between school, illness, and moving my site to a new server (STILL not done!), I haven't had much time left over for writing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"This is utterly ridiculous!" Sheik shouted to no one in particular. This was the twenty-third time (exactly) that he'd been sent running for cover to avoid falling debris and ashes from the volcano's crater. [I'll never get up the stupid mountain at this rate...] Showing an impressive lack of foresight, again, Sheik had neglected to bring any sort of protection against the searing hot rocks besides the clothes on his back. And searing hot rocks really didn't find cloth to be much of a deterrent; on the contrary, they almost seem to like it: it burns so nicely.  
  
Sheik glowered up at the mountain peak. "Stupid volcano," he muttered. "Now I won't be able to get to the freaking top and Link won't know how to unlock the stupid temple and eventually he'll fall in the stupid lava and die and the stupid world will be freaking doomed because I don't have a stupid shield...Stupid freaking volcano!" With that he gave the boulder beside him an enthusiastic kick followed shortly thereafter by an enthusiastic howl of pain as Sheik was reminded that boulders are hard.  
  
"Hooo, I say, old bean, are you having difficulties?"  
  
Kaepora the Rather Large Owl found himself the recipient of stern glare, as Sheik clutched his injured foot. "Do you take some kind of sick pleasure out of dropping in uninvited like that?"  
  
"Uninvited?" Kaepora said, leaning down and twisting his head about. "My word, I had no idea. I heard a voice, and, as you and I are the only people here, I assumed you were talking to me." He twisted his head in the other direction.  
  
Sheik focused his gaze on an unusually interesting pebble.   
  
The owl took that as a sign to continue. "I heard the name Link mentioned." He clacked his beak, seeing that now he had the sheikah's undivided attention. "A young hylian about your age, wears green, overly fond of pointy metal objects; is that the right Link, I hope? Hooo?"  
  
Sheik brightened considerably. "Yeah, yeah, that's him." He narrowed his eyes warily. "How do you know-"  
  
Kaepora silenced him with a friendly buffet over the head with his wing. "Let it be said that some creatures are more than they seem, eh? I have certain...connections, one could say." He waggled the feathers above his eyes. "Strictly confidential, don't you know, lad. Said too much already, I'm afraid." Ignoring the confused glare that comment won, the owl flipped his head upside down and went on. "And some creatures are more than they seem, it seems. You have some business with the hylian as well, eh? Never would have expected it."  
  
"I did have business," Sheik cut in, slightly offended, "but I can't get up the mountain, and..." he trailed off with a hopeless sort of gesture.   
  
The owl nodded, or moved in such a way that suggested assent. "Ah, I see." He rapped gently on Sheik's skull. "Lack of protection from the elements. Your metal-less state is lamentable. You're lucky I happened by, my featherbrained youngster; I was on my way up to the summit. I'm not as young as I used to be, mind, but I could likely as not manage to give a lift to a scrawny scrap like yourself." He ruffled his feathers and spun his head once more.  
  
"You," Sheik started.  
  
"Yes, me."  
  
"Give me a 'lift?'"  
  
"That's right."  
  
Sheik closed his eyes momentarily. "As in: flying?"  
  
Kaepora clacked his beak. "It's how birds generally travel, yes."  
  
Sheik considered this. [The Goddesses can't make anything easy, can they?] "...How?"  
  
The owl lowered his eyelids, speaking slowly and patiently. "Thermals, dear child, thermals. You do understand the basic physics of flight, do you not? Surely."  
  
Sheik thought long and hard. So hard, in fact, that he got a bit dizzy. "Fisicks?" he muttered to himself, utterly baffled.  
  
Owls can't move their eyes in the sockets, so Kaepora had to make do with rolling his entire head a few times with a weary sigh. "What do you know about mathematics, boy?"  
  
[Even birds are taking shots at me today...] Sheik made himself as tall as he could. He did have a better education that most people, so why look ashamed, right? "I can sort of do long division. Not in my head, of course, but..."  
  
The owl was silent for a long, unnerving minute. "Long division, eh? Well, you'll just have to trust me, then. Would it help if I told you I'm a magic owl from the sacred realm?"  
  
Now Sheik just felt patronized. "Not especially."   
  
"Good," Kaepora said tersely. "You just stand...perhaps a bit farther back. Yes, just there will do. Now, hold your arms up, like so," he lifted his wings parallel to the ground. "Very good. Now, hold still; I'll be coming from behind. Helps to get a moving start, don't you know." With that, he rose into the air and swept past Sheik.  
  
Sheik stood nervously. His arms were falling asleep, and all that talk about fisicks and math had chilled him to the bone. [Fisicks...what does he take me for, an alchemist? Of all the wei-Eek!] Sheik found himself quite neatly plucked off the ground, his arms caught in massive talons. The ground dwindled far, far below and the wind whipped his hair around. Sheik's heart hadn't merely leapt into his throat, it was probably right up his nose. Kakariko looked like a little patchwork quilt, or something equally schmaltzy. "Ah...Shadows..." Sheik stammered weakly. Kaepora chattered away blithely, unperturbed by the impossible height.  
  
"Doesn't know about physics, hmmm? Hoo! Why, when I was an owlet, sheikahs were a sight to see, eh? Knew all about physics and chemistry and what-have-you. A race to be proud of, they were. Not like the saucy, ignorant tarts running about these days, dear me, no! Why, in those days, a young sheikah took proper academics, and he was GLAD for it, and better for it. Back then, there were quite a few very accomplished sheikahs: astronomers, architects, healers, artists. Not like now. All they're interested in teaching you fledglings these days is how to kick folks in the back of the neck and turn innocent harp strings into deadly weapons and so on. Long division! Hoot hoot! Barbaric! When all this deposing is done with, we're going to have to do something about the empty space between your ears, Sheik!"  
  
Sheik bore all this with a bland stoicism. Of course, it pays to be polite to someone who's holding you suspended several hundred feet above the jagged rocks below. [When he was an owlet, Hyrule Field was covered in glacial ice...] A gust of hot air smelling of sulfur assailed him, and he glanced down into the crater of Death Mountain.   
  
"Why, I do believe that's your friend down there now!" Kaepora said cheerfully, his sharper eyesight picking out the familiar silhouette of the crimson-clad champion and his spunky sprite sidekick. "Bombs away, eh?" The owl swooped low over the crater, choosing a pillar of rock about twenty feet from where Link was standing. "Off you go, then! Happy trails!" Without further warning, Kaepora released his hold on Sheik's arms. With a courageous shriek, Sheik dropped down to the pillar, miraculously landing on his feet and very nearly scaring Link right off the suspension bridge he was crossing. The hylian regained his footing, one hand clutching his chest.  
  
"Don't DO that!" Link yelled indignantly, shaking like a leaf. Navi pulsed silently above him.  
  
Sheik made a bleary apology. Apparently the heat didn't bother Link; Sheik was finding it a bit difficult to breathe, and everything shimmered in the intense heat. [Perhaps it would be best to do this quickly.] He launched into his next set of instructions. "It is something that grows over time... a true friendship." [Oi...] "A feeling in the heart that becomes stronger over time..." [Let's see how many times I can say time today...] "The passion of friendship will soon blossom into...something...uh..." Sheik squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force his heat-addled brain cells into cooperation. Link couldn't decide whether to be amused or worried by his guide's mental strain. Eventually, Sheik found his derailed train of thought. [Wow, it's hot up here...] "The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a...into a righteous power and through it, you will know which way to go..." [What was I thinking when I thought THAT up?] "This song is dedicated to the power of the heart... Listen to the Bolero of Fire..." Fumbling to get his harp out of that...void thing, Sheik was grateful that the bolero was so achingly simple, otherwise he'd have botched it entirely. [Yes, definitely time to go...] Trusting Link to remember such a simple tune, Sheik put his harp away and took out a deku nut. His head was swimming. "Link...I'll see you again..." [Heh, bye-bye silly green man...Oi, I need to get out of here...]  
  
Link jumped forward a step. "Hey, wait!" He threw up an arm to shield his eyes from the deku nut's flash. When he opened his eyes, he was alone. Wiping the sweat off his brow, he gazed up at Navi in exasperation. "Why DOES he do that?"  
  
The fairy hovered lower, fanning Link's face with her wings. "Beats me. Maybe he's shy?" Her charge's expression wasn't encouraging. She made another attempt to mitigate Link's disappointment. "Or he could be an evil, wicked stalker who must away to his secret fortress deep within the bowels of the earth to plot your painful, squishy demise...Muahahahahaha!" Navi's diabolical cackling didn't have quite the effect she'd intended. Link stared at her like a cow stares at...just about everything, really. She made her hands into little claws. "You may not believe me now, but you'd just better sleep with one eye open, Link. He vants your blood! Ooooooh!"   
  
Link sighed and offered a half-hearted smile. "It's okay, Navi. Forget it." He wandered around for a few minutes, trying to get his bearings. Navi fidgeted impatiently.  
  
"That lousy flake didn't tell us where the door is!" She jangled in irritation.  
  
  
  
Sheik was aware of the sound of gurgling water and harp music. He was lying on what felt like cool stone. Opening his eyes, he saw that he was next to the edge of a fountain, which was being fed by little trickles of water falling down grooves in the black wall. The water itself seemed to be incandescent. [I wonder if I'd glow in the dark if I drank some of it...]   
  
"I wondered when you would awaken. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to play in active volcanoes?"  
  
Sheik sat up with a start, looking all around him for the source of the voice. It finally dawned on him to look up. Floating above the basin of the fountain, wingless, naked save for an odd-looking pair of boots and the ivy that seemed to grow on her, was a pink-haired woman. [I need to get myself to a doctor...] She reclined in the air, playing on a glassy harp. She smiled down at him in amusement, her hair bobbing in an otherworldly current.  
  
Sheik said the first thing that came to mind. "...What?"  
  
The woman's harp turned to water and fell into the fountain, where the music continued. She floated down nearer to Sheik's face. [Hey, so those feathery pink things are eyelashes. Goddesses, one of her eyes must be as big as my fist!] "Heat stroke, you silly thing!" chortled the woman, reaching out a massive hand to ruffle Sheik's hair. "You're very fortunate one of my nieces was there to call me."  
  
"Heat stroke?" Sheik said, befuddled, "But I wasn't even there a minute!"  
  
The woman floated back a little way, sitting with her legs crossed in midair. "It doesn't matter, considering how hot it is out there. The fumes were beginning to overwhelm you, at any rate. You really ought to think these things through a bit more," she scolded. "And my sisters call me an airhead..."  
  
Sheik stared glumly into the water. He could practically see Rauru's steely glare in the back of his mind. There was likely a lecture to go with it. [This is pathetic. He's not even here and I feel like I'm in trouble.]  
  
All around him, from the water, tiny fairies rose, flicking moisture off of their wings. If Navi was a ball of light, these were only dots. "What sort of fairy is it, Mother?" one of them asked shyly.   
  
The woman floated down near the little fairy. "He's not a fairy, dear. That's a sheikah. You remember the races I told you about, don't you?"  
  
"It's funny-looking..." mused one of the dots, hovering so close to one of Sheik's eyes that he felt obliged to close it.   
  
"Ouch!" Sheik rubbed his ear tip where one of the more adventurous fairies had bitten him.   
  
"It tastes icky," said that particular pixie. "Like salty fish!"  
  
The woman waved the dots away. "Oh, go on now, shoo! Let the poor thing have some space. I'm very sorry," she said, "they're teething."  
  
"I guess so," said Sheik, his ear still smarting. "Jeez..." Gradually, a lantern came on in his brain. "Are they yours?"  
  
The woman beamed proudly. "Why yes, they are. Aren't they lovely? Most of them are in the terrible twos at the moment, though. I honestly don't know how to keep up with them most days, they-"  
  
"And you are?" Sheik blurted out. He had some idea, but it was probably marginally more polite to ask.  
  
The woman stared blankly for a moment. "Didn't I say?" Sheik shook his head. "I could have sworn I'd introduced myself... Well, no matter!" She let out a bubbly laugh and settled more comfortably in the air on her stomach. "I am the Great Fairy of Power."  
  
Sheik nodded. "I had an inkling, but, no offence intended...you seem rather..." he searched for diplomatic words, "sizable for a fairy."  
  
The G. F. of P. hummed softly as she considered this. "Size is immaterial. We're all mostly empty space, anyway. Some more than others."  
  
"O...kay." Sheik didn't quite catch on that time. "Look," he said, "It's been nice meeting you, and you've been really helpful, but I think I'd better be getting back-"  
  
"Oh!" the fairy said, so shrilly that Sheik winced. "I nearly forgot; before you go, I have a gift for you."  
  
"Oh, you really don't need-"  
  
"Nonsense," she interrupted once again, "This will take no time at all. Now, just hold still..." She made a sort of frame out of her spread hands and looked at Sheik through it. For his part, Sheik was very seriously considering running away. This wasn't the first time today that he'd been told to 'just hold still...' He didn't get the chance, however, as tendrils of vapor rose out of the fountains, wrapping around him and lifting him clean off the ground. They continued winding around each other as they rose to the ceiling, making a sort of vortex. [Trippy...] It was actually very pleasant, once Sheik got past the panic of finding himself inexplicably weightless.   
  
After a couple minutes, the vapor cleared, setting Sheik gently on his feet. He felt pretty darn good, too. Even little aches that he hadn't noticed were gone. "That's pretty slick," Sheik said, for lack of a more eloquent expression. "Thanks."  
  
The fairy laughed. "You're very welcome. I've taken the liberty of strengthening your magic as well. I do hope you won't have need of it, but the thief suspects something. He's on the move; it's almost as though he is looking for something."  
  
Sheik memorized that tidbit of information. "Really? That's good to know, I suppose..." [Well, the guy hasn't been lazy; I'll give him that.]  
  
The fairy floated down close to Sheik's face again. "And if you're ever in the neighborhood of the zoras, do check in on my sister, will you? She hasn't spoken with the rest of us for some time; I am growing a bit anxious for her. Though be warned, she is a bit...out there." Sheik nodded dutifully. She grinned. "How sweet of you! All right then, ta ta!"  
  
Sheik thanked her again and teleported back to his home. The fairy watched him go. "What a nice boy," she remarked to one of her children. "About as sharp as a soggy pancake...but nice."  
  
  
  
[Cool...] Sheik had never had such an easy time teleporting. Those Great Fairies knew their stuff... He was just about to search the klivingchen for something that would serve as food, when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Sheik spun, ready for a fight, and saw...Rauru sitting in a chair by the fireplace. Sheik lowered his hands. "...Um...Hello, Your Excellency."  
  
"Hello, Sheik. I trust you gave the Hero his instructions?" He raised one eyebrow, as much as to say: Please tell me you're at least semi-competent.  
  
Sheik smiled a bit too cheesily. "Yep! Sure did! He's very instructed!"  
  
Rauru let it go; he was fairly certain he didn't want to know the details, not with his blood pressure the way it was lately. "I'll take your word for it. I suppose you're wondering why I'm in your house?"  
  
"Well," Sheik said nervously, "to be honest...yes."  
  
Rauru stood. "It seems that Ganondorf hasn't been sitting idle these past weeks," he lowered his voice, "He suspects something."  
  
[Just like the Great Fairy said! Whee! I'm in the circle!] "Yes, Your Excellency."  
  
Rauru made a vague gesture to the south. "If you would accompany me to Lake Hylia, you shall see the problem."  
  
Sheik fidgeted. The Light Sage had a distinctly odd way of traveling that Sheik wasn't too fond of. "If it's all the same to you, Sir, could I perhaps meet you there?"  
  
Rauru sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. [Oh, great. I've done it now...] "Sheik," Rauru said, nearly making the name's owner leap out of his skin, "I hate to resort to such measures, I really do, but," he reached into his pocket and removed an oval something wrapped in cloth, letting the scent waft across the room, "I have a meatloaf sandwich." Sheik was all ears. "And you can have it," Rauru went on, mentally rebuking himself for being so underhanded, "if you cooperate and come with me." Rauru plastered on a smile and covered his wince at making himself sound like some deranged kidnapper.  
  
A small war was being fought in Sheik's mind between Hunger and Self-Preservation. [Let's see...Lunch...Safety...Luuunch...Saaafety.........Lunch.] "Okay."   
  
Rauru sighed, tossed the sandwich into Sheik's waiting hands, and the two vanished. 


	17. Of meatloaf sandwiches, floating, and mi...

"This," Rauru said, indicating the flickering Memory of Lake Hylia several dozen feet below with a stately sweep of his arm, "was Lake Hylia two days ago." Floating in a surprisingly dignified way, the Sage of Light and his agent studied a happy, healthy looking recording of Lake Hylia, the latter munching on a meatloaf sandwich. Sheik nodded absently, trying to bribe his upset stomach with the best meatloaf either of them had ever had. It was working, although only grudgingly on the stomach's part.   
  
It wasn't the fact that he was high in the air that was eliciting protest from Sheik's internal organs. Rather, it was the manner in which he'd come to be in that state. While Rauru couldn't teleport (and WOULD not teleport), he could think, and move, at the speed of light. True, a person could go places very quickly at the speed of light, but the question was, did they really want to? [Oi...] One of the drawbacks of moving at light-speed was the tiny detail that one's body had a tendency to pull apart and stretch into a thin line spanning several miles. Sheik had more or less caught up with himself (though he wasn't quite sure his inner ear was completely accounted for), but he was recovering from the motion sickness to end all motion sickness.  
  
Rauru, on the other hand, was unfazed and ready to get down to business. "Sheik!" he barked sharply.  
  
Sheik nearly dropped his sandwich, but caught it out of the air in the very skin of the nick of time. [Phew...] "Huh?"  
  
"Pay attention!"  
  
"I am," Sheik replied through a mouthful of food (which, of course, meant that it sounded a lot more along the lines of 'Iumf.')  
  
"Now," Rauru said, with another pass of his hand. "What strikes you about the lake today?" The Memory fell away, and Sheik nearly choked as he found himself looking at a sizable rain puddle.  
  
This time, Sheik really did drop the remains of his sandwich. "Wha... Where did all the water go?!" Literally thousands of gallons were missing.  
  
Rauru nodded. "That's exactly what the zoras said. The River Zora has all but run dry."  
  
"But, how?" Sheik stared down at Sump Hylia. "Rivers don't just dry up!"  
  
"No, no, they don't." Rauru lowered them to the ground. "However, there is an explanation, as you will likely find." He handed Sheik a pair of mittens. They were powder blue with little pink roses and white bunnies.  
  
Sheik held the...knit items at arm's length. "What are these for, might I ask?" [My eyes...they burn...]  
  
Rauru shrugged. "They were the only pair I could find. I want you to go to Zoras' Domain. I have an uneasy premonition concerning Princess Ruto. You'll know her when you see her; make sure she's safe."  
  
All of this was straining Sheik's brain cells. Out of mercy, he decided not to tax them; it wouldn't make a difference anyway. "All right..." He got ready to teleport to the nearest place he'd been to the domain. Rauru halted him.  
  
"You may want to take some antifire with you."  
  
Sheik sighed and nodded.   
  
Rauru rolled his eyes, pulled a few rupees out of his endless pocket, and tossed it into Sheik's hands. "Stop making that face. There, that's enough for one candle's worth. Don't waste it."  
  
"I know," Sheik answered, and left. [Like I'm going to just pour it out on the ground...Jeez...] Reappearing in a convenient alleyway in Kakariko, Sheik nonchalantly breezed into the potion shop...  
  
And dashed out again very quickly, trembling like a leaf in a stiff wind. [Of all the lousy timing...!] Victor was in there. Good Goddesses, couldn't Zelda keep her adolescent hormone weirdness to herself? Taking several deep breaths, Sheik steeled himself for what was going to be yet another foray into the depths of madness... [Okay, so Victor's in there. It's just Victor. He's just a person. I'm almost a grown man; I can handle this.] The pep talk continued for some minutes... [...That's right, Sheik; just assert yourself. Mind over...other mind. It'll all be over in a couple minutes. What am I nervous about? I am mighty sheikan warrior...apprentice...type...person. Yes! I am mighty! I am the MAN! And away I go!] And away he went.  
  
Inside the potion shop, Victor, the clerk, was having a very good day. It was quiet, there hadn't been too many customers, but there had been enough to keep things relatively interesting. And there was a good chance that his employer would give him a half-holiday tomorrow. He was leaning against the counter, daydreaming about sleeping in, catching up on his reading, not having to be at the shop until the afternoon, when he was jarred out of these happy visions by someone walking through the door. Upon recognizing who this latest customer was, our poor clerk stifled a groan of sheer agony and plastered a pained smile on his face. "Can I...help...you?"  
  
Sheik half-opened his mouth to speak, but seemed to have misplaced the nerves that controlled his tongue. [Perfect. So much for asserting myself. This is so embarrassing...] "Ah..." [Yes! It's a start! Pull yourself together, doofus!] "Um..." Sheik was by this time blushing right out to his ear-tips. For reasons unknown, he also uttered a sound that could only have been described as a titter. [D'oh!]  
  
Victor raised one eyebrow and sighed a despondent sort of sigh. "Do you need something?"  
  
Sheik's efforts to suppress Zelda's...emotions must have only made the nuisance worse; he felt a little swimmy now. [Isn't there any other place that sells this cursed... What was it I was buying? Mittens? I have those... Candles? Antifire!] "I need...some antifire..." [Go, me!] Sheik managed to stammer out the required words, and than added a nervous giggle, quite by accident. His eyes were watering.  
  
Victor watched this display with a sort of calm, resigned horror. To be perfectly honest with himself, it WAS a little bit flattering that at least one person in the world became a gibbering wreck with knees the consistency of pudding on seeing him. It just would have been a lot more flattering if said person was of a more...busty persuasion. Victor had heard a lot of things about sheikahs, and this odd little man had proved about half of them true. The sheikah looked up at him expectantly, like a dog that doesn't know whether it's going to be scritched behind the ears or smacked with the proverbial rolled up parchment paper. He just couldn't bring himself to be sharp with the little weirdo, it would be like kicking a blind kitten. Victor sighed again; he had a feeling he was going to be doing that a lot today. "Is that all?"  
  
Sheik nodded and offered a shaky grin.  
  
"I think there's some in the back, just a moment." With that, Victor made good his temporary escape, leaving Sheik to flop down onto the floor out of sheer mental exhaustion.   
  
[Okay...Okay, nearly done. Just pay the man, take the candle, and leave.] Much to his consternation, Sheik was still blushing as red as his eyes, and his heart was racing. He pressed his palms against his temples and took a few deep breaths. "Get out of my head..." he muttered absently, fervently cursing the day Zelda laid eyes on the clerk, or any other one of her little crushes, for that matter. He was nearly frightened out of whatever wits he had left when Victor leaned over the counter, candle in hand, with a vaguely concerned look on his face.  
  
"Am I interrupting something important?" he asked, not really expecting or wanting an answer.  
  
"............Um..." said Sheik, in not quite a flash of sudden eloquence.  
  
Victor realized that he could have the entire conversation done with on his own before Sheik could get lungs, vocal chords, tongue, and lips all lined up and in agreement on a suitable reply, and decided to keep going. "Here's the candle. Sixty rupees." As an afterthought, he tried to mask the reluctance in his voice as he offered, "Do you need help getting up...off the floor?"  
  
Something seemed to click into place in the sheikah's addled brain. "No, no that's all right. I'm fine. It's good," he stuttered hurriedly, and jumped up.  
  
Or gave standing up the old college try. In his rush to get up, that part of Sheik's brain that coordinated his skeletal muscle system momentarily forgot about his right ankle. He leapt up very quickly, gave a shocked sort of yelp, and sat down very quickly. And so he sat there, giggling uncontrollably and shedding a few accidental tears of utter teenage-Zelda-esque humiliation. He also caught himself 'Wishing that he could just, Oh, Farore, crawl into a hole, and just, like, totally die, for sure...'  
  
Victor wasn't quite sure what to think about all this. Some small part of his subconscious found it amusing, in it's own tragic, deranged sort of way. "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
Sheik nodded, and fished sixty rupees out of...well, you should know where by now, and set it down on the floorboards beside him. "...Yeah. Fine...Just.........Just hand the candle down here, would you?" He hoped he didn't sound as near-hysterical as he thought he did.  
  
Victor gazed bemusedly at the outstretched hand, then to the money on the floor, and set the candle very carefully onto the sheikah's palm. "Is that all?" he said, out of habit.  
  
Sheik occupied himself with finding a deku nut and not looking in Victor's general direction. "...Yes. Yeah, that's...that's it. ...Thanks," he said, as finding a suitable nut, he threw it down to the floorboards. [Ha! There, that wasn't so bad now, was it? Oi...]  
  
When the little spots stopped dancing in front of Victor's eyes, he looked down to where the sheikah had been. After a minute or so he sighed and walked around the counter to pick up the money.  
  
Once Sheik had regained some semblance of normalcy, he looked about himself. The river Zora had slowed to a turgid, muddy trickle, and there was a strange bite in the air. [It feels like autumn here...] He sat watching the river (though it was really more of a creek now) for a while, recovering from the unwelcome shock of all those...emotional...whatsitscalleds. He counted his blessings in that he couldn't feel them on his own; he didn't know how hylians dealt with it. All that coming-of-age garbage was beyond him. [I suppose I'd better get going, then...] He passed a few sickly-looking octoroks, but they only watched him go by with lethargic complacency, too dried out and lazy to bother defending their feeding grounds. As if there was much to defend these days.  
  
After about an hour's journey, Sheik clambered up onto the tree trunk that led to the entrance of the zoras' home. The waterfall wasn't even worth stopping: it wasn't even flowing in front of the doorway, and if it had been, it was too small to pose much of a deterrent. Now that Sheik held still for a bit, he noticed a cold breeze wafting out at him. [Now, that's weird.] He'd only been to the domain once before, years ago, but he was pretty certain that the caverns, if not warm, were only mildly cool. He was looking forward to seeing it again. [I wonder what Rauru is so worried about... I guess I'll have to ask someone when I get there.]   
  
Having gotten his breath back, Sheik steeled himself for the jump to the doorway. Now that the river was so low, jumping short would have serious consequences. Crunchy, splattery consequences. He took a deep breath, kicked off the tree as hard as he could, and landed more or less on his feet inside the entrance. The air was definitely colder here... Sheik continued through the tunnel-like entrance hallway and emerged into the main cavern.  
  
For a moment, his mind couldn't register just what the significance of everything being frozen was, but he knew why the breeze had been so chilly. Very carefully, he took out his mittens and slipped them on. "Great Golden Goddesses..." he whispered, not realizing that he had used an adorably cheesy alliteration. There were no zoras to be seen, which, Sheik decided, was better than seeing, say, zoras frozen under the ice, still wearing expressions of bewilderment and horror. Sheik heaved a sigh, and watched the steam billow into the air. [Even the waterfall is frozen...]  
  
When the initial shock had worn off (which took the better part of an hour), Sheik stopped milling around and gawking at the ice, and began to pick his way carefully up the many ramps that would eventually lead to the zoran throne room. Now and then, he stepped in a patch of black ice, and skidded down a few feet until he could regain his footing. He was fully expecting the throne room to be empty as well, so one can imagine his surprise when he walked through the door and saw King Zora himself, in all his corpulent and slightly tuna-scented glory, just as Sheik remembered.  
  
Well, not quite as Sheik remembered. The red ice that encased His Ineffably Damp Majesty was a new addition. [He must still be alive in there...] Sheik was a fairly pathetic student in magical lore, but he did remember antiice. It was red, just as antifire was blue, and it was also warm to the touch, but excruciatingly cold on the inside, and therefore able to keep a living creature in a sort of suspended animation. It was actually pretty nifty, but Sheik doubted that the king shared this sentiment. [Is he who I bought the antifire for? I only have one candle...] Thinking it over, Sheik decided to find Princess Ruto first; Rauru had clearly said not to waste the antifire, and besides, it wasn't as though the king was going anywhere. He'd been sedentary enough when he wasn't frozen in an icy prison...  
  
Cautiously edging around the king, Sheik set off toward Jabu Jabu's spring, assuming that that was as good a place to start looking for the princess as any.   
  
Outside, it was snowing. It wasn't a windblown, wet, determined snow. It was very light, just a sprinkling, but Sheik found himself annoyed with it, for some reason. It seemed smug. It was the kind of snow that said 'It's bloody freezing out here, you know that, I know that, so I'm just going to take my time here and savor it. You should have worn a sweater.' Pulling his mask closer about his face, Sheik shivered, sneezed once or twice, and set off near the bank of the spring, watching the ice floes drift along in the water and wondering where he'd be if he was a zoran royal.   
  
As it happened, where he'd be was right where he was currently walking, so he didn't have very far to look. Princess Ruto wasn't so much right under Sheik's nose as she was right under his feet, a fact that sent our hero sprawling onto the ground. Twisting around and sitting up to see what dastardly piece of the landscape had tripped him up, he smiled sheepishly. [That didn't take long.] Apparently, if Sheik had been a zora royal, he'd be frozen in antiice while kneeling down to look into the water where Jabu Jabu, the zoras' shiftless sacred whale...ish...creature used to reside.   
  
It had to be Princess Ruto. For one thing, the shape of her face was somewhat similar to that of King Zora's, or would have been if any of the king's facial bones were visible. She also had a deeper hue in her scales than any of the other zoras Sheik was familiar with, had shorter cephalocautals*, and much more elaborate fins. [That'll be her, than, I guess...]   
  
Taking out his anitfire candle, Sheik carefully held it to the red ice, keeping it far enough away from the zora's scales so that they wouldn't be frostbitten or singed when the ice melted away. It took a good half hour, but finally the majority of the ice was gone. Sheik was working on the last of it when Ruto woke up enough to realize that a strange, fuzzy creature was fussing with her left pelvic fin. With a panicked screech, she lashed out with the spiny fins on her arms. Hearing this, Sheik had the presence of mind to duck down before his face was given an introduction to fish bone. "Eek!"  
  
Ruto stood a few paces away. She had been about to run, but stopped when she remembered the shrill scream of her big, scary attacker. Her eyes drifted to the now-snuffed antifire candle, to the dribble of melting red ice on her fin, to the shivering mammal crouched in the snow, and back to the candle.  
  
Meanwhile, Sheik was shielding his face with his hands and had his eyes squeezed shut. [Ohhhhhh, dear...] He hadn't much liked the zora's idea of a greeting. That fin was pretty hefty, and he'd felt the wind off of it. It had also whistled.   
  
"Did you get me out of that ice?"  
  
Sheik warily looked up. The zora stood with her arms crossed, and a stern look on her face that suggested that she'd like and answer right now, if you please. "Um...Yes?" He thought for a moment. "You don't mind, do you?" he added.  
  
The zora's face softened. "Then you...you really did save me? You went to all that trouble?"   
  
Sheik didn't see how holding a candle under some ice was going to a lot of trouble. Although, getting the candle had been a walk through all thirty-nine exquisite hells of the Fierce One... "Well, yeah. That's sort of what I do; lately, at least..." He stood slowly.  
  
The zora caught sight of the insignia on Sheik's clothing. "Oh, you're a sheikah, aren't you." She smiled. "Of course, I'm not surprised. I am a princess, after all." She extended a scaly hand.   
  
Not entirely sure what was expected of him, Sheik shook her hand politely. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ruto. Ma'am. Your Highness."  
  
Rather than being offended, Ruto laughed. It wasn't exactly a ladylike giggle, either; it was more of a chortle. "I think I like you. I'd always thought that sheikahs were more...serious. I also thought they were taller, but..." She shrugged. "One can't have everything."  
  
Sheik made a little 'hmph' sound in the back of his throat. [What a thankless job this is...] "I was told to make sure you were safe. Is there anywhere you could go that isn't..." he gestured, "stinking cold?"  
  
She screwed up her face for a minute. "Well... Now that you mention it, it is chilly..." She thought for a little while. Sheik stood there shivering and wishing she'd think faster. "If anything has caused this, then like as not it's started from the temple. Perhaps we've angered the gods somehow. Yes, that sounds likely. ...Especially since that little incident with the bass and the bucket of mustard seed..."  
  
Sheik decided that he didn't want to know. Some things aren't meant for mammalian comprehension. "Shall I take you to Lake Hylia, then?"  
  
Princess Ruto stood up straight. "I should think not! I'm perfectly capable of swimming there myself, you know. I'm not a child!"  
  
Sheik tried to be diplomatic, more for the sake of his own health than anything. "Actually, Your Highness, I don't think you'll get there with any amount of expediency without a set of ice-skates. No offence meant." He offered his hand. "I swear, this will be a lot faster."  
  
Ruto stared at the bemittened hand for a long while as though it was diseased. With all the bunnies and roses, it might as well have been. But in the end, she took it, with a sigh. "I don't know what you expect to accomplish by holding my hand. You'd better not be getting fresh, mammal," she warned. A second later, she uttered a startled squeak, which was abruptly cut off as sheikah and zora took their leave of the domain. It was a very unorthodox way to travel...  
  
Sheik had used the latest memory of Lake Hylia that he had had. This was, Sheik thought to himself, rather lamentable, seeing as his latest memory was a bit of a bird's eye view.   
  
Dozens of feet above the surface of the wasted lake, a guay was innocently flying along, when a puzzled-looking sheikah and an equally befuddled zora woman somehow appeared in the air right in front of it. Cawing loudly, the bird swerved to miss them, looking back at the spectacle over its wing. Guays were intelligent birds, and this one in particular knew that the big, gangly, four-limbed things that crawled around on the ground and swam in the water most definitely didn't fly, and certainly didn't just appear out of nothingness! It was still looking over its wing when it smacked into the roof of the Lakeside Laboratory...  
  
Meanwhile, gravity, which had also been put off by the sudden appearance of the pair, gathered its wits and started working again. As Sheik and Ruto plummeted screaming toward the lake, either of them would have sworn up and down that gravity was overcompensating.  
  
*ker-SPLOOSH!*  
  
Sheik bobbed up to the surface (thought 'clawed and fought and flailed wildly' would be more accurate than 'bobbing'), sputtering and choking. He threw in a few choice words spoken very loudly for good measure. Water looked a lot softer than it was when hitting it at high velocity. It was like falling onto a mattress stuffed with bricks. Headfirst. [@#$%!*^%$............@#$%!!!]  
  
Ruto, who had had the forethought to hit the water in a dive, rose to the surface in comparative calm. "Well, that was..." she caught the look on Sheik's face and changed her choice of words slightly, "...exhilarating. You dive like this a lot, do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
She glanced around and whistled a bit. "Hmmm... The lake's quite low, isn't it? I suppose it's no surprise, what with home being frozen and all..." There was an awkward silence. "Oh, look! I can see the temple entrance from here! Well, thank you so much, I really must be going; goodbye!" She dove and sped away.  
  
Sheik floated on the water for a while, waiting for the stinging sensation and the ringing in his ears to go away. 


	18. Ooh, foreshadowing

Sheik had allowed himself to doze off, and his quiet, rocking, peaceful little naptime was very rudely interrupted by a voice and a sharp jab in the ribs that sent him choking on no small amount of lake water in his surprise.  
  
"You dead?"  
  
There was a short pause as whoever spoke waited for Sheik to wake up and remember where the air was.  
  
"I guess not."  
  
Still coughing, Sheik aimed a bedraggled glare toward the voice. It would have had more effect if his hair hadn't draped over his eyes like a soggy curtain. Lifting one hand to pull his bangs out of the way, he saw the male zora that was treading water a few feet away, looking half concerned, half amused.  
  
Sheik didn't really know what to say. Getting a zora too angry while in the water with it isn't generally a prudent thing to do. He blinked and snuffled in indignation for a second, trying to clear the water out of his windpipe.  
  
"Why did you need to jab me so hard?" Not the most relevant of questions, but there it was.  
  
The zora shrugged. "I thought you might be dead. You wasn't movin'."  
  
Biting back a sharp retort and a lecture on the virtues of checking to see if someone is breathing before assuming that they are a corpse, Sheik instead huffed and began swimming toward the small island standing in the middle of the decimated lake. To his great irritation, the zora swam alongside him, moving on his side in what could only be described as a leisurely amble.   
  
"Saw you fallin'."  
  
"Good for you." Sheik wasn't in the best of moods for company. He'd just endured the belly-flop of death, and had nearly drowned himself because of some simpleton poking him in the ribs. And the zora didn't seem too quick on taking hints.  
  
"You a sheikah?"  
  
[Go away. Shoo! I'm willing you away with my mind powers...] "Yes." He only wished that he had the guts to be rude and simply ignore his companion. [Curse my polite upbringing! If only I'd been raised by wolves...in a barn...with the door always left open, no less...] The zora was quiet for a while, and as Sheik reached the island and hauled himself up onto dry land he dared to hope that the pest would lose interest and go away.  
  
Unfortunately, the zora followed, jumping up out of the water to land rather heavily on the ground. In a gesture of passive resistance, Sheik flopped down on his stomach in the sun and feigned sleep. A minute or two passed. [Is he gone? I don't hear-]  
  
"I always thought they was taller."  
  
[Drat!] Sheik made a small, questioning grunt.  
  
"Sheikahs, I mean. Taller. You's a bit shrimpy."  
  
Cracking one presently baleful eye, Sheik cast a dour look at the zora, who was sitting gerudo-style against the stunted tree that sat on the island, his cephalocaudal flicking from side to side lazily. "Yes, that is odd. And I always thought zoras were quieter."   
  
For a moment or two, the zora was quiet, then: "You here to see to the lake?"  
  
Sheik raised one eyebrow. "What are you babbling on about?"  
  
Tipping his head to on side, the zora explained. "Well, my mum always used to tell us stories when we was fry, and all the sheikahs in 'em had big, important things to do, quests and missions and all that. Is that what you's doin'?  
  
From his place on the ground, Sheik sighed and shook his head, which was a little tricky while lying on his stomach. "No. I just misjudged a teleportation and fell into the lake. Sorry to disappoint you," he added, seeing how crestfallen the zora became.  
  
"So..." the zora said softly, "the domain's not gonna thaw?"  
  
Sheik closed his eyes again, hoping that the zora would take it as a hint to leave. "I wouldn't get my hopes up too high. You'll just have to wait and see, like everyone else." He heard the scrape of scales as the zora shifted position.  
  
"Can't the sheikah come and help?" The question was asked timidly, as though the zora was worried about causing offence. Sheik wondered for a moment how old the creature was; not very, for the zora didn't exercise much restraint on his tongue. He wasn't all that tactful, either.  
  
"You wouldn't want us to. Besides, there's not a lot we'd be able to do, about the lake or anything else, besides make more trouble." [And it would certainly ruin the mystique for you, to find out that we're just like everybody else.]   
  
"Oh," said the zora. There was a pause. "Name's Ito by the way. Yours?"  
  
Sheik sighed again. [Maybe if I give in and talk for a while he'll go away...] "Sheik."  
  
"...Is that a nickname? Sheik what?"  
  
Hoisting himself up to a sitting position, Sheik gave the zora a weary glance. "No, it's my name. Whole thing."  
  
The zora looked thoughtful. "Mind if I ask why?"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Sheik replied, "Might as well, since you're here." He shrugged. "I wasn't born into a kym*, a...what's it called, a family; I was raised by a village temple, so I don't have a surname, and they didn't go to a whole lot of trouble with my first name. I was named after someone from some folk tale, or something." Then, since he'd been forced into a bit of self-disclosure, Sheik turned the question around. "And you? How'd you end up with 'Ito'?"  
  
The zora beamed. "It was a random collection of letters that made a pleasing sound. That's what mum said, anyway."  
  
[Of course.] After several minutes more of such conversation, Sheik concluded that the zora was not going to leave him alone anytime soon. Ito had a surprisingly long attention span, and wanted very much to learn all he could about his favorite 'exotic' race. Sheik didn't know he was exotic, but he did know that he'd had all the entertainment he could stand for one day.   
  
Feeling a little less sore, and lulled into a semi-contented haze by the warm sun, Sheik felt around in the void thing for a deku nut. [Hmm... Must have used them all...] "Oh well." The zora looked puzzled. Sheik made a point of speaking before his companion had a chance to. "Well, Ito, it's been...something, but I think I should be going." [Tired...crabby...] Picturing his little bedroom in Kakariko, Sheik oozed off into the void, leaving Ito gasping like, at the risk of sounding snide, a fish out of water.   
  
Appearing in his current favorite place in the world, Sheik flopped down on his bed, staring lazily up at the ceiling for a few minutes before dozing off. Aiding maidens in distress and falling from stupefyingly great heights certainly was tiring.   
  
The following day the part of Sheik's brain that was concerned with such things as filial/fraternal loyalty and assorted family issues decided that a visit to Zelda was in order. After looking through the pitifully bare cupboards in the klivingchen, the part of Sheik's brain that was concerned with such things as the stomach agreed, and off Sheik went.  
  
Widow Spinkly, despite being blind, was the first to notice Sheik's presence.   
  
"Zoe," she called, "your cousin's here!" She went back to measuring powders for a potion.  
  
Our hero was impressed. With raised eyebrows, he asked, "How did you know it was me?" [It's not like I used the door...]  
  
The old woman didn't look up from her work (not that it would have made a difference). "I can tell by the smell."  
  
Sheik was even more impressed. [So that's what that huge nose is for.] "Like, you can recognize everyone's unique scent, right?"  
  
"No, you just stink." At her time of life, Widow Spinkly didn't see that she could afford to mince words.  
  
"Oh." Most people who didn't know Widow Spinkly would have been offended, but most of Kakariko was aware that the potions-mistress was nearing one hundred, and was a crabby, caustic old bat. She was rude and scathing to everyone in the world except Zelda, the late gravedigger, and the crazy homeless organ-grinder who lived in the windmill. 'The rest of you ninnies,' she would often say, 'can sod off.' There was something about her that could leave a person feeling very stupid and inadequate. Sheik, however, was used to feeling stupid and inadequate, so he got by all right.  
  
Zelda appeared from the back room, took a split second to aim and make the proper trajectory calculations, and launched herself at Sheik, catching him in a tight hug. That was over very quickly, because she jumped back, pinched her nose shut daintily with two fingers, and exclaimed, "Sheik, you stink!" Only, with her nose plugged, it sounded more like: "Sheeg, du stig!"  
  
The olfactory-offensive sheikah pouted. "Well, if I'm so upsetting, maybe I should just leave."  
  
Zelda rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm sorry," (she had released her nose by now), "but you do stink. What happened to you?"  
  
Widow spinkly turned on an alcohol burner. "Yes, do tell us what you rolled in today, boy."  
  
[How to explain this safely?] Sheik scratched the back of his head. "I went swimming in the lake."  
  
"Water's low in that lake," said Spinkly, holding a dish of something-or-other over the flame of the burner with a pair of tongs. "Low as it's ever been. The old coot living down by the shore told me all about it just last Wednesday. Not more than fifteen feet in the middle, at the outside."  
  
"Oh, well no wonder," said Zelda, "that water must be filthy. Now that you mention it, I think I can place that smell." She leaned a bit closer to Sheik (who in turn leaned a bit farther away), and crinkled her nose. "Stagnant water and fish. Why did you want to swim in that? Normally you can't even stand to have any dirt under your fingernails."   
  
"A wild desire took me." Sheik shrugged. He could explain later, perhaps.  
  
Zelda nodded, letting the matter drop. "So, what brings you here?"  
  
Sheik glared. "Why do I need a reason? Can't I miss my cousin? Why do you think I have some sort of ulterior motive?"  
  
Zelda laughed, politely. "Methinks you protest too loudly."  
  
"Just feed him. It's always food with that boy. Give him something so he can leave and I can concentrate on this potion before I blow the whole building and all of us to the Goddesses."   
  
"All right, ma'am." Zelda laughed again and led Sheik into the back room. Sheik glared sourly at Widow Spinkly.  
  
Without looking up, Spinkly added a pinch of something pink to her potion and said, "Wipe that look off your face. Don't put on airs with me, feller-me-lad; I was old while you were still a twinkle in your mother's eye."  
  
Sheik did wipe that look off his face. It was replaced by an incredulous gape. [How does she do that?!]  
  
More or less out of earshot in the back room, Sheik tried not to inhale his food too quickly while he talked with Zelda.  
  
"So," Zelda began primly, "what really happened today that she didn't need to hear?"  
  
Looking up from his bowl a little guiltily, Sheik slurped up an errant noodle. Taking care to swallow his food before he answered (he didn't need another lecture on THAT), he said, "Well, I really did swim in the lake." He then recounted the events of the day, bending the truth here and there when he came to an embarrassing bit. Unfortunately, he couldn't help remembering his and Ruto's fall into Lake Hylia, and Zelda picked up on it.  
  
{Aha! So that's how you 'went swimming.' I wondered about that.} Zelda fought to turn raucous guffaws into ladylike giggling, and the result was very odd.   
  
Sheik glowered down at his meal. "Oh, shut it; there's a first time for everything, you know."  
  
If anything, this only amused Zelda further. "Only," she gasped out, before finally regaining enough control to continue, "Only, this isn't the first time. Remember, when Impa was teaching you how to teleport, and-"  
  
"Not this again," Sheik interrupted, rolling his eyes.  
  
Zelda ignored him, "And you got yourself stuck halfway through a tree? And she had to fetch you out herself before you suffocated? She called you her little dryad for a whole month!" She laughed again, hugging her sides.  
  
"It wasn't that funny," Sheik retorted snappishly, "I could have been... Besides, I was only ten! You wouldn't have done any better."  
  
"And then four years ago, you accidentally teleported yourself onto one of the windmill blades, and you were so panicked you couldn't get down, and Impa had to ask the miller to stop the blades long enough for you to climb down." Tears streamed down Zelda's cheeks as she remembered her terror-stricken friend clinging to the wooden frame of the blade, and the crowd that came to watch as Impa tried to maneuver said blade closer to the ground.  
  
To be honest, in retrospect, that particular mishap was sort of...funny, in a way. Finding some ammunition for himself, Sheik grinned. "I also seem to remember a certain hylian casting a spell on a soup spoon-"  
  
"Oh, that was ages ago!" Zelda protested.  
  
"You broke every window in the house, and the neighbors never did figure out what they'd seen flying through the streets, but everyone was afraid to go outside for days and days." Sheik fought to speak around fits of chuckles. Zelda flushed crimson, then laughed softly herself, both of them recalling the village almost completely shutting down for a week because of a spoon.   
  
"We never did find that spoon," Zelda mused.  
  
Sheik shrugged. "I'd say it's still going. It could be halfway to Holodrum by now."   
  
About half an hour later, as Sheik was leaving, Zelda coughed to get his attention.  
  
{I saw Link early this morning, by the way. I'm sure it was him; it's not often that fairies travel with hylians, and I'd recognize that hat anywhere.} Sheik had the presence of mind not to look as though he'd heard anything. {If he's still in town, could you see if you can find him? He should know that the guard here isn't too enthusiastic about people carrying weapons.}  
  
Giving a very slight nod to show that he'd heard (making sure he did it when Widow Spinkly had her head turned away: you never could tell exactly how blind she was) Sheik closed the door behind him, blinking a few times to adjust to the bright sunlight. [Well, he certainly didn't waste any time.]  
  
Look as he might, Sheik couldn't find the green-clad hylian anywhere. After a couple of hours, he'd satisfied himself that Link was nowhere in the town, and wandered off to do something else. Seeing two of Dominic's goons slouching by the front door of the house, he wandered quickly in the other direction.  
  
Eventually, he came to what was, more or less, the town square. It was a patch of land between the entrance and the well that contained exactly one tree, one large rock, several weeds, and the twins. The twins were two of the many refugees from Castletown, and hadn't quite made the adjustment from life in a busy metropolis to life in...well...Kakariko. For one thing, they were a little irritated that their new home contained only one tavern. They weren't real heavyweights when it came to sense, either, but Sheik got along with them well enough, and he craved a normal conversation with comparatively normal people after the day he'd had, not to mention all the days before it.   
  
"Well, well, well, dear brother, look who it is!" said Marcus, the younger twin, on seeing Sheik emerge from the cluster of buildings that made up the western portion of the town. "If it isn't the masked minstrel, the sly sheikah, the haughty harper who has no time for us anymore, he's so busy giving the captain pains. What have you been up to, friend? My brother and I were hypothesizing that perhaps you'd taken to coming and going by night."  
  
"What I've been up to is my business, Marcus, you bag of hot air," Sheik replied, not without humor. Marcus laughed; his brother, Taran, only smiled.  
  
"Won't tell, eh?" said Marcus with a wink, smoothing his goatee with his fingers. "Suspicious. Very shady. Perhaps he's up to something the guard wouldn't approve of, brother. Slandering the king, preaching to the downtrodden, inciting riots among the malcontented masses?"  
  
Sheik rolled his eyes. Taran spoke. "He doesn't seem the rabble-rousing sort, brother."   
  
Marcus didn't miss a beat. It was a wonder that either Sheik or Taran slipped a word in edgewise in any of their conversations. "Ah, of course, of course. Yes..." He paced, stroking his chin, then stopped to cast a conspiratorial glance at his brother. "Perhaps we've got it all wrong. Perhaps this sheikah we've presumed to be our ally has been working as a spy. Selling his devious services for a fee, snooping, stalking, watching his targets every night, and dragging himself home at dawn to sleep all day. Of course. I only hope that your prying eyes are turned away from me, friend."  
  
Sheik smiled behind his mask. Marcus had set himself up. "Oh, I shouldn't think so, Marcus. You've done nothing to upset our rulers, I'm certain. In fact, you've done nothing whatsoever. If idle hands are the devil's workplace, yours don't make a very efficient one."  
  
Sheik flopped down against the trunk of the tree, and the brothers soon followed suit, being so tired out from...whatever they HAD been doing all day. Marcus sighed and stretched his arms.  
  
"You're one to talk, aren't you, harper? Isn't he one to talk, brother?" Marcus waited until Taran nodded assent before continuing. "Why, when's the last time I saw you at work anywhere in town, eh? Answer me that. There's no work to be had, or else you're as idle as you claim us to be, Mr. I'm-So-Clever."  
  
"Idle?" retorted Sheik, indignant, "You're calling me idle?" He would have said something snappish, or attempted to, but he had a better idea. Marcus thrived on repartee; he basked in stinging barbs as a plant (perhaps ragweed) basks in sunshine. Sometimes the best way to annoy him was to end the argument. "Perhaps," he said, mimicking Marcus' way of speaking, leaning back, and closing his eyes, "you don't know me as well as you think, friend Marcus." He could feel Marcus' stare, and smirked. [Chew on that, Mr. I'm-Not-So-Very-Clever.]  
  
Another one of Marcus' known weaknesses was curiosity. Sheik's last comment had piqued it. And Sheik clearly wasn't going to say another word on the subject. What DID the sheikah do all day that he didn't tell anyone? Marcus prodded Sheik in the ribs. "Well then, if I'm so ignorant, why don't you enlighten us? What back-breaking toil fills your days, that gives you so little money to show for it, and that no one see you do?"  
  
Sheik didn't even open his eyes. "Wouldn't you like to know?" It bordered on cruel, but it was fun. Sheik heard a very irritated sort of huff, which meant that Marcus had ceded the battle of wits for now. His own curiosity had him too flustered.   
  
Marcus would have his revenge, however. Turning to his brother, he said, quite loud enough for everyone in the immediate vicinity to hear (which, fortunately, was no one but Sheik and the tree), "You see, brother, it's as I theorized. He refuses even to tell his own dear friends and acquaintances what he does all day, as though he has something to hide from us. Us! His bosom companions! It's all very suspicious, I say. He's clearly an outlaw, or a government agent, or a radical cultist, or a sociopath, or something equally unpleasant. Why, Victor warned us just the other evening to keep well away from this one, and I daresay his advice sounds better and better. He's clearly not the sort we need to associate ourselves with. Why, his type drag down the reputations of anyone who even nods good morning to him on the street."  
  
"What," Sheik asked, opening his eyes and interrupting Marcus' oration, "are you rambling about now?"  
  
"Well, now," crowed Marcus, triumphant, "look who's come down off his high horse to mingle with the unworthy! Want to know what we're talking about? Perhaps I won't tell you." Poking his nose up in the air, Marcus sent Sheik a sidelong glance.   
  
Sheik fidgeted a little. Petty as this all would turn out to be in the broad scheme of things, for the moment Sheik was concerned. He only knew one Victor, which was one too many, and the thought of people talking about him behind his back was galling. [No fair! You're not supposed to do it to me! I have a good reason for not telling you things! Arrgh...]  
  
But even seeing his victim writhing in anguish wasn't enough to keep Marcus entertained for long, so his silence was broken. Maybe he'd get a better reaction from sharing this juicy nugget of gossip. Marcus heaved a theatrical sigh. "Woe is me, who is burdened with a golden conscience, and a heart easily moved to pity at the sight of suffering, however deserving the sufferer may be." He put emphasis on these last words. When he was certain that Sheik was all ears, he went on. "La, my brother and I were enjoying the social atmosphere of the local spirits establishment-"  
  
"Ah, I see, you were out drinking. Yes, go on."  
  
Marcus glared. "We did nothing of the sort, did we, brother? Nothing so base, so vulgar, so juvenile as you suggest, friend. We were merely observing and enjoying the social atmosphere of this establishment; yes, perhaps we had a little something to slake our thirst with, true, but I'd hardly call it drinking. Nayru, no! Anyway, we were at this establishment, and by and by we got to conversing with a fellow sitting near us. Wonderfully entertaining fellow, this one; he went by the name of Victor, said he worked in the potion shop over in the west side. Well, now, by and by (it had been about an hour or two of enjoying the social atmosphere), somehow or another the conversation turned to you. It's startling what a mind deems important news after a few hours of enjoying a social atmosphere, such as the one in that establishment. And this Victor related to us his dealings with you, and we found that awfully interesting, didn't we, brother? Certainly. One doesn't hear about such things often; they're really rather frowned upon." He waited for Taran to grunt affirmation, and paused for breath (and to enjoy the look, and color, Sheik face had). He cleared his throat. "To get back to what I was saying, Victor warned us to stay well away from you and your ilk, as it were, though he put it in rather more colorful vocabulary. To be precise, he claimed you were the spawn of the unholy demons themselves, and that you were bound for the seventeenth circle of the thirty-nine exquisite hells, and that you certainly were not taking him with you."  
  
"Ouch," Taran interjected.  
  
"Yes, exactly," said Marcus, "We decided to be lenient with you, friend, for no one in this world is perfect," he held up a hand to keep Sheik from interrupting (which he very much wanted to do by now). "We will nobly bear with your flaws of character. However," he said, switching tones entirely, "if you're going to keep secrets, perhaps we'd be better off keeping our own company."  
  
Later, Sheik went home feeling very embarrassed. He'd have been even more embarrassed, and more than a little disturbed, had he known that the tree, or rather, someone in the tree, had been quite intrigued by his conversation with the twins.   
  
Up in the aforesaid tree's branches, out of sight, a pair of eyes watched the sheikah's retreating figure. The eyes were, as one would assume and hope, attached to a person. A person in uniform.   
  
##  
  
*(from last chapter) A chephalocaudal is that tail that drapes down from the back of a zora's head. "Ceph" means head, and a caudal fin is a fish's tailfin. There you have it. 


	19. Shabby Sheik

*- (again from last chapter) a kym is a sheikan marital unit composed of anywhere from two to five individuals. By sheikan reasoning, if having one spouse is good, then having three spouses is three times as good.  
  
##  
  
As tired as Sheik was, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He had a little bit of a headache, and his bed was doing everything in its power to make itself uncomfortable. Sheik tried lying on his back, lying on his side, dangling various limbs over the edge of the bed, lying diagonally... He found a nice position on his stomach, but scratched that idea when it became apparent that he was smothering himself with his own pillow.  
  
*Gasp!* [Ooookay. Maybe I need to take a walk, or something.]   
  
Hoisting himself out of bed, our hero stretched out a few cricks in his back, grumbled to himself for a few moments, and sauntered out the back door. He almost let his eyes wander up to the stars, but caught himself. [After what happened last time? No, sir. I've learned my lesson.]   
  
Sticking to more open streets while trying not to attract any undue attention from the guards, Sheik wended his way through the sleeping town, hoping (and failing) to make himself drowsy. Eventually, he made it all the way to the tree, and was about to go on, when he heard a small yet infinitely morose sigh. [Eh?] Glancing down, Sheik espied a hyl... a zo... a man of some description sitting under the aforementioned tree with his face cupped in his hands. [Hmm... no shirt, no shoes; nothing but some trousers made out of sacking and a...mohawk. I guess there's always someone who has it worse.]  
  
Feeling his polite upbringing nagging at him again, Sheik paused and said, "Good evening."  
  
The figure on the ground looked Sheik up and down before grunting and sighing again. "I'd like to know what's so good about an evening like this."  
  
"Well..." Sheik began, rather inauspiciously, "There aren't any clouds, it's warm, the crickets are chirping..."  
  
"Crickets are disgusting creatures," the man interrupted, "I can't stand insects. They're disgusting." He continued, now in a sort of drone, as though he was repeating a favorite mantra. "I'm disgusting. My own mother and father are disgusting. You're disgusting, too."  
  
Sheik valiantly tried to keep his eyebrow from quirking upward, but just couldn't do it. [And with that weird and insulting outburst, I really must be going.] But then his conscience ruined his escape. [Sure, Sheik. Go on and leave. Maybe he'll go jump in the river later, and then won't you feel stupid.] Muttering "Stupid conscience" under his breath, Sheik settled himself down on the grass. From this angle, he noticed that the man had a definite blue-green tinge to his skin, and some webbing between his fingers. He also wasn't quite a man, more of a teenager. [Whoa. That's...different.]  
  
Not knowing how to keep the conversation going, Sheik eventually settled for "Why?"  
  
The blue kid seemed a tad surprised that someone was still there. "Why what?"  
  
Sheik shrugged. "Why disgusting?"  
  
The kid rolled his eyes and leaned back. "You're not blind; you can tell what I am."  
  
[I didn't know there was going to be a quiz! I always choke on quizzes!] "Er...No. No, I can't really tell. Male? Young? Angst-ridden?"  
  
"I'm a hybrid. Duh. My father is a zora."  
  
It took a little while to soak in, but then Sheik got it. "Oh. ...Ohhh. Neat!" The kid jumped. "I've never met a hybrid before."  
  
The kid glared sidelong at Sheik suspiciously. "You...don't think that's disgusting?"  
  
Sheik shrugged. "When it comes to affairs of the heart, sheikah are pretty..." he searched for a hip teenage word to use and missed by several years, "jake, as a general rule." [I...think...]   
  
The kid stared at him. "Hey...yeah. You would be, wouldn't you?"  
  
Squirming under intense scrutiny, Sheik queried, "Huh?"   
  
"You're the creepy little sheikah guy who's stalking the potion clerk, aren't you?"  
  
[What?! I never! Lies! It's nothing but vicious lies, I say!] Sputtering indignantly, Sheik barked, "I am NOT stalking Victor, and it's nobody's business, anyway!" Listening to himself, he came to the conclusion that he could, perhaps, have worded that better. [Fabulous. This is why you're supposed to think before you speak, doofus.] Turning a little pink, he added, "Does the whole town know about this?"  
  
The kid shrugged. "If I know about it, then probably everyone else does, too. Except maybe the gravedigger and Crazy Tony in the windmill. They used to gossip about me."  
  
Sheik looked hopeful. "Really? So, they'll get bored soon and forget about this, right?"  
  
"Maybe, but you're still disgusting."  
  
"Yeah, well no one asked for your opinion, fish-boy." Then, indirectly asking fish-boy's opinion, Sheik said, "I don't understand why this rumor has caught on so well..."   
  
The kid looked appraisingly at the fretful sheikah. "You don't?" Catching Sheik's confused look, he said, "I mean, you're kind of...obvious."  
  
"Obvious?" [Oh, brother...]  
  
"Well, for one thing, you move your hands a lot when you talk."  
  
Clasping his hands tightly in his lap, Sheik snapped, "Who doesn't?"  
  
"And you dress...colorfully."  
  
"It's called only being able to afford scrap material."  
  
The kid went on, listing things on his fingers. "You play a harp, and you have a funny accent."  
  
"What accent? This isn't my first language, you know. And a musical instrument is a musical instrument. Those are both completely irrelevant points. They all are." Sheik stopped waving his arms around and crossed them, offended.  
  
The kid almost looked pitying. "Well, no one's ever seen you with any girls besides your family."  
  
"Aha!" Sheik beamed triumphantly. "But they've never seen me with any men, either, so there! None of you have a leg to stand on."  
  
"Except Victor."  
  
Sheik's smile withered. "Oh, yeah. I can explain that."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"See, my cousin likes him. You know how girls are."  
  
The kid shrugged a bit and looked away. He dearly wanted to know how girls were.  
  
"Anyway," Sheik went on, matter-of-factly, "me and my cousin are very close. And I know she likes him, so I get nervous around him on her behalf."  
  
The boy stared at him for a long while, digesting this. "You...get nervous...because your cousin likes him?"  
  
Sheik nodded. "Sympathy nervousness. I'm glad someone around here is beginning to understand."  
  
"And...blush...and giggle."  
  
"I don't giggle!" Sheik snapped. "Mighty almost-warriors do not giggle! I simply chuckle now and then because I'm just one of those footloose, happy-go-lucky people!"  
  
"Okay, okay..."  
  
"That's right, and don't you forget it!" Sheik took a deep breath and stopped waving his arms around...again. "Sorry. That kind of thing doesn't usually bother me, but I've been under a lot of stress lately."  
  
"Working too hard?"  
  
Sheik nodded.  
  
"Well, you might as well relax a little. Our futile, insignificant lives are like teardrops on the ocean. Nothing you ever do will matter, really." With that, the kid went back to staring at the ground.  
  
Our hero sat blinking for a while, then stood and, with a polite Sorry-I-really-should-be-going-now fled the scene for home. This time he couldn't help but stargaze a little, reinforcing the five-inch-tall feeling he'd gotten from the depressing hybrid kid. If he'd been watching where he was going, he may have not walked directly into Captain Dominic, but he wasn't, and he did.  
  
[@#$%@#!]  
  
"Why hello there," Dominic chirruped, grinning in a very unsettling way. "It's a little late to be out walking, isn't it?"  
  
Sheik gulped and tried to look harmless. It was surprisingly easy. "Oh...uh...hi. You know, some guy asked me that very same question a few weeks ago when he mugged me. ...He was grinning just like that, too. And I yelled and yelled for help, but I guess the guards were all busy." [Heh, heh. Score one for me! Zing!]  
  
Dominic frowned. "You think you're pretty clever, don't you, sheikah? Well, what's your favorite color? You have five seconds; go!"  
  
Sheik wasted the first couple seconds looking as though he'd been blind-sided by a singing two-by-four. Then, his mouth caught up with his panicked brain. "Purple! No, wait...green!" [Aaaaah, curses, I KNEW I was going to choke. I hate quizzes.] "Can I have a do-over?"  
  
"Aha! Thought you could trick me, eh?" Dominic waved a triumphant finger irritatingly close to Sheik's face. "But I'm too sharp for that one."  
  
"What one?" Our hero was utterly confused, to say the least.  
  
Dominic leaned down so as to be eye-level with his bewildered victim. "I know you're up to something, sheikah. And as soon as I've gathered sufficient evidence (which isn't much, my friend)," he clapped his hands together, making Sheik jump. "I shall strike! So be warned, sheikah: I'm watching you. Where you go, what you do, who you speak with, when you eat, while you sleep, always watching." He pointed at his eyes and then pointed menacingly in Sheik's general direction for effect.  
  
Sheik listened to all of this with the same wide-eyed, slack-jawed awe he'd had during most of Dominic's ranting. Only the last bit seemed to stick in his brain, and in self-defense he seized on it. "You...watch me while I'm sleeping?" He pulled a face and crossed his arms. "Ewwwwww! And people in this town think I'M a weirdo... That's really creepy. Kind of pathetic, too."  
  
Dominic's jaw dropped and he sputtered for a moment. "Wha...no... I didn't mean it like THAT!"  
  
While Dominic grew increasingly mortified, an evil idea sprang up in Sheik's sleep-deprived mind. [Twisted......wrong............but funny. No, I just can't pass this up; it's too good.] Sighing, he assumed a pitying expression and twirled his hair around one of his fingers. "I mean, if you wanted to, you know, take me out to dinner or something, all you had to do was ask." [Yes, very wrong, but his face is too priceless.]  
  
It was Dominic's turn to have a run-in with the warbling lumber. He looked positively ashen.  
  
[I wish I had a feather to knock him over with!] "I guess it makes sense now," Sheik went on, mercilessly, "Making up excuses to come into my house, showing such an interest in my daily activities, following me around like a lost puppy, sneaking furtive glances in my direction..."  
  
Dominic made a strangled noise in his throat. Those were SUPPOSED to have been menacing glares!  
  
Sheik debated the question for a while, and then decided that, yes, he would go the extra furlong and flutter his eyelashes. "The double-speak. You even had me worried that I was in some kind of trouble with the law, for a while. But now I see right through it! That color question was a little too obvious, you sly devil!"  
  
Somehow, Dominic managed to squeak out, "It was...?" He couldn't have been more lost and scared if he'd wandered into the Lost Woods at night and heard howling.  
  
Chuckling, Sheik lightly slapped the poor captain as though he'd made a hilarious joke. "Why, sure! Everybody knows the color question. So..." [And now for the killing blow! Muahahahaha!] He leaned in closer, gazed up from under his lashes, and lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "What's YOUR favorite color, captain?"  
  
Just short of running away screaming, Dominic gingerly shoved Sheik away. "Oh, look at the time, I have to finish my rounds, well, no worries here...carry on, citizen!" He turned and walked quickly in the other direction.  
  
Not able to resist a parting shot, Sheik called, "Come visit me any time! I live alone now, and it sure gets lonely." The terror-stricken captain made a bit of a yelp and started running.  
  
Sheik was barely able to make it all the way home and safely inside the house before he burst out laughing. [Oh, that was so great! I couldn't have planned it better!] Some ten minutes later, Sheik wiped the tears from his eyes and got up to fix some sort of supper, rubbing the stitch in his side as he worked.   
  
"Hoo, boy," he sighed between the occasional chortle as he chose one of the eggs he'd been able to buy and plunked it into the small pot of boiling water over the fire. "That ought to keep him out of my hair for a while. That stupid rumor came in handy."  
  
After a light supper of one hard-boiled egg and a parsnip, Sheik yawned and dragged himself upstairs to bed.  
  
"Hee hee hee...Genius!"  
  
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz*   
  
Around seven hours and one very weird dream later, Sheik peeled one eye to glare at the sun. Waiting a couple minutes for the usual morning icky feeling to wear off, Sheik noticed that he really didn't feel that magnificent. Getting up and stumbling over to his makeshift mirror, he found that he was indeed somewhat paler than usual, except for two warm-feeling pink patches under his eyes. On a whim, he stuck his tongue out and examined it. [And it's...a tongue. How is that supposed to help, anyway?] His attempt at self-diagnosis over, our hero ran a brush through his hair, tidied his clothes as best he could, and went downstairs to scrounge up some breakfast.  
  
Since he had nowhere to be right away, Sheik decided to put some time into preparing something fancy. He ripped off a small chunk of bread (civilians weren't allowed to own knives, someone might get hurt), fished another egg out of the basket, and hunted through the cupboards until he found Impa's old cast-iron pan and a wooden spoon to use as a spatula. As an afterthought, he also smeared a tiny smidgen of lard onto the pan.   
  
Sheik carried his various utensils and set them down on the hearth while he stoked up the fire again. [One of these days I'm going to have to find more wood...] Sitting down cross-legged in front of the pan, he steeled himself for the challenging task at hand.   
  
[Okay, frying an egg isn't complicated; even I can do this.] Very carefully, he cracked the egg into the pan. Then, he very carefully tried to pick all the little bits of shell out of the pan. [STUPID eggshell...] Balancing the pan on the little iron rack above the fire, Sheik scooted the uncooked parts around with the spoon and realizing very quickly that spoons don't make especially good spatulas, for obvious reasons. When the egg looked about done, he set the bread into the pan as well to let it get crunchy around the edges. Wrapping some of his bandages around his palm (no way was he making THAT mistake again), he returned the hot pan to the hearthstones and managed to transfer the egg onto the piece of 'toast' with the spoon.   
  
Approximately forty-two seconds later, he finished mopping up what was left of the broken yolk and lard with what was left of the bread crust and polished it off. [I think I'm getting a little better at this whole cooking thing... I didn't even burn the egg that badly this time.]  
  
Feeling a tad better after getting something in his stomach, Sheik puttered around the house aimlessly for a while, finally got the floor swept, and eventually convinced himself to go outside. [The sunlight would probably do me some good.]  
  
It turned out to be dark and overcast outside, but the breeze felt nice. Wondering what to do with his holiday while it lasted, Sheik noticed one of his neighbors hanging her family's laundry to dry. In a good mood despite his slightly crummy feeling, Sheik smiled and waved, not that she could see the smile.  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Thatcher!" he chirped.  
  
Goodwife Thatcher's eyes narrowed down to mere slits, and with a soft 'humph!' she turned away. Sheik stared at her back in hurt confusion for a moment, then shrugged and continued on his way. [Geez, someone's sure grouchy today...]  
  
For some reason, most of the other townspeople he met on the road either gave him dagger looks or ignored him entirely, and the twins were nowhere to be seen. Sheik lingered under the tree for a minute or two, feeling strangely snubbed.   
  
"Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted," he announced to the world at large, and stalked off to the graveyard, where he could amuse himself, thank-you-very-much.  
  
Upon entering the graveyard, the first thing Sheik noticed was the sound of a shovel disrupting the otherwise silent sanctity of the cemetery. Walking a little farther in, he saw a spray of dirt fly out of a rather sizable hole, and then the gravedigger as he climbed out and mopped his forehead with a rag. [Well, he's guaranteed to be friendlier than those ingrates...]  
  
Sheik had been on friendly terms with the gravedigger since they'd been children, Sheik having few friends on account of his poor grasp of Common Hylian and overall dorky-ness, and Sebastian on account of being...weird. Weird and fascinated with the dead...and undead. For him, having one of the Shadow Folk as a friend was unbearably cool. Sheik was just grateful for someone who didn't think a great idea for a game would be 'let's push the little red-eyed sissy into the mud.'  
  
"Hi, Sheik!"   
  
"Hello, Bas," Sheik replied amiably, glad to know that at least one person still held him in some esteem.  
  
Giving a quick fond look over a job well done, the gravedigger settled himself down on an inviting tombstone. "Haven't seen much of you lately."  
  
"I haven't had much time to myself."  
  
"Making social calls on your day off, huh?"  
  
Plopping down onto a convenient tombstone himself, Sheik let out a derisive snort. "I would, I guess, but it seems I'm not so popular in town right now."  
  
Bas looked deep in thought for a second, then, "Oh, yeah! I remember hearing about that. If you ask me, which no one does, but anyway... I think that clerk is awfully whiny. Some people have never had any admirers at all, with pretty grim prospects for the future. Anything's better than nothing." He shrugged and smiled slightly. "But I digress." Seeing that his companion looked somewhat put-out, he added, "Don't worry, I'll like you no matter what."  
  
Sheik rolled his eyes. "Thank you. I can't possibly express how deeply moved I am. Does everyone need to talk about this?"  
  
Our hero's slightly morbid friend looked thoughtful. "Weeellll... I don't think Crazy Tony counts, since he doesn't understand half of what's said to him, and the ghosts don't care. See? Not everyone is talking about it."  
  
"Dare I ask who told you?"  
  
"Would you believe Grog told me?"  
  
Sheik raised one eyebrow. "Who?" [Who names an innocent kid after an alcoholic beverage?]  
  
"The zora kid."  
  
The sigh that escaped Sheik's lips could have rivaled one of the glum hybrid's own. "Of course..."  
  
"Yeah, it kinda caught me off-guard. He doesn't usually go in for gossip; he only mentioned it because he thought it was disgusting." Bas knit his brow. "Come to think of it, that seems to cover a pretty broad range of topics..."  
  
Sheik nodded, glad that the focus of conversation had shifted away from him. [I'll bet it's all the twins' fault, too.] "I met him yesterday. He's a bit of a...how can I put it diplomatically?" A few seconds later he gave up the search and said, "Well, I guess I can't. He's a real downer."  
  
Chuckling in an amused yet respectfully subdued manner (force of habit), Bas replied, "You're telling me! Even the ghosts think he's depressing, and they're not always the liveliest bunch themselves." The gravedigger bowed his head under Sheik's withering glare. "Sorry."   
  
"You should be. That was horrible." Sheik walked over to the edge of the grave and peered into it. "You're up awfully early just to dig."  
  
"Work's been kinda slow this month, and the weather was too nice to waste, so I figured I'd sleep at night for a while as a change of pace."  
  
Sheik glanced up at the clouds, thinking that the weather struck him as being a bit on the gloomy side, but decided not to bring it up. "I see. So, who's this one for?"  
  
The tall, gangly man nodded at the new marker lying by the grave. "Some beggar by the name of Frank, I guess. Apparently he went peacefully in his sleep at ninety-eight."  
  
"How'd you find that out?" Bas was one of the few hylians who could interact with various spooks, but Sheik doubted that Frank would feel talkative so soon after his demise.  
  
"Some of his friends brought him in to the undertaker. Real nice old guys; said their row of empty crates would feel awfully gloomy without him."  
  
"Well that's...sweet."  
  
Bas grinned and pushed back a lock of salt-and-pepper hair that had escaped from its ponytail. "Yeah, I needed something to cheer me up. Most of my tenants have been pretty down lately. Sharp and Flatt are the only two that have been at all sociable."  
  
[I wonder what that's about? Hmmm...] Sheik stored that little tidbit away for later. Maybe Rauru would know why ghosts got depressed. "Oh? How are they doing?" It was actually a fairly stupid question. If Sheik had been executed for political dissent, he knew he probably wouldn't float around singing happy songs about rainbows and fluffy kittens. [Not that I'd do that under the best of circumstances...]  
  
Bas shrugged. "Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Once you're dead, your schedule is more or less set." He studied Sheik for a moment with a concerned expression on his distressingly pale face. "Speaking of which, are you okay? You don't look so good."  
  
Sheik glared. Now that Bas mentioned it, he was getting a bit of a headache. ...And stomachache...and he felt a bit chilled. [Just when I'd gotten my mind off of it, too...] "This coming from someone who looks like he's had blood let about five times too many?"  
  
Bas huffed. "I have poor circulation, you don't have any excuse. ...You're all clammy, too." He felt Sheik's forehead with the back of his hand.  
  
[Ah, nice and cool...]  
  
Bas frowned. "You feel warm."  
  
Our hero wiped the contented smile off his face. "Only because your hands are like blocks of ice."  
  
"Do I need to dig another hole?"  
  
Sheik crossed his arms. "No, you don't need to dig another hole! I'm fine; I'm just a little burnt out, that's all."  
  
"Okay, okay," Bas said, with a placating gesture. "Maybe you're not as bad as you look. Just be careful, all right?"  
  
Sheik rolled his eyes and grinned. "Yes, mother."  
  
Cuffing Sheik lightly in reproach, Bas leaned on his shovel. "All I'm saying is sometimes it doesn't take long for this stuff to turn serious. I like you and all, but I don't think I'm ready to deal with your restless spirit twenty-four-seven just yet."  
  
"Yeah, I am pretty rowdy." Sheik sighed. "Well, all right. I'll try to take it easy for your sake."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
The conversation drifted off into small talk for a couple hours, after which Sebastian decided that it was probably time for a short nod, and suggested that Sheik do the same.   
  
Unfortunately, his siesta was ruined by the sound of Zelda daintily tramping up the stairs. Upon entering the room, she crossed straight over to the bed and shook the prone figure thereon.  
  
"Sheik! Why are you sleeping in the middle of the afternoon?"  
  
With some effort, Sheik uncurled from the nice, warm little ball he'd curled himself into, sniffled, and squinted up at his 'cousin' while he waited for the cobwebs to clear out of his brain. "Buh?"  
  
Zelda leaned down and spoke a little louder and very distinctly. "Rauru says Link's going to the ice caverns on the other side of-"  
  
"Okay, okay! I'm tired, not deaf!" Sheik grumbled, dragging what he presumed to be his weary carcass out of bed and tuning his harp.  
  
"Right. Sorry. He's going to the ice caverns on the other side of Lord Jabu-Jabu's spring, and you need to meet him there."  
  
Sheik opened one of his dresser drawers and fished out another shirt to pull over the one he had. It wasn't the thickest material, but it had long sleeves and hung down to mid-thigh. In the absence of a cloak, it would have to do. "Why can't he meet me someplace warmer?"  
  
"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Zelda dug through her apron pockets until she found a small flask of red liquid. She handed it to Sheik, saying, "I told Widow Spinkly you'd be going there, so she mixed it with a little brandy."  
  
Sheik stared at the Phoenix Tears in disbelief. "And you didn't even ask her? Nayru... She DOES have a heart!" [However small and shriveled it may be, there it is.]  
  
{Sheik!}  
  
Sighing and muttering an apology, he pictured the nasty cold wasteland of the spring. "Well, I suppose I'd better go, then."  
  
"Take care."  
  
When he reappeared at the spring, Sheik decided that that was the first time he remembered the void being warmer than an actual place. Pulling his hands into his shirtsleeves, he trudged through the snow and clambered up onto the big chunk of ice that had replaced the big chunk of whale that had been there previously. On reaching the other side, he found, much to his dismay, that the ice over the rest of the spring was broken up into floes, and there was not one, but two possible cavern entrances to choose from. [Well, isn't this just @#$%*&#@ing wonderful...]  
  
Deciding that the Goddesses wouldn't likely make anything easy for him, Sheik decided that the farthest entrance was probably the one he needed. Gauging the distance carefully, Sheik made the first jump, nearly tipping the small floe over and making his heart skip several beats.   
  
"Ohhhh, dear..." After a few more such close shaves, our hero found himself at the entrance to the cavern. And as an added bonus, his fear-induced racing pulse warmed him up a bit.  
  
  
  
As he walked inside, however, he noticed several things that seemed to detract a bit from the overall iciness of the cavern. In the first place, it was too warm. Still bloody cold, but not cold enough for ice. In the second place, it was a fairy fountain. [Oh, of all the miserable luck!] Glaring upward, our hero shook one tiny mortal fist. "Sure, everyone THINKS you're all goodness and light, but I know better!"  
  
"Who are you yelling at?"  
  
Startled by a slightly otherworldly female voice and fully expecting divine retribution, Sheik was relieved to see only a Great Fairy. For the fairy's part, she stared back at him with a look of vaguely deranged concern, a carbon copy of her sister in everything but the stocking cap, leg warmers, and mittens.  
  
Embarrassed, Sheik looked down at the floor. "Oh...No one in particular. Just...um...composing poetry. Never know when inspiration...will strike, I guess."  
  
The fairy giggled. It was distressing. "That was poetry?" She giggled again, and Sheik began to wonder if this was the fairy that her sister had said was off her magical rocker...  
  
Our hero began to edge back toward the door. "...Uh, yeah. Free-verse. Very avant-garde." He had no idea what that meant, but it sounded artistic.  
  
"Wait!" the fairy yelled as she saw him moving. Our fearless sheikan warrior felt faint. "You found my fountain, so I have to give you something." She giggled again.   
  
"Oh, no, that's not necessary," Sheik stammered, finding himself being dragged to the edge of the fountain by the unstable fairy. Aside from trickling water, a slight squeaking noise from Sheik's boot-heels could also be heard. "It was really no trouble."  
  
Upon reaching the fountain's edge, the fairy let go and beamed. "Nonsense! I must give you something; it's tradition! Besides," she went on, while a few of those blasted tendrils started forming out of the water, "it's not as though I get many visitors."  
  
The tendrils started swirling upward, glowing softly, and Sheik was lifted neatly off the ground...upside down. [Great...I'm already nauseous; this will really get it going...]  
  
The GF giggled nervously. "Whoopsie-daisy! I just never CAN get that right... Oh well..." The tendrils flashed green briefly, and then let Sheik down, just slowly enough so as not to cause him any grievous bodily harm.   
  
Sitting up, with a few pops from his spine, Sheik opened his hand to find a green bauble of some sort. [Shiny.]  
  
The fairy smiled. "That's called Farore's Wind. If you use it once, you can set up a teleport checkpoint." Waving off Sheik's impending interruption, she went on with her instructions. "And then, if you use it again, you can go back to that place." She giggled, and then nodded her head with a pleading expression. "It's useful. It really is!"   
  
Sheik had been on the verge of informing her that he could do that sort of spell already, with a lot less bother. But seeing her near-heartbroken face staring at him, waiting for a response, he decided that he just couldn't do it. "Well, I'll be darned, so it is," he said, trying to sound enthused. "Thanks a lot."  
  
The GF clasped her hands; if she hadn't been floating, she'd have jumped up and down also. "Oh! Oh! You're welcome! Any time!" With that, she scooped Sheik up in her arms like he was a very light sack of grain, gave him a kiss on the cheek that encompassed his left eye as well, and set him down. Absolutely bewildered, he watched as she disappeared into her fountain, cackling in a downright frightening manner.  
  
[Uh...............Okay...] Drying his face with his sleeve, Sheik put the bauble in that void thing and turned to go. [Well, maybe I can give it to someone else. It's got to be good for something.]  
  
One bout of ice-floe-hopping terror later, Sheik entered the real cavern. He stood in the corridor shivering for a bit, wondering why it had to be so cold. Feeling a faint breeze coming from farther down, he surmised that the narrow passage opened up down there, and headed for it. [At least it's not very big...]  
  
Two and a half hours later, Sheik entered the last room, limping where a spinning blade had sliced into his calf and looking up at the ceiling for any questionable stalactites before screaming "This had better bloody well be the last freaking bloody room because I'm not going another bloody step through this bloody sadistic freaking torture!" Not seeing any more doorways, our hero pulled himself up onto the rather large chest in the room and huddled in a shivering, sniffling, coughing ball of abject misery for Link.  
  
It took more than half an hour, but at last Sheik heard a sneeze from the corridor. A short time after that, and in walked the hylian himself, holding his shield above his head and peeking out from under it cautiously to look for questionable stalactites on the ceiling. A barking cough followed by a soft groan caught his attention.  
  
"Huh? Oh, hi, Sheik," Link said, brightening a little and putting his shield away. "Why are you here?"  
  
Sheik smothered another cough with his arm and sniffled before answering. "I was just wondering about that myself."  
  
Link sneezed again and came closer. "Gee, you don't look so good."  
  
Navi fluttered out from under Link's hat, her wings moving in little jerking motions from the cold. "I think I'd go so far as to say he looks bad." She lighted on Sheik's ear, which was turning a lovely shade of red from the cold. "Say, do we need something out of this chest you're sitting on?"  
  
"Most likely," Sheik said as he obligingly oozed off the chest so Link could open it.   
  
"Oh boy," Link muttered, as he lifted a pair of iron-soled boots out of the chest with some effort. "Just what I always wanted."  
  
Sheik tried to warm up his fingers before getting his harp out. "Yep, they're right purdy. Now, stow them and listen up so we can get out of here." He cleared his throat, hoping he'd remember everything this time. "If you came here to meet the zoras, you wasted your time..." He stalled as he tried to recall all the formal words explaining the temple. "This is all there is. With one exception, the zoras are all sealed under this thick ice sheet." [Ewww...] He sniffled. "I managed to rescue the zora princess from under the ice, but she left to head for the Water Temple." For some reason, Link looked a little pale after that last part.   
  
"This ice is created by an evil curse..." [Because it's so very very COLD!] "The monster in the Water Temple is the source of the curse." [I guess.] "Unless you shut off the source, this ice will never melt...." [And that's BAD because it's COLD!] "If you have courage enough to confront the danger and save the Zoras, I will teach you the melody that leads to the temple." Here, Sheik had to stop, doubled over with a fit of coughing. Link looked on in concern.  
  
Dutifully, Link found his ocarina and held it ready with shivering fingers. Sheik noticed his own hands weren't faring any better. He retuned a few pertinent strings that had lost tension because of the cold.   
  
"Time passes, people move...." Hack. Groan. "Like a river's flow, it never ends..." He sped up a little, happy that at least this part could move quickly; he was freezing and he was really starting to feel lousy. "A childish mind will turn to noble ambition..." Cough. "Young love will become deep affection..." Wheeze, cough. "The clear water's surface reflects growth...Blah blah blah, I'm freezing! Okay, there was more but it's too cold, so I'm skipping it. Is that all right?" He coughed a bit more.  
  
Link nodded earnestly. Navi piped up. "Of course it's all right! Less gab, more song! Song now!"  
  
Coughing again, Sheik continued. "Now listen to the Serenade of   
  
Water to reflect upon yourself...."  
  
Link was concentrating so hard he got it on the first go.   
  
"Thank the Goddesses!" Sheik said, triggering another coughing fit, which, come to think of it, was making him very very queasy. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to the temple right now where it's warmer." Thinking about the island in the center of the lake (definitely NOT from thirty feet up in the air), Sheik slipped into the void with some difficulty.  
  
He appeared on the island, exiting the void with a pronounced lurch that just about did him in. "Ohhhhh, Farore..." he moaned, clutching his stomach and squeezing his eyes shut for a minute. [In through the nose, out through the mouth...] After a few such deep breaths, he felt a little better. His knees felt a little watery, though...  
  
In a couple minutes, Link made it to the island as well, and he looked worried even before the blue light around him had completely faded. "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" he said. "You look kind of...gray."  
  
Navi bobbed in agreement. "I'd say it's more of a grayish-green."  
  
Sheik nodded weakly. "I'm fine, I just-" And then, very suddenly, Sheik wasn't fine. Not at all. "Oh, Goddesses; excuse me just a sec...!"  
  
A few minutes later, Sheik was huddled on his knees by the water's edge, trembling with exhaustion and empty of everything but a few bones and vital organs (by his estimate, anyway). His breath came in shallow gasps and he was still cold. [...Well, wasn't that delightful...]  
  
Link rubbed circles on his sick friend's back. He didn't understand how it worked, but Saria had always done that when he'd gotten sick and somehow it helped. "Are you done?"  
  
Sheik pondered the question carefully for a while, then nodded.  
  
"I certainly hope so!" Navi exclaimed. "I don't see how he could have anything left in there!" She flew cautiously up beside Sheik's face. "That was impressive."  
  
Our hero couldn't trouble himself to narrow his eyes at her. "Thanks. It wasn't so hot from this end." His stomach still hurt, though at least it wasn't doing flips anymore. Only now his back hurt, his ribs ached, his throat was raw, and his head ached. [Still an improvement over twenty seconds ago, when my brain was trying to climb out through my ears...]  
  
Link helped Sheik up to his feet. "Sheik, you're really sick."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Deciding to ignore the sarcasm for now, Link went on. "You should have a doctor look at you. There's one right on the shore, in fact."  
  
"Yeah, there is!" Navi trilled. "He's really good. Link's gotten stitches from him twice already."  
  
A flash of recognition passed through Sheik's disease-addled brain. "...Wait, if he's on the lakeshore then... Oh, no you don't!" he spat, backing away from the pair. "You're not getting me to go near that old loon!"  
  
Link crossed his arms. "Sheik, you look like you're going to keel over. You're going to see a doctor if I have to carry you in myself."  
  
"Oh, yeah?" Sheik snapped, trying to look more intimidating than he felt. "You and whose army?"  
  
With a shrug and a small sigh, Link muttered, "Well, you asked for it."  
  
An embarrassingly short span of time later, Sheik had given up struggling to get down as Link carried him across the long suspension bridge that spanned the lake. [I just had to say something, didn't I?] He hadn't been expecting Link to just...pounce like that. [Pretty rough treatment for a guy who's deathly ill, if you ask me.]   
  
Navi floated above him, still talking. "I mean, sure he's a little... unconventional, but I wouldn't call him crazy, per se. You never know, this whole 'sigh-ants' thing might be very widely accepted some day."  
  
Fed up with being carried (though it was a lot easier than walking at the moment), Sheik growled, "All right! Point taken; I can walk by myself."  
  
"It's for your own good, you know," Link said as he set the irate sheikah down on the wood planks. They continued, Link walking slower to stay level with Sheik.   
  
Walking very carefully and slowly so as not to fall into the lake, Sheik continued his argument with Navi. "Widely accepted? How? He doesn't pray or chant or read tealeaves, or anything a healer is supposed to do! He doesn't even rub an egg over your forehead and read the yolk. What kind of nut-job doesn't even do that?" he croaked.  
  
"Well, loony or not, it's a moot point. Here we are," Navi said, relieved and hoping the sheikah would resign himself to his fate.  
  
Inside, Sheik found himself sitting on a sort of small table, with Navi sitting on his shoulder while Link explained things to a wizened little old man in a white coat. Sheik couldn't help but notice and be offended that Link kept himself between Sheik and the door in case a certain someone panicked and decided to make a break for it. He snorted in disgust, which turned into another coughing fit, which in turn became a groan of pained anguish.   
  
On hearing this, the little man walked over and stood before his reluctant patient, stroking his chin and humming to himself. "Hmmm... Yes... And how long would you say you've been feeling unwell?"  
  
"Since this morning," Sheik answered warily, sincerely hoping that the deceptively harmless-looking old man wasn't as insane as he'd been told.  
  
"Hmmm..." hummed the old doctor, pressing two gnarled fingers onto the vein in Sheik's wrist and counting to himself for a bit. "Hmm." He went to another workbench and wrote something down on a piece of parchment.  
  
"What's he writing?" Sheik whispered to Navi. She gave a tiny shrug.  
  
"Hmm, tell me," said the doctor, returning. "Does it hurt when I do this?" He pressed Sheik's cheekbones under the eyes.  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
"That's a 'yes,' I take it?" He felt under Sheik's jaw with his thumb and forefinger. "Hmm, interesting. A bit of swelling in the glands..." He went off to write something down again.  
  
Our hero rubbed his face. He was becoming increasingly nervous.   
  
"Are you experiencing any nausea or vomiting?" the doctor called from the workbench.  
  
"Is he ever!" Navi crowed. "You should have seen it! I thought he was going to die!"  
  
Sheik glowered up at the ball of light. "Thanks." He turned to Link. "Thanks for holding my hair back, by the way."  
  
Link grinned. "Don't mention it. You'd do the same for me."  
  
"And...um...sorry about your boots," Sheik went on, turning a little pink.  
  
"Oh, that's okay; it washed right off." Link closed his eyes pensively. "Besides, they've been covered in worse things."  
  
Navi laughed. "And it sure was funny watching you try to clean them up without falling into the water." She turned to Sheik. "He had to lay on his belly and stretch waaaay down, like this." No one could make out what she was doing through her aura, but she didn't do it for very long, since Link had had enough. He took off his hat and swatted at her. "Hey!" Navi yelled indignantly, flapping wildly to keep her balance.  
  
The doctor returned once more, breaking up what might have dissolved into a brawl. Sheik saw that he was holding a little flat stick in one hand, and had a lantern in the other. He went from nervous to alarmed.   
  
"What's that for?"  
  
"I'd just like to see inside your throat. Now if you'll just open your mouth and say 'aah.'" He lifted the lantern a bit higher.   
  
Our hero grudgingly obliged, and was rewarded by having the stick shoved into his mouth. "Aaaahhhh-GHK!"  
  
After some hacking, Sheik got his gag reflex under control. The doctor threw the evil stick away. "So sorry, sometimes it goes a bit far back." And off he went to write things down. "Rather red, and the tonsils are a bit swollen, which is to be expected with most illness." Sheik didn't know if that was supposed to be reassuring; he didn't know what a tonsil was. "Hmm, would you say you're feeling warm or cold at present?"   
  
"Cold...?" Sheik managed, watching with mounting trepidation as the doctor took something long, glassy, and skinny from a stand on the bench. The doctor returned, with aforesaid glass thing, and Sheik decided to voice his concern. "You're not going to shove that thing down my throat, too, are you?" [I AM nauseous after all, in case you'd forgotten.]  
  
The old man laughed. "Oh, goodness, no. That would risk breaking the thermometer, and quicksilver is very toxic if ingested."  
  
"Quicksilver?" Sheik snapped. "You're not putting quicksilver in MY-mmphf...!" The good doctor had no doubt heard the protest before, and had taken the first opportunity to jab the thermometer neatly under our hero's tongue.  
  
"Close your lips, but not your teeth, hmmm? The glass is delicate."  
  
Sheik did not dare even to breathe.  
  
It was around half a minute later, when Sheik was running direly low on oxygen, that the doctor removed the glass tube, held it up to the light, cleaned it, and replaced it in its stand while he wrote something down. "Hmm... A bit feverish."  
  
"I could have told you that," Sheik grumbled.  
  
The doctor looked over his notes, then at Sheik, then back to his notes, and wrote down a few more things. As he started gathering beakers and started an alcohol burner, he said, "Considering the symptoms, I'd say it's a case study in influenza."  
  
Sheik fidgeted uncomfortably. "Influenza? Are you sure?" He'd heard from Impa about epidemics of influenza that could decimate entire countries. It was like plague. That whole 'sound in the morning, dead by nightfall' saying wasn't all exaggeration.  
  
Link chuckled. "That's a funny-sounding word. It's like in that jump-rope rhyme, with the bird and the window; it-"  
  
"Stop right there; I don't want to hear it," Sheik growled. If it had been thought up by sweet little youngsters playing jump-rope, it was guaranteed to be distressingly morbid, and that was the last thing he needed.  
  
"Oh, not a jump-rope fan, huh?" Link shifted his attention to the workbench, where the little old man was heating some water over a low flame.  
  
"Are you a magic-user?" the doctor asked as he arranged some measuring spoons.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Hmm...I'd stop casting for a few days if I were you. Too stressful for your system at the moment."  
  
[Well, this puts a crimp on my mode of transportation, doesn't it?]   
  
The doctor started dashing around to various cupboards, measuring out little bits of the various powders and liquids from the various jars they were kept in, and adding them each to the water. He also pulled a few leaves off of a sprig of some plant hanging by a string (peppermint, as far as Sheik could smell, which wasn't much), chopped them up, and tossed them in as well. Taking a slim glass pestle from a drawer, the old man turned the flame up a bit, stirred the dark liquid very quickly for a few seconds, turned the burner off, and poured the works into two glass flasks.   
  
"I want you to take small sips of this later on this evening, and make sure you have it all finished by the time you go to bed," he said in a tone that brooked no disagreement as he corked the flasks. "This one's for you," he said to Sheik, handing him one of the flasks. The glass was pleasantly warm.  
  
The old man pressed the other flask into Link's hand before the youth could protest. "You're looking a mite piqued yourself, sonny."   
  
Sheik slipped down off the table, still feeling awful and ready to leave.  
  
"Just a moment, I'm not through with you yet," the doctor scolded. He eyed the two appraisingly. "I want the both of you to drink plenty of water and get at least three days of good, solid bed rest. I think that's a lot of the trouble right there; you're run down. Why, when I was your age, folks knew that running about at all times trying to do everything all at once was bad for the constitution. We knew that some things could wait their turn, and we sure didn't-"  
  
"Okay, thank you, sir," Link interrupted, nipping the lecture in the bud. "What do we owe?"  
  
The doctor pulled a face and waved off the offer. "Oh, nothing, nothing. An old man can't charge for a research opportunity. You just run along and get some rest." He glared and put added emphasis on the last word, shooing the two men and fairy out the door.  
  
"Well," Link said after a moment. "Where do you live? Epona can carry two people."  
  
"Huh?" our eloquent hero replied, not catching any of it.  
  
"We're not allowed to use magic, remember?" Link said, walking out a few paces and whistling. Sheik heard hoof-beats, and a chestnut horse appeared over a low hill. It slowed to a walk and nuzzled Link with its snout. Link scratched it behind the ears. "You haven't met Epona, have you? Malon just gave her to me."  
  
And then it clicked. Sheik had thought that horse looked familiar... "Gah!" he choked out. "Get away from that thing! That horse is the devil!"  
  
Link laughed. "What, her?" He took the horse's face in his hands and rubbed her snout. "But she's just a big softie, aren't you, sweetheart," he crooned. Epona purred and let her eyes drift closed. "See?" Link said. "Horse good."  
  
Sheik wasn't convinced. He'd seen what that mare could do. He pointed accusingly at her. "It's eyes burn with the fires of the thirty-nine hells themselves!"   
  
Link and Epona exchanged glances, hers seeming to say, "Who, me? What's the little crazy animal talking about?"  
  
"Sheik," Link said carefully. "You live in Kakariko, right? We can't walk all the way there, and you can't teleport there. So..." He patted the horse's back meaningfully and hopped up into the saddle.  
  
Sighing, Sheik conceded that Link had a point and timidly clambered up behind the saddle. "Curse you and your 'logic,'" he muttered, wrapping his arms around Link's waist, squeezing his eyes shut, and bracing himself.  
  
"Uh...Sheik," Link said, once Epona had started walking. "I know you're scared of horses and all, but... I can't breathe."  
  
"Sorry." Sheik loosened his grip.   
  
Navi made herself comfortable on Link's ear and looked down at the terrified sheikah. "Boy, I wouldn't have put you down as a hippophobe."  
  
"What did you just call me?" Sheik snapped, in no mood to be insulted.  
  
"Relax, Sheik," Navi soothed, through a laugh. "Hippophobia is a fear of horses."  
  
"I'm not scared of horses," Sheik argued. "Well...maybe a little, but mostly just this particular horse."  
  
Epona started to pick up speed. [Oh, trotting is bad...]  
  
"Okay, we're coming up to the fences; ready?" Link said.  
  
"...Um...No?"   
  
By this time Epona was in a smooth canter. Sheik felt her gather herself onto her hind legs, and then she jumped.  
  
"Eee!" our fearless warrior screamed.  
  
"Arck!" Link gurgled, as he was given an amateur version of the Heimlich maneuver by his passenger.  
  
"Ha ha ha! You guys are a riot!" Navi gasped between tiny little fairy belly laughs.  
  
Once the fences were cleared and Epona galloped across open plains, Link managed to pry Sheik's hands loose enough to get a decent breath of air.  
  
"Hey, while we're on the subject of jarring movements... If you start to feel like you're going to be sick again, give me some warning, all right?"  
  
Sheik opened one eye. "Okay. I think you'll want to stop right.........now."  
  
He sounded serious, and if someone saying they're going to be sick while sitting directly behind you sounds serious, it's best to listen. Link reined in Epona, and Sheik slid down off her back into a boneless and very ill puddle on the ground.  
  
"Poor Sheik," Navi sighed as they finally got on their way again, Link a little worried that Sheik's grip was too loose and that he'd fall off. Sheik had no comment except a soft whimper.  
  
The remainder passed without major incident besides a few more such stops, and Epona veering off-course now and then to run down stalchildren after the sun went down. "Sorry," Link apologized. "She just loves to chase those things."  
  
Upon reaching the stairs into Kakariko, Epona stopped, allowing her passengers to get down and stagger into town. "Goodnight, girl," Link called back. The horse whickered softly, then turned and left.  
  
"Okay," Link said, "Which place is yours?"  
  
"What he means," Navi said, catching Sheik's attention, "is that his house is too small for him to fit inside, and there's also a cow in it. Can we stay with you?" she finished sweetly.  
  
"Sure," Sheik said, giving Link a questioning look. "Cow?"  
  
Link shrugged. "Don't ask me; I don't know how it got up the ladder in the first place."  
  
Not quite knowing where ladders came into the equation and not caring, Sheik led his guests up several ramps, stairs, and side streets into the west side of town. He cautioned Link to be quiet and had Navi ride on Link's head so her aura wouldn't attract attention.  
  
They reached the back door of the house without incident. As Sheik was unlocking the door, Link tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Why is that lady glaring at us?"  
  
Sheik turned to look in the direction Link was. "Oh, Mrs. Thatcher?" The woman in question was in the second story of her own house, staring down with the look of a judge passing an execution sentence. When Sheik made eye contact, she shook her head in disgust and closed the shutters. "Uh...She's a little 'out there,' if you know what I mean. Don't pay any attention to her."  
  
Inside, all three decided they were too tired to eat. Sheik went to the hearth to bank the fire for the night while Link found a place to hide his weapons and assorted oddities. Straightening up from the low cupboard he'd chosen, he sighed contentedly.  
  
"Ah, I feel forty pounds lighter."  
  
"That's probably because you are, in fact, forty pounds lighter," Navi quipped, gliding in front of his face lazily.   
  
Sheik walked back across the room to relock the door. "I think I've scared the captain of the guard away for a couple weeks, but just in case..." He returned to the hearth where it was warm and leaned back against the stones, taking his flask out of the void thing and uncorking it with his teeth.  
  
Link sat down as well and peered into his own flask bemusedly. "This stuff looks nasty."  
  
"It does have a sort of brown sludginess about it, doesn't it," Sheik said. He whiffed it. "It doesn't smell bad, though." He took a tiny sip. By this time, the peppermint had had a chance to soak through everything, so that was all Sheik tasted. "It's all right; I don't think you'll choke, anyway."  
  
Link glared suspiciously at the flask, tried it, decided that maybe it WASN'T that bad, and gulped it down. It took Sheik the better part of an hour to finish his without mishap. They kept up a steady stream of conversation to avoid awkward silence.  
  
"You seem..." Sheik searched for ways to say 'mature' that didn't make him sound like a visiting aunt. "...to be doing better."  
  
"Yeah, I guess I'm getting used to...well, everything."  
  
"That's nice." The mint was beginning to settle Sheik's stomach a bit. He fished for something else to say before he started thinking about his abdominal region too much and ruining everything. "So, do you know Princess Ruto? I thought you looked a little...different when I mentioned her." [He looked like he was going to have a fit, was what he looked like...]  
  
Link looked uncomfortable. Navi fluttered in lazy circles. "They're sort of betrothed."  
  
"Oh?" He would have said something more like, 'How can you be sort of betrothed? I thought that was an all or nothing deal,' but Sheik was getting rather drowsy, as much from the events of the day as the potion.  
  
Link squirmed. "I'll bet she forgot. ...I hope she forgot, at least..."  
  
Navi giggled and hovered near Link's face. "I don't know, maybe it wouldn't be so bad marrying Ruto. She is a princess, after all. And when she became queen, you'd be prince consort, and you could order people around, and stuff." She lit gracefully on Link's shoulder and struck a regal pose and pointed one tiny finger. "You there! Do this! You, fetch that! I grow bored; entertain me, fools!"  
  
Sheik grinned through a warm, potion-induced haze. Link was getting fuzzy around the edges as well, but had to get a word in his defense. "But I can't marry her! She's a girl!"  
  
Navi tipped her head to one side, carefully weighing whether or not to even acknowledge the statement. [And think of what the kids would look like...] Sheik mused.  
  
"Well, girls have cooties!" Link went on, seeing that no one was rushing to agree with him.   
  
"Hey!" Navi trilled next to Link's ear, making him wince. Even Sheik was temporarily knocked out of his dull stupor. "I'm a girl!"  
  
Rubbing his ear, Link tried to think fast. "Fairies don't count. Besides, I'm not marrying you."  
  
This seemed to placate her, and the three lapsed into a comfortable silence. Noticing himself nodding off again, Sheik stood and stumbled his way toward Zelda and Impa's room. "Well, I think I've had about all the fun I can stand, I don't know about you..."  
  
Suspecting that the possibility of a real bed could manifest soon, Link followed nearly as unsteadily as our hero. Navi wafted along behind.  
  
Seeing Sheik already curled up in one narrow bed, Link laid his cap on the small table between the two and snuggled into the other. "Hee..."  
  
Navi made a little nest for herself out of the cap. Beds really weren't worth the risk of being squashed in one's sleep. Folding her wings and pulling a bit of material over herself as a blanket, she closed her eyes. In a few minutes, however, the snoring became rather difficult to ignore. In stereo. Sitting up, she glared first at Link, and then at Sheik. If it weren't for the soft snoring from Sheik's side of the room, she'd swear he was dead. Link, however, was another matter; it was amazing that he didn't wake himself up. Sheik really wasn't that loud, but he inhaled while Link exhaled, and the effect was one infinitely long snore without reprieve.   
  
"Great," she grumbled, burying her head in the cap. "Now I get to deal with two of them..." 


	20. Daydream believer

Sweet Goddesses, the house is burning!  
  
Sheik awoke to the smell of smoke, and sat up as quickly as his sickly frame could manage, glancing about wildly. Surprisingly enough, the house was not a raging inferno; the scent was coming from the black lumps smoking on the plate Link was holding out to him. Sheik looked from the lumps, to Link's sunny face, back to the lumps, and then back to Link again. His head tipped to one side, his half-asleep mind not quite absorbing all of this.  
  
"Good afternoon, starshine!" Link beamed, and, if Sheik were alert and felt the inclination, he could have counted the hylian's teeth. "I made you breakfast...or maybe lunch. Well, anyway, I made food." Sheik looked at the lumps again. "All you have is eggs," Link continued, "and it's been a while since I cooked an egg... Are you feeling any better?"  
  
Sheik slowly raised his eyes back up to Link's face. "I was, but now I'm not so sure." Thinking that statement through a little more, he added quickly, "Must have sat up too fast."  
  
Link looked sympathetic. "Poor Sheik. Just drink the water then; you can eat later. You'll want to save some for the eggs, though. They...scrape a little on the way down." His grin took a slightly sheepish turn.  
  
Sheik offered a brave, more-then-a-little-forced grin of his own. He waited until Link left the room to dispose of the...food. Except that Link didn't leave. Link, in fact, sat down on the other bed and watched Sheik with that 'Look, I'm so useful' expression on his face.  
  
Sheik's bemused gaze returned to the eggs, which were only giving off a little acrid smoke by this point. Eggs should not be crunchy. Nor should they stink like that. And I'm not going to eat charcoal briquettes just because I'd feel guilty about hurting Link's feelings when he's just trying to be helpful, but he really can't cook at all... I mean, this is sub-Zelda level, here, and it probably won't sit well with me...and why in the thirty-nine hells am I trying to talk myself out of something I know I'll end up doing, anyway? Sighing, and fighting down a snarl, Sheik gingerly picked up one smoking egg of doom, popped it into his mouth, chewed it up as fast as he could while making a very interesting sort of squint, and choked it down with a little pained grunt as the egg did, as Link had warned, scrape all the way down. Our hero repeated this procedure with the other egg, and downed the water in an attempt to soothe his raw throat and get the foul taste out of his mouth.  
  
"It's...not so bad, really," he rasped. "Once you get through the outer...crusty bit."  
  
Link brightened. "Really? You really think so?" Sheik nodded. "Oh, good. I was afraid you wouldn't be able to get it down. Would you like some more?" Sheik shook his head.  
  
"NO!" He coughed and tried again. "I mean, no thanks, Link. I don't want to put too much on my stomach just yet."  
  
"Oh, right. Okay."  
  
Link left to fetch more water. Sheik sighed, knowing he wouldn't get back to sleep again, and leaned back against the headboard. Wrapping the blanket around himself more snugly, he wondered how a person could feel hot and cold at the same time. Oh well. At least I'm not queasy anymore.  
  
Someone knocked on the front door. Don't answer it... Footsteps, the creak of hinges, and Link's chirpy 'hello, can I help you?' confirmed once again that Sheik was not a telepath.  
  
Meanwhile, at the front door, Link faced the captain of the guard, who, for his part, was feeling a good deal less intimidating and authoritative on seeing Link. The blond who greeted Dominic at the door was significantly greener, taller, and bulkier than he had anticipated. Through his trepidation the thought occurred to the captain that the man looked like a game warden.  
  
"Can I help you?" Link repeated, almost as confused as Dominic.  
  
Dominic stopped staring and tried to peer over Link's shoulder into the house. "Er...yes. Is the sheikah that lives here-"  
  
"Oh, Sheik's still in bed." The captain blanched and took a small step back. Link went on. "If you're a friend of his, I'm sure you could come in and..." He noticed that Dominic was rather pale and clammy. "I could get you a cup of water, if you'd like."  
  
"N-no," Dominic sputtered, "That's quite all right. I was simply passing by and remembered that we've gotten several reports that the...resident here has been breaking curfew rather regularly."  
  
"It's just that you look kind of pale," Link answered. He was the type who would follow his train of thought all the way out to the end of the line. "Maybe if you had a drink and got out of your armor for a little while, you'd-"  
  
"Great Farore!" Dominic interrupted desperately, "Is that where the sun is? I really must be going now; carry on, citizen!" It's difficult to scamper in armor, even the guards' summer armor, but that's exactly what Dominic did. Link looked on, puzzled, then shrugged and went back inside.  
  
"What's a curfew?" Link asked as he handed Sheik a cupful of water and reclaimed his spot on the other bed.  
  
Sheik had heard Dominic's voice. Oh, brother. "It means we can't go outside after dark." He sipped his water. "Why?"  
  
"Oh," Link said. "I guess someone saw us come in late." He was quiet for a moment. "So, people here aren't allowed to leaves their houses at all after the sun goes down?"  
  
Sheik nodded. "Dusk 'til dawn."  
  
Link thought this over for a minute more. "That's kind of dumb."  
  
"Indeed, it is. But people are harder to keep track of in the dark. Remember who's in charge now."  
  
"Oh, yeah..." Changing the subject, Link said, "The gorons are repairing their city."  
  
"Good," Sheik smiled, glad for a change in topic also. "I thought they'd be all right."  
  
Link grimaced. "I wish they didn't like giving hugs so much, though. My back made a lot of weird clunky sounds..."  
  
Sheik grimaced in sympathy. "I know what you mean. A pat on the back would suffice."  
  
"I don't know. The last time I got a pat on the back from Darunia I ended up eating dirt."  
  
"They don't know their own strength. That kid of his trounced me a few weeks ago."  
  
Link brightened. "Oh, yeah? Link seemed a nice enough guy to me. ...After he ran me over..."  
  
"I rest my case." Our hero noticed a draft coming through the open window. His body couldn't quite decide whether it wanted to shiver or sigh in relief.  
  
Link followed his line of sight. "Oh. Sorry, Navi went to visit her aunt this morning, and I didn't want to trap her outside."  
  
"No, that's all right," Sheik assured him, accepting the waft of cool breeze as a mixed blessing in the greatest sense of the phrase.  
  
A short while later, after the boys' naptime, the blue pixie herself fluttered in through the window. "Well," she said, "that was nice. I got to see all my little cousins, even." She lighted on Link's open palm and ticked off names on her tiny fingers. "There was Jesse, and Natalie, and Caleb, and Susan, and Jing-mei, and Ethan, and Cletus, and Barb, and Little Anton, and..." She wrinkled her nose. "What's that smell? Is that YOU?"  
  
Link blushed. "Oops."  
  
Navi made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. "Don't tell me you forgot to bathe this week! Am I going to have to start leaving notes for you again? Do you have any idea how long it takes me to write big enough for you to see?"  
  
Link shook his head.  
  
"It takes..." Navi began, trailing off as she considered the actual duration of her backbreaking labors. "It takes several minutes! Minutes sucked out of my life that I can never get back!"  
  
After several such minutes of half-hearted argument, Link finally conceded that yes, perhaps he did need a wash-up, and yes, his clothing was getting the tiniest bit sour. Sheik kindly dragged his diseased carcass out of bed long enough to find a suitable change of clothes for Link from Impa's dresser, directed man and pixie to his usual bathing spot, and retreated back under the blankets.  
  
"Honestly," Navi clucked as she shooed her bemused charge out the door, "I shudder to think of you living on your own."  
  
With the two greatest sources of noise out of the house, Sheik swiftly stole away once again into slumber in serene solitude. The potion he'd downed the night previous had knocked him out cold. What medicine that was still in his system was at least partially responsible for some decidedly strange dreams.  
  
In his dream, Sheik found himself industriously painting cheerful green polka dots on the exterior of his house. He wasn't quite certain why he was doing it, but it was definitely something he did often, as the ease with which he wielded his paintbrush averred.  
  
A tap on his shoulder distracted his from his work, causing one of the dots to have a drunken, lopsided look about it. Turning around, he was surprised and slightly bewildered at facing Captain Dominic in a comically oversized feathered hat.  
  
"You, there!" the captain barked, flicking a huge feather out of his eyes in irritation. "What's your favorite color?"  
  
Sheik glared. He interrupted me and ruined my flow for that? "Purple," he snapped curtly. "I already told you."  
  
"Oh?" Dominic said with malicious glee, "Then what's that?" he asked, pointing at the bucket of green paint Sheik held with one hand, while pulling a set of manacles from his pocket with the other.  
  
Sheik showed him exactly what it was by splashing the paint into Dominic's face. While the officer was thus temporarily incapacitated, our fearless sheikan warrior beat a hasty retreat toward the entrance to the pass into Death Mountain. Alas, his way was blocked not only by the closed gate, but also by a sizable group of townspeople, who eyed him with what could only be termed as a predatory stare.  
  
Skidding to a halt with a muttered invective, Sheik made a quick about-face and lit off in the other direction, weaving through alleys to avoid the fuming Dominic and the rest of his pursuers and tripping over every possible obstacle in his way. Eventually, all other escape routes exhausted, Sheik stumbled into the graveyard and scaled the largest of its many sickly trees.  
  
No sooner had he installed himself in the highest branches and paused to catch his breath, than the impromptu mob arrived on the scene, headed by Dominic in his huge, feathered, and now very green hat. He spotted Sheik first, and, at his call, the townsfolk surrounded the base of the tree, staring up at Sheik like a pack of hounds with a raccoon at bay.  
  
Sheik tightened his grip on the tree and pondered his options. Somehow, screaming at them to go away doesn't seem to promise results...  
  
"Go away!" he screamed. It was worth a shot. For some reason, he couldn't come up with any other ideas, let alone any better ideas. I wish I had something to throw at them.  
  
As if in answer to Sheik's thoughts, Victor plucked a stone from the ground and lobbed it at our stranded hero. Ducking to dodge the missile, Sheik nearly lost his balance and toppled to the ground. Windmilling his arms for a few tense seconds, he snatched at the branches and managed to pull himself back to safety.  
  
"Hey!" he shouted indignantly, for lack of a wittier retort.  
  
"Just climb down," drawled a sulky voice to his left. Sheik glanced up from the mob in surprise to see Grog the hybrid sitting nonchalantly on an adjacent branch.  
  
"Are you insane?!" Sheik cried. "You want me to climb down into that?" He pointed down at the mob, swarming like angry ants around the tree. Some of the more impatient folks tried shaking the trunk to dislodge their quarry. Sheik simply gripped the branches tighter.  
  
Grog didn't even twitch. "You know they're going to get you out of the tree somehow eventually. It would be easier to just climb down and have done with it."  
  
Sheik had to admit that there was a cold, disconsolate logic to Grog's advice. A single hurled stone would soon become a hail of rocks, a few of the people carried torches and sooner or later they'd figure out how to use them, and in any case, at some point Sheik would just be too tired to hang on any longer.  
  
"Oh, don't pay any attention to him," another voice beckoned from Sheik's right. A little annoyed at the continued interruptions to his thoughts, Sheik turned to see Sebastian sharing his branch. "We'll think of something." Bas beamed reassuringly, an expression that fit his face as well as a suit fit a cucco. Sheik wasn't feeling very reassured, but appreciated the moral support. At least someone was on his side.  
  
Looking down again, the homogenous crowd began to resolve itself into individual people. There was Dominic, of course, his green face upturned patiently. There was Victor, who threw the rock. Goodwife Thatcher watched him, along with several of the other neighbors and their children. There were the twins, Marcus and Taran, smiling and waving. Ito, the loquacious zora, stood on the edge of the crowd, looking confused but interested in the proceedings. Also on the fringes lurked Edgar and a few of his pet poes, gazing silently up at the tree with his sad, permanent half-grin. Widow Spinkly, Zelda, and the Lakeside doctor gave silent encouragement, along with Link and Navi, the Great Fairies, and Kaepora... In fact, Sheik found that if he looked at any bland, generic form long enough, it would somehow change into someone he knew.  
  
Sheik swept his gaze over his friends scattered throughout the predominantly bloodthirsty crowd and wondered idly why they couldn't figure out that he was in trouble.  
  
"I would suggest that you make up your mind about what you're doing, before they do it for you," Grog sighed dispassionately.  
  
"I know!" Bas exclaimed. "Why don't you just fly somewhere else?"  
  
Raising one eyebrow in disbelief at the sheer idiocy of Bas' statement, Sheik peevishly replied, "Why do you think?"  
  
Bas gave Sheik the look one reserves for slow but well-loved child. "Because you're a bird."  
  
Just as Sheik opened his beak to argue, he noticed that he was, in fact, a bird. One of the graveyard's many crows, by the looks of things. Well, I'll be...  
  
"But I can't fly," Sheik murmured nervously, gazing forlornly down at the crowd.  
  
Gently, Bas lifted Sheik off the branch and climbed with him to an opening in the foliage. "Sure you can. Now, get ready..."  
  
Without further ado, or tearful farewells, Bas threw a very startled Sheik into the air.  
  
Flapping like mad, Sheik ended his fall just out of reach of the townsfolk and laboriously climbed above the treetops. Aiming himself in the general direction of the mountains to the north, he settled into a glide, relaxed a bit in his newfound safety, and enjoyed flying. One should never look a gift flying dream in the mouth, after all...  
  
The sounds of the crowd followed him, but Sheik wasn't alarmed by this until he became aware that he was steadily losing altitude. Flapping, and beginning to feel the burn, he fought for more height, with limited success. Wouldn't you know it--I knew it was too good to last... His flight feathers were spilling air faster than a leaky balloon, and no matter how hard he struggled, his faulty wings wouldn't keep him airborne for much longer. Sinking fast, with his pursuers close behind, the situation was beginning to look rather dire.  
  
With a desperate groan, Sheik spied his open bedroom window and managed to stay in the air just long enough to duck inside. Frantic, and somehow his usual, unfeathered self again, he searched for his chain whip, or even his harp, and was dismayed to find neither weapon. Wait a second; why didn't I just teleport in the first place? A loud slam accompanied by a crack of splintering wood announced that the mob had forced the door open. Sheik thought of a safe, quiet spot and was understandably upset when nothing happened.  
  
By this time, the townsfolk had searched downstairs and were headed toward Sheik's loft. Bracing himself, our hero fixed his eyes on the top of the stairs.  
  
Predictably enough, Dominic led the procession. Sheik had meant to go down fighting, but got to sending dagger looks to those of his so-called friends who crowded into his room along with his so-called enemies. In some physics-bending way, the entire town population and then some were inside with room to spare in an empty perimeter around Sheik, and he was so busy trying to reason this out that he forgot his peril until Dominic placed him under official arrest and the crowd went wild in the most literal and least pleasant sense of the term.  
  
Snatching at him and pulling him in about three and a half different directions (whoever had caught him around the waist didn't seem to have quite the same muscularity of the other three factions), friend and foe alike seemed to have lost all sense of teamwork and were playing tug-of-war with their unwilling sheikan rope.  
  
Shaking them off, Sheik turned in a worried circle as he tried to stay in the middle of his circle of empty floor, a circle that was growing ever smaller. If he jumped back to dodge one person's swipe, he'd blunder back into someone else and have to fight his way loose again. Seeing the crowd fighting almost as much with each other as they were against him, and hearing the insistent, angry chatter reminded our weary and worn-down hero of a flock of cuccos.  
  
...And, with that quality dreams have of taking everything to heart, no sooner was the analogy made than the people turned into a chaotic melee of white barnyard fowl, and poor Sheik the flightless crow was suddenly the nucleus of an enraged bird atom. Mercilessly pecked, clawed, and buffeted by wings, Sheik was helpless to do anything but crouch down low to the ground and shield himself with his own useless wings as best he could.  
  
Sheik had squeezed his eyes shut to save them from murderous beaks and claws, and launched the odd bite himself by feel. He may or may not have been yelling, but the raucous screeches of the cuccos drowned it out. Blindly skidding across the floor as he was smacked and kicked, he hugged his wings closer around himself and shivered in avian terror, a sad little ball of black feathers in what appeared to be a storm of homicidal pillows with beaks and legs. A cucco pecked his back and plucked out a beakful of feathers, adding insult to injury.  
  
Bruised, scratched, bitten, and too tired to dodge the blows that rained down on him, Sheik accepted defeat and prepared for the worst, which came in the form of a nasty peck that he'd decided to face head-on.  
  
When Link very lightly slapped Sheik on the cheek to wake him, the brave sheikah leapt awake with a panicked yelp and a spasmodic flailing of limbs, nearly socking Link a good one right in the nose.  
  
"Um...hi," Link said softly, easing Sheik out of whatever fighting stance he'd tried to achieve while tangled in a blanket, disoriented, and off-balance.  
  
"Aww," Navi cooed mockingly, "Did oo have a scawy dweam?"  
  
Having gotten himself more or less under control, Sheik glared at her as he got shakily to his feet and hobbled out to the klivingchen. "No," he muttered sullenly. "He just surprised me, is all." He looked back over his shoulder at Link. "And you're lucky I caught myself; with my killer instincts, someone might have gotten hurt."  
  
"Like you," Navi mumbled in Sheik's direction blithely.  
  
Moving Link's drying clothes out of the way, Sheik set himself to fixing dinner, since it looked to be about that time of night. He managed to make sure everyone's eggs still looked, smelled, and tasted more or less like eggs, much to his and his guests' relief.  
  
Two more days passed in similar manner, Sheik and Link sleeping most of the time, and chatting or sitting in amiable silence when they were awake. When the medicine wore off to the point where both could stay up all day without feeling too groggy, Link decided that he might as well be back on his way. Thanking his host, he and Navi excused themselves to the Water Temple, leaving our hero once again home alone.  
  
He was filling a small bucket from the rain barrel out back, with the intent of washing the floors, when he heard a soft squeak. His curiosity piqued, Sheik stooped down to examine the weeds under the tree beside his window. Imagine with what mixed emotions he found that blasted robin, lying on the ground with blood oozing out of a bald spot on his back. He was probably attacked by a jay...  
  
"Well, you should have known it would happen someday," Sheik scolded as the robin peeped again on seeing its savior. "You've gone and mouthed off to the wrong bird."  
  
Peep.  
  
"Now, don't give me that. You're not entirely blameless."  
  
Peep.  
  
"I know you're a family man, but that's just the way it goes sometimes. The chicks are fledged, and your mate's still young enough to find someone else. There's no really urgent reason for me to help you."  
  
Peep.  
  
Sheik had to admit that the bird was persuasive. Sighing at the world in general, he scooped up the injured robin and carried it inside. The robin made a soft chirrup in its throat and sat placidly in Sheik's cupped hand.  
  
"I'll bet you're going to give me fleas, too..." Sheik grumbled without any genuine rancor.  
  
Washing the floors was replaced with carefully cleaning the robin's injury. The scratches weren't as deep as they had first appeared, but they could still become infected. Sheik removed the last two eggs in the house from their basket for lunch. As they boiled, he found some ratty clothing in Zelda and Impa's room that he assumed they wouldn't miss, and made a nest of sorts in the empty egg basket.  
  
The robin snuggled into its soft bed appreciatively and dozed on the table. Sheik watched the bird as he ate, wondering how and when he had become such a push-over. He was peeling the shell off the second egg when the chirping started up again. Sheik's eyes met the robin's across the table, and dropped back down to the egg he was holding. Sighing, he pulled the yolk out and crumbled it with his fingers within pecking distance of the bird.  
  
"That's what you get, take it or leave it," Sheik said reproachfully, eating the remains of his lunch. "I'm not catching bugs for you. A guy's got to draw the line somewhere."  
  
The bird took it, snarfing the yolk with alarming speed, and going back to sleep.  
  
"You're welcome," our hero muttered curmudgeonly, taking care to keep his voice low.  
  
Sheik was wandering from room to room listlessly, tidying things and generally at a loss for anything to do. An unexpected knock at the door shook him into wakefulness. He couldn't make out who it was through the windows, and felt some trepidation about opening a door that might reveal Dominic.  
  
His visitor turned out to be Sebastian. If seeing the gravedigger during an overcast day was unusual, seeing him in full sunshine was downright eerie. Sheik invited him inside before the man turned to dust and blew away.  
  
Bas explained that he'd fretted over his sick friend's health and had finally decided to check up on him. "By the time I remembered that I don't know where you live, I was kind of lost," he said. "And people didn't really like me staying in the shadows of their houses, either. I told them that it was only because I get sunburns so easily, but I got hollered at anyway." He sighed, absently stroking the top of the robin's head. He hadn't asked about the bird, and apparently didn't find it particularly odd that it was snoozing on the table.  
  
"Well, one lady gave me directions, and it turns out you live right next door to her! I must have passed this place five times." He paused. "She gave me the meanest look when I mentioned your name, though..."  
  
"Oh," Sheik said with a wave of his hand, "she's going through that time of life, I think."  
  
"Ah."  
  
An awkward pause ensued. Bas fidgeted self-consciously, obviously feeling out of place so far from the graveyard. "So," he began, trying to be casual, "you look like you're on the mend."  
  
"Yep." Sheik found himself sharing in Bas' unease. Why was it so unnatural for him to be here in the house when they could yak for hours in the cemetery? It's just another one of those things I'll never know...  
  
Struggling for something else to break the dead air, Sheik commented, "Your hair looks different, for some reason."  
  
Bas colored. On such a pale face, even a slight blush was conspicuous. "Oh, that. Actually, that's my second reason for coming to see you. I thought that, perhaps, for a change of pace, I'd braid my hair." He grimaced. "Well, I don't have a mirror, and I haven't really braided much before...and I got it all tangled up. The ghosts are useless; they just laugh at me."  
  
Sheik raised an eyebrow. He wondered if any of Link's beneficiaries were as odd as his own. "And you can't get the knots out yourself?"  
  
Suddenly finding a fascinating spot on the table to look at, Bas nodded. "I can't see the snags back there. I brought my own comb," he added brightly. "...It's in there, somewhere."  
  
Since he'd already taken in a robin that he loathed, Sheik didn't see anything wrong with aiding someone he actually did like. Going out behind the house where there was ample light and a cooling breeze, the pair settled into the shade of the tree.  
  
Freeing the comb from tendrils of hair that had taken on a life of its own took the better part of ten minutes, and then the real fun began. Sheik stared in disbelief at the shoulder-blade length serpents' nest of snarls and knots that passed for a braid from a distance.  
  
"Bas, even without a mirror, how in the thirty-nine hells did you mess up this badly?"  
  
Bas shrugged apologetically and sighed. Thinking that the easiest way to start would be to undo the majority of the braid with his fingers, Sheik was irritated to find that almost anywhere he pulled two pieces apart, some part of the braid tightened even more.  
  
"Sweet Nayru!" Sheik barked as Bas yelped from having his hair roughly pulled for the umpteenth time. Half an hour after he'd started, Sheik had managed to get the braid undone, but there were still dozens of smaller snags that refused to come out without just the right movements. "It would be a lot easier to just cut them out."  
  
"If we were allowed to own knives, that's what I would have done," Bas murmured, trying to buttress Sheik's ebbing patience.  
  
After a few more minutes during which Sheik's frustration mounted, he said, "Could you talk, or distract me in some way, so I don't tear these tangles out by the roots?" Unsurprisingly, Bas was all too happy to oblige in this request.  
  
"I saw something weird on my way here."  
  
"Oh?" Sheik murmured, finally persuading one particularly huge knot to come undone. His urge to horribly mangle something lessened somewhat.  
  
Remembering not to nod, Bas went on. "Yeah; I was passing by the Well of Three Features and happened to notice that it's run dry."  
  
Sheik paused, comb halfway through a tricky snag. "After that wet winter we had, and after it rained all spring, the well is dry? Either you're pulling my chain, or you saw it wrong. I was just there last week and the water was only ten feet from the surface."  
  
Bas huffed. "I don't pull chains," he remarked, a bit offended. "And I saw the bedrock at the bottom, clear as crystal. It may have been full last week, but it's dry as a bone now. It was creepy."  
  
"That well is always creepy," Sheik said off-handedly, "That's one of its features."  
  
"It's not usually that bad," Bas insisted, "It gave me the heebie-jeebies today."  
  
That was food for thought. It takes a lot to faze a guy who works alongside ghosts every day... Sheik was then reminded of something else.  
  
"Say, speaking of heebie-jeebies, have the ghosts got back to their normal cheery selves yet?"  
  
With a defeated sigh, the gravedigger said, "No, they're getting worse, no matter what I say to them. Restless spirits, I can deal with. That's normal. But everyone's downright antsy lately. It's irritating; it's even more irritating that they won't tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Hmm." Another tangle disappeared as Sheik pondered that. "I've never heard of spirits acting that way before."  
  
"Me neither; it's like they're waiting for a blow to-yowch!-- fall, or something."  
  
"Sorry," Sheik muttered after accidentally plucking out a few hairs. "...There. I'd say that's as good as it's going to get."  
  
Bas cautiously ran his fingers through his freed hair as they stood up. "Thanks."  
  
They wended their way through Kakariko's alleyways, sticking to the shade out of consideration for Bas' complexion and keeping up a more or less steady stream of chatter. Sheik had been arguing vehemently about the well for upwards of five minutes when the pair found themselves, conveniently enough, at the very source of the disagreement.  
  
"...and here it is." Sheik pointed out the Well of Three Features, which crouched menacingly on a small rise south of the windmill. "I'll show you. There's no way the well could have run dry that quickly."  
  
Boldly leading his friend to the rim of the well, Sheik grinned smugly and made a sweeping gesture over the structure's mouth with his arm. "Observe." He picked a small pebble off the ground and showed it to Bas. Once again, it falls to the highly-evolved sheikah to elucidate the masses. "It's a trick of the light. I'll just toss this pebble in, and in a moment we shall hear it splash."  
  
"But-"  
  
Sheik held up a finger. "We shall hear it splash because it will have hit the water which is still in the well. Listen." With great ceremony, he released the pebble, and the two friends leaned out over the well mouth to catch the sound it made.  
  
There was a small smack of stone hitting and bouncing along stone. Far, far below, Sheik thought he could make out crisscrossing lines of bedrock.  
  
Bas nodded, satisfied. "Yep. You sure showed me."  
  
"Well," Sheik muttered, still staring down the very empty, very dry well. "I'll be a scrub's uncle."  
  
Man, what an unbalanced chapter. Calculus and Classical Mechanics at the same time will do that... 


End file.
